Deleting whole threads

[Northernlurker]

I've been here for ten years now (dd3 10th birthday approaching)

When I started posting threads were hardly ever deleted. Sometimes people would ask for them to go and they were nearly always told to get a grip. This had a very positive effect on posting behaviour because it just wasn't possible to talk a load of bollocks on a thread and not have it come up to bite you later. It dealt with a lot of posters who would otherwise have time wasted.

That principle seems to have totally disappeared now. Threads are deleted all the time ' to protect privacy' when what seems to be meant is to protect the posters blushes because they've had their arse handed to them on a plate. Some posters in particular are getting threads, which people have spent time and energy answering, deleted repeatedly.

This is a website for adults and I think we all need to behave like adults. That means sticking by our comments. Could we try a no thread deletion policy for a bit? Threads with rl names could have those posts deleted but the threads still stand. Might encourage better posting behaviour.

Bore 👍

What is wrong with asking for a thread to be deleted though?

Maybe the poster posted in haste and regrets posting. I can't see much wrong with having a bit of control over your own posts on MN.

I've had a few threads deleted.

The last one turned into a fucking witch hunt where I'd posted for some support about a very sensitive subject. One poster became quite agressive and I had a namechange fail. She went as far as searching my other username and posting details of other threads, completely outing me, laughing at me and doubting how genuine I was and encouraging other posters to search for me and do the same before I had the chance to get HQ to correct the name on my current thread.

She is a long-standing MNer who in my opinion should have known better than to purposely "out" someone who needed support.

I had to have more than one thread pulled to protect my privacy because of that.

I do think it happens more often now, and with journalists trawling the boards to find stories, its not surprising.

It is annoying to invest time and energy helping another poster just to have the thread taken down again but I don't think HQ just pull them willy nilly.

Dunham, I know that I wouldn't have any issue with that kind of thread being pulled for privacy, and I doubt the others here would either. That isn't the kind of "privacy issues" thread we are complaining about - that is an actual privacy issues issue :)

Because threads are deleted at the drop of a hat now for all sorts of spurious and ridiculous reasons it makes me think twice about even bothering to post on them.

Especially the ones where people are asking you to share your experiences and give advice.

The majority of deleted threads are due to the OP not liking the replies from what I have seen.

That's weird.

It says at the top of this thread, that MNHQ have commented but I can't see it?

I noticed that too.

Me too, Worra

Yep, clicking on it just refreshes the thread. Weird!!

I didn't start this thread to discuss one poster. Absolutely true that one poster appears to be exploiting the willingness to delete whole threads more than most at the moment but it's a far bigger problem than simply that person and actually if the trend hadn't already gone that way, I doubt very much that you would see the type of threads from them or others that we do now.

I find the thread deletions very frustrating because I can't spend all day reading Mumsnet. Could they lock threads instead?

Hello everyone, thanks for your comments about deletions.

When someone asks for a thread to go, we really try and make an informed decision on whether or not it's the right thing to do. This isn't always an easy thing to call nor is it an exact science and we push back, more often than not.

We always make it clear to an OP that we will only remove a thread for good reason. This is the internet after all and we do advise people to be careful about what they post, though as we are here to make people's lives easier, we don't really want a situation where the OP is horribly upset by a thread either. Having said all that, we really do appreciate how annoying and frustrating it is when a thread you've invested time and energy in goes pop.

Regarding your reports- we may not respond individually to everyone but we do read every single report, and we really appreciate you taking the time to get in touch with us. As you can probably imagine, we get a lot of reports and responding to every one would take up an awful lot of time, which we think is better spent dealing with what's happening on the boards.

Is there a way an auto-reply system could be set up, even if individual responses aren't sent any more? Or would that be too hard?

What about when you report and hq come back and ask for more info as to why you're saying what you're saying? It is really unsettling to then provide personal information as to why you know something and either receive no response or a very generic one.

I gave of myself to provide hq info and to get no response or a standard one line answer seems uncaring or dismissive or something. It doesn't feel right.

I think the threads where outright bullying takes place should be deleted, it isn't clever to bully it just shows what kind of person you are

Of course threads with outright bullying should be deleted.

So should threads where it's blatantly obvious an OP is on a wind-up, or goading, or after money.

I think the sad thing about the last few days' goings-on is that posters took time, energy, and effort to help. They opened their hearts and gave far more of themselves than they probably should have. They are obviously kind-hearted, if naive people who simply didn't, at the time, know the way certain threads go. There was also a wealth of information on those threads for vulnerable women in situations similar to those described. All that information has now gone. And those posters who took all that time, only to be shouted and bawled at by the OP, won't bother next time. That's the real sadness about it all. Another poster will come along, in a vulnerable long-term situation, and ask for help (because a mainly women/mother demographic forum is exactly where they are going to turn) and they aren't going to get anywhere near as much help as was given this week.

