Trigger warnings

[TheDisillusionedAnarchist]

I was wondering why there are trigger warnings on posts mentioning child deaths.

Are they there at the request of the OP? Or was there some kind of agreement among the bereaved parents of mumsnet that they wanted them? If so okay I guess I missed it.

I have to say if not I find it quite offensive. I find a lot of things 'triggering' on mumsnet not least threads about living babies but I don't get trigger warnings. I've seen them even when the thread title is quite clear. What are they for? Why are they there?

I agree with Alora 100%. Titles need to be clearer. I would prefer a title to be altered, over a label.

I don't believe it is fair to isolate those who want to share their experiences by negatively labelling them a 'trigger'. If you come to a parenting/relationship site, you should expect to be exposed to all experiences, and if you don't wish to be exposed to certain topics, hide the thread or just don't read through it.

I'm pregnant and when I see miscarriage/stillbirth threads, I don't ask for them to be censored to suppress my own anxieties. I accept that these things can and do happen and believe it is the right thing to allow people to openly discuss it.

Surely it is about the number of people who are also likely to be affected by a subject which determines when it is sensible to add a trigger warning or not. So child death, rape, dv for example is likely to upset many more people than a debate about weaning or GCSE choices (for example).

Well if the title is changed it has to be done with the agreement of the poster themselves. IMO the way things are done now, it almost comes across as saying "well we shouldn't really be talking about this...here" and it does seem when people see a warning they are less inclined to read or respond, on the off chance they are upset by it.

I don't think there should be any warnings, unless there are graphic images for example. But I can't see the current approach being changed anytime soon.

phequer I wouldn't want you to open my thread if it upsets you. I just mentioned that threads get less response with a trigger.
I don't know what the answer is

I don't like trigger warnings. I don't want life, whether real or virtual, sanitised. It's a normal human reaction to be upset or disturbed by some of the awful stuff which happens to people and communities. 'Words on a screen' can have a profound effect. Child death is upsetting, but it is part of life. It's right to be upset. Parents like the OP shouldn't be expected to be filtered behind warnings to talk about their experience.

I was trying to think of a way to word how I feel about this.

You have just said it perfectly. If I was a bereaved parent I think I would feel awful to have a trigger warning on my thread title.

Sometimes feeling devastated after a thread puts you back in a difficult place and can unbearable ime.

Yes of course I have empathy and I'm sorry if what I said has upset you. I know the feeling of having my heart ripped out. As I said it never goes away. I still have counselling and have to take ads so I know I really do.
What I don't know is the answer.

Oh God yes I spent all last night like that

• because something on here had upset me.

DA It hasn't been long at all since your gorgeous Rumer died, please be kind to yourself.

Phequer - I don't like reading about stillbirths, I don't like reading about things that remind me of my previous pregnancy which was filled with trauma up to the very end. But if I come across those types of threads, I don't read them. Nor do I navigate myself towards any area of the site which will trigger upset and anxiety.

That said, I believe people should have a right to share their story whatever it may be, without feeling excluded from doing so, or as if they are doing the 'wrong' thing. I guess it's just a matter of opinion.

I don't think there should be any warnings, unless there are graphic images for example.

So we remove ALL warnings. Except these ones. No, sorry, how does that work. If you're arguing for them all to be removed then they should all be removed.