quote of the week

[lissielou]

can i nominate this from meowmix please

By meowmix on Mon 05-Mar-07 06:58:56
"Get out! Mummy is ALLOWED to POO IN PRIVATE" seems to be my personal mantra at the moment. And whats nice about that is its memorable and good to teach all his friends at nursery. and the teacher. and to tell the doctor. And my work colleagues.

from this thread

ooh this one is great

By hatwoman on Thu 22-Mar-07 23:01:09

If you're old enough not to know if you can do monkey bars then the chances are you can't. and it's really not befitting of a sophisticated yummy mummy to try.

thread

is: i wish i was a seahorse

as a thread title.

genius

on so many levels.

it has to be custy with this little blinder, was pmsl for ages:

'i want them to have mad passionate sex on the beach with someone called pablo. i want them to experience much much more than children. they can have children later - but youth ...ahhhh.... youth comes but once. use it wisely to fuck pablo and get sand in yer crack'

Sunnywong, on Johnnie Boden:

'seems like a bit of a saddle sniffer, but makes nice threads'

By Fimbo on Fri 23-Mar-07 17:16:07
My dh stumbled across MN once, in my history and said "isn't it supposed to be a parenting site, all they talk about is shoes".

I have to nominate this one:-

By WanderingTrolley on Sat 24-Mar-07 15:10:12
Hunker you can buy empty laundry baskets in Homebase, but every one I've bought fills up straight away, they're crap, total waste of cash.

I do a full load. I know when it's time to put the machine on because I have to go out wearing a crop top, a kaftan, cycling shorts and pop socks, everything else is in a ceremonial pile in, around and on the laundry basket.

I'm a looker, me.

By Rhubarb on Sat 24-Mar-07 20:42:18
My dh always wanted to be a fart and to that effect he was successful.

on the "how do other mners see you..." thread.

By By Megglevache on Sun 25-Mar-07 13:19:49 here

"Dh was so stressed last night that he listened to my hypnobirthing cd. He told me this morning that he had fallen asleep safe in the knowledge that he had a beautiful ripe cervix and wonderful uterus. I didn't know whether to hit him or laugh, I opted for the latter."

Ive just had to spit my green tea back into teh cup at NormaStanley's nomination

SMS - that is brilliant!

(hope her DS is OK - I am now lurking on that thread)

bump

Not pithy but I think this one by TeeCee is rather wonderful:

"To celebrate Lottie not using hr frame anymore (they stopped using it in school this week) we took her and DD2 to the Natural History Museum and the Science Museum.

It was just fab to have both girls running around the NHM, Lottie deciding which way we were going, Eve really loving every single glass cabinet displaying all the different animals etc. It was just so great.

Then onto the science museum where we have been about 27 times with Lottie but she's never been able to walk round and enjoy things her way before, she's always been on her bum or in our arms. It was so, so lovely watching her just powering her way around, arms flapping, huge grin, shouting to us "come on, dis way"!

And on the way out she had an icecream in one hand and she walked the whole way, the whole length from the lifts through the space bit to the main doors, people parting to make way for her

D and I just kept looking at each other, smiling and shaking our heads in disbelief, and then back to our little walker, steaming on ahead!

When we got home and the car pulled up alongside the house she said 'busy day mummy, busy day"!!!!!!!!

Yeah a busy, great day
At last "

''i live near a dog biscuit factory and it stinks outside today''

Was a pretty funny thread title that Misdee posted today.

I love the 'heads shoulders knees and cervix knees and cervix' from hunkermunker - I know it is old but I love love love it and snigger when i think of it - god help me if I ever have to sing that song again!!!

By iCod on Mon 26-Mar-07 19:03:32

''i am soft and muted ''

Long and great from "Am I the only one who worries..." in "Other subjects"

By mytwopenceworth on Wed 28-Mar-07 09:07:46
will result in a nation of brats??

what are you on about....we already have a nation of brats!

bratty kids who tantrum and scream and always get their own way while mummy makes excuses for likkle dahlings bad behaviour

becoming

out of control teenagers who hurl abuse at passers by and have more drugs about them than a branch of Lloyds (pharmacy, not bank!)

becoming

20somethings who still live at home, paying no meaningful board and saying they cant leave home because they cant afford to.......... buy a house, furnish it with the best, brand new stuff, shop at waitrose, have a car and still have enough cash to buy designer clothes and go out every night). leave home and make do, make your own way in the world you leeching brat!

becoming

30somethings with kids who demand their parents babysit constantly as it's their DUTY and frown when parents buy something because when your mum and dad hit 50, everything in their bank account becomes Your Inheritance and they have to go around in rags, get about on roller skates and holiday in the back yard with their own private paddling pool, lest they S.K.I.

becoming

40somethings who think they are 20 in their miniskirts / tight leather trousers and evenings strutting their funky stuff down the nightclub, under the terrible delusion they can pull a 25 yr old.

This from Marina on the thread in "In the News" about the girl sueing her landlord for not telling her not to dance on the roof when drunk:

"I think everyone should be warned that laminating their arses is likely to lead to burns, and using the shredder for a speed manicure is a very bad idea"

Or should that be "suing"? I never know ...

Message withdrawn

Oh, just seen this from Dominiconnor, on this thread , regarding damage to house/toys etc by visiting children - "We've just gone with the flow, and written everything off below the one metre line."

Another one from Megglevache, from the same thread as linked below...

"To top it all off now we appear to have caught dh's nasty mancold(see what pretending to have a cervix does to you?) so we are in clean pyjamas/fresh duvet on the couch watching rubbish telly and cuddling- still beats the hospital any day of the week."

I think it should go to JustineMumsnet on various threads "no"

and on another very rare outing "yes"

I vote for Moomin's startlingly vivid re-creation of the 70s after watching Life on Mars on this thread :

"I suddenly got a hankering for a brute of a man (i.e. Gene Hunt) to come back stinking drunk at the end of a night at the club, stinking of double diamond and fags... I'll have been watching the Generation Game earlier on, then Parkinson and I'll just be thinking about taking my girdle off and going to bed when he comes home and he ends up having his wicked way with me halfway up the stairs with his trousers round his thighs as he can't even be arsed taking them off."

I vote for zippitippitoes on Why is dh being miserable cos i go to Ministry of Sound at weekends? for pointing out to blahblahwhatsupnow that she won't get to be a dj just by going clubbing, with the line..

'i don't think anything comes by osmosis so just lurking near a dj won't do'