What Vintage said.

I shouldn't have gone on the thread in OTBT last night but I am really really hurting that I was taken for a complete mug. I gave of myself to support someone who I thought was vulnerable, in a bad situation. Emotionally I supported someone and I went above and beyond to advise and help and seek out places for support. I needed and still need somewhere to vent - and why shouldn't I vent here?

That person rounded on me and others and their acolytes and supporters rounded on me and others. There was an absolute wealth of information on those threads and all that has happened is that I have learnt a lesson and I won't be supportive again like that - I will be sticking to one or two posts per thread, not getting invested and basically not caring.

I do, however, think that the threads should have been locked, not deleted. Even if only to protect those in future who may be as much of a mug as I was and try to help. Because what will happen now is that with the history gone and deleted there will be a whole new set of mugs to provide support and validation for that poster. And that makes me angry and sad.

We have all been taken for mugs by one poster or another on MN. It's the internet, it happens.

Just move on.

And one thing I do want to say. over and over and over.

If you are in a bad situation and you need support, RING WOMEN'S AID. Don't be taken in by what that poster said, it's not true. Most of the time you will get straight through to a trained advice worker, and if not, if you leave a message THEY WILL RING YOU BACK.

You will not be left for days with no call back - messages are checked regularly and you should get a call back within 24 hours.

PLEASE don't ever think there is no point of phoning because no one will ring you back.

Same if you decide to talk to your health visitor. They WILL SUPPORT YOU.

If you go to a drop in centre with your kids the advice workers will still see you. Some drop in centres have creches where your kids can play while you talk to someone.

If you don't want to speak the words out loud, write down a note and hand it over - advice workers can read it and gently ask you questions to get you to appropriate help.

Help is out there and services will do their best to help you when you are reaching out and asking for assistance.

Just to bust the myths of what that poster we can't refer to had said on the deleted threads.

You were not rounded on by anyone, Uni.

And joining in on that thread is a lot worse than being advised to leave the thread and get on with your day.

You've kinda lost the moral high ground there and I don't understand why you are perpetuating this shit show.

It's over.

I think there is a difference between not liking how a thread goes and it degenerating into a pile in from both "sides". Certainly the thread I posted a polite reply on that MNHQ deleted at OP's request wasn't a pile in, the OP simply didn't like my suggestion. The same OP coincidentally appeared on the next thread I posted on with a broad enough post, but enough for me to know he/she was unhappy with me. So I name-changed.

You can't expect to be able to vent on MN about another poster. Troll hunting/personal attacks are not allowed.

Just to add to the advice.

Don't be afraid to post on MN for advice in case you will be turned on and have threads started about you by bullies.

It's normally not that childish here.

MN is not an emergency service. Help in RL is what a lot of posters should be seeking. Not opinions from randoms on the internet, and definitely don't post in AIBU if you have a genuine problem.

Threads with rl names could have those posts deleted but the threads still stand. Might encourage better posting behaviour.

I agree with the OP and I am pissed off to see how easy it is now for a poster to cry 'But this will identify me! Waah! I'm SOOO upset, I have ANXIETY don't you know' on threads that haven't gone their way and were not even particularly identifying anyway.

After hackergate MN said anyone who wanted their entire history deleted could have it. I thought about it, but I saw so many great threads decimated overnight, no longer making any sense due to the amount of deletions, which was such a shame and I actually felt a bit sorry for MN. I felt the archive was important, the history and the community's backstory was important, evidence of all the support and the great laughs we'd shared were important.

What I did do was make a conscious decision to post in a much more circumspect way and I started to NC frequently, along with most other people.

I have quite an identifying backstory that I talked about a great deal at one point under my old regular name. A while ago it came to my attention that a family member I have moaned about a lot on here is probably here too now, and I REALLY don't want them to find me. I found as many very identifying posts as I could and reported them for individual deletion. I apologised to MNHQ for the piecemeal nature of the deletions and said that if it was easier they could just delete all of my posts from certain threads rather than just the identifying posts, but I they said they really don't like to do that because it makes the threads look like Swiss cheese (their words.)

However, several months ago I came across another couple of posts that really identified me (names of my children and name/breed of my pet) so I emailed MNHQ asking them to remove those two posts. And for some reason they won't do it.

Admittedly I am locked out of the email address I use only for MN so if they had contacted me with a reason then I can't know what that reason is, but I have asked them twice now and those posts still stand.

I realise it was my own fault and I should have been more careful. But to be fair MN was a different place five or six years ago compared to now. Most people had never even heard of MN, now there is barely a day it's not mentioned somewhere in the media. It does piss me right off to see whole thread deletions happening almost daily on trumped up grounds of 'privacy' and yet I can't get this one small thing.

I wish I'd deleted my whole previous history while I had the chance.

FrenchL I am shocked that your single post deletion request has been rejected, that's awful.