Suicide threat, distressed poster

[picklemepopcorn]

In chat, just posted.

[Ceto]

It's all very well saying troll hunters, goady types or just well-meaning people who post something triggering can be deleted - it doesn't stop the suicidal person from reading their posts, does it?

[LipstickHandbagCoffee]

You don't have to be trained to help a person with mental health problems

That’s the problem, assumption of an ability to fix,sort someone else

No one would honestly say You don't have to be trained to help a person with cardiac problems. They would see the immediacy and signpost to appropriate service

[IrenetheQuaint]

"The poster was responding. When they are responding they are alive. That’s it. When they are responding they are alive. When you stop them responding, then you simoly don’t know."

Or you are keeping the poster awake and agitated, responding to dozens of 'think of your children' posts, when they might have otherwise calmed down a bit and gone to bed.

[PurpleDaisies]

Sure one poster said a two year old was fun, however it was one response in many,

Yes, many many posters saying to think of her daughter. The trouble is, if you’re acutely suicidal you can think that killing yourself to stol your daughter from having you as their mum is the best and kindest thing to do.

[LEMtheoriginal]

Walking away from this now - too upsetting and will no doubt go round in circles. The deletion message was unsympathetic which was my issue.

[Ceto]

Ffs, what is it with this fantasy scenario, no one did that.

Can you not understand that what happened for a relatively short time period on one thread is not the point? The longer one of those threads stays up, the more danger there is of that happening.

[Bluntness100]

hy don’t you have a chat with the leading MH charities and let them know that you think their advice is bull? It is not just mumsnet, it is an Internet wise policy to protect vulnerable individuals

Then maybe those charities can come on here and tell us how deleting a thread, where everyone said wake your partner, and the poster was interacting, there were no trolls or goading, with “sorry to hear that, we don’t allow these threads, try the Samaritans” is protecting them.

I’d be interested to hear.

[Pineappleundersea]

It must be nice to have the ability to compartmentalise stuff.

To look at someone's suicidal thoughts and just think "that's inappropriate to write on here".

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

No troll started on them, sure, delete if it happens, but it didn’t. Sure one poster said a two year old was fun, however it was one response in many

Yes, but the thread was taken down quickly, how long would it have taken until the troll hunting starts? And as a PP said the combination of it being really hard to read tone in print, and the OP not being in the best mental state could easily mean that something innocuous could be completely the wrong thing today.

It is not true that any help is better than no help. The person who make above that if they saw someone lying on the street they would try to administer first aid - what about the untrained person who kills a child by performing adult CPR in them, because that's what they've seen on the TV.

First do no harm sometimes means doing nothing.

[Ceto]

Pineapple, it's perfectly clear that that's not what anyone thought, least of all MNHW.

[Battleax]

Pinrapple you're not listening. People's responses are coloured by wha they remember of past disaster threads and what could happen again. It's not indifference, but concern.

[Bluntness100]

Can you not understand that what happened for a relatively short time period on one thread is not the point

Can you not understand that I think when it comes to something thus serious then every thread should be dealt with in isolation?. There should be no one catch all policy?

[PurpleDaisies]

To look at someone's suicidal thoughts and just think "that's inappropriate to write on here".

It’s not that. It’s about what’s most helpful for them, not that they’ve broken talk guidelines.

[Bluntness100]

First do no harm sometimes means doing nothing

This sickens me. And with that I shall leave the thread because if someone tells me they are suicidal I will never do nothing.

[Ceto]

But there has to be an overall policy, Bluntness. It's all very well saying no one was troll hunting or goading on that thread during the time it was up, but if the thread's left up, that can and does happen at any time. It's been pointed out that deletions never happen instantaneously, and it could be massively damaging not only to that person but others as well.

[PurpleDaisies]

People weren’t all saying to wake the husband or call the crisis team. They were encouraging her to chat to them as if they could fix her.

[DonkeyOaty]

a short thread here

[sobeyondthehills]

As someone who has posted a fairly desperate thread, they did keep my post up, however they also emailed me and I think PMd me as well. So to their credit, it didn't just stop

[Acrosstheuniverse123]

I feel very torn about this. I have a suicidal relative. The crisis team are useless. The Samaritans often seem to be reading off a script. There is no help in A and E, and sitting for hours and hours with drunk people when you’re in that state, waiting to be seen is intolerable. GPS don’t care and just dole out antidepressants. I actually think talking to a range of people, some of whom have experienced being suicidal and come through it could be enormously helpful. However I also see how traumatic and potentially damaging it could be for both the poster and respondents. It’s very hard to know what’s best.

[LipstickHandbagCoffee]

People mean well,but aren’t meeting the poster immediate need they’re meeting their own need to fix someone (for want of a better phrase)
And attempting to fix someone in absence of full information isn’t a fix,it’s a fudge

[SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning]

Bluntness the advice is that the moderators provide the support to encourage the person to seek real life help and to direct to organisations such as; the Samaritans. People on these threads say things like “talk to me, I can help”. Whilst genuine and very kind, it’s not safe for the person who is not well.

As a general comment, the arrogance of some people on here never fails to astound me. They think they know better than those who are trying to keep very vulnerable people safe.

[Holyknight]

I wasn’t on MN when I felt desperate enough to call the Samaritans. But the help the Samaritans gave was pretty hopeless. From what I’ve seen on threads responding to people in extremis, I reckon I’d have received far more actual help on here. There are a lot of people who’ve experienced suicidal thoughts, many who are HCPs and a lot of naturally wise people on MN. Of course there are people who respond who are pretty clueless but as say, I didn’t feel my phone call to the Samaritans helped much, if at all.

[RunningOutOfCharge]

thanks for that link donkey

reiterates what most of mums net think

[Nancy91]

Being suicidal is not the same as having a heart attack. You can't delay a heart attack by speaking to someone. You can't change a heart attack's mind. It is not something with a physical cure.

People signposting people to the Samaritans or nhs teams - I'm just putting it out there that they made me feel worse. The mental health team here is so hard to get through to and they seemed emotionally cold, as they obviously had many other people in crisis that they had to deal with.

Some of the greatest words of support were from forums online and obviously my partner in real life.

Even a thread about wanting to help a suicidal person is met with such hostility on here.

I will continue to try to talk to any poster that reaches out for help. I hope others would do the same for me.

If the OP sees this then please know that I'm thinking of you.

[Battleax]

All I can say is that I have a (quite young, vulnerable) relative who suffers from severe depressive disorder and has been actively suicidal many times.

The thought of that person turning to MN or similar in a crisis makes my blood run cold.