Trigger warnings

[TheDisillusionedAnarchist]

I was wondering why there are trigger warnings on posts mentioning child deaths.

Are they there at the request of the OP? Or was there some kind of agreement among the bereaved parents of mumsnet that they wanted them? If so okay I guess I missed it.

I have to say if not I find it quite offensive. I find a lot of things 'triggering' on mumsnet not least threads about living babies but I don't get trigger warnings. I've seen them even when the thread title is quite clear. What are they for? Why are they there?

I even would be happy if a group of bereaved parents had said they wanted this and this is why they were introduced which is why I'm asking for clarification

Ok, silly example. If I was on a website that was for car enthusiasts for example then I would expect that most of the threads would be about cars. If broken pistons were a known trigger for many people then I would expect a trigger warning on it. I have just found out that my car has an oil leak, which devastates me.
I wouldn't expect trigger warnings on all threads that discuss cars without piston problems. I wouldn't expect trigger warnings on threads discussing oil leaks (even though I'm currently devastated about it). I would expect trigger warnings on threads regarding pistons because it's a common trigger.

Clearly I know virtually fuck all about cars. This isn't meant to be trivial bit a comparison.

Ok I don't think I'm irrational? Why do you? Admittedly it's 3.00am and I should probably be sleeping but this has been bugging me for a while and it's just I have more courage at 3.00 to post. I'm not sure why you think I need to talk to someone, I really feel relatively fine.

Ok I may be tired but not sure your example makes much sense.

However as another analogy. This is a site for parents (although a lot of non parents are here too) I expect discussion on the broad range of parenting experiences including non sleeping babies, difficult toddlers, teen troubles, pregnancy niggles and child death. I don't think any of these need trigger warnings they are expected topics. However if a thread about say a beheading in the news is posted then fine trigger warning away, it's not in the expected topic range and it's pretty gruesome some will want to avoid.

At the moment by trigger warning child death threads you imply that topic is out of the normal range of parenting experiences which it isn't.

With all the whinging about teams threads on here I doubt a trigger warning would be just for you...

But my point was that trigger warnings are put on child death threads even when the thread title is completely clear. Why?

Teams=trans

And they aren't put there by the OP either. So why are they there? As I said I may have missed a consensus of bereaved parents saying they wanted them in which case fine.

As I said I may have missed a consensus of bereaved parents saying they wanted them in which case fine.

This could easily be the case. Remember that no-one can edit on mumsnet, so it will ALWAYS be mumsnet HQ that add in the warning, unless the OP included it originally.

Honestly, it's bugging me. I can see the point that it's a kindness to bereaved parents but so would be putting warnings on all live baby threads outside parenting topics. It would be a kindness to those who miscarry to put warnings on all pregnancy threads outside the pregnancy topic but we don't.

Why is child death different? If bereaved parents chose this, then fine. I don't agree but I understand but if it is a decision made on their behalf I think it reflective of the overall avoidant attitude towards child death.

I'm sorry you think I'm being aggressive but I really don't see it. Persistent maybe. Possibly we just disagree.

I guess it's a majority decision type thing. If the majority were/are of the same opinion as you then it would presumably be implemented.

However, I still think it's completely unrealistic to expect a trigger warning on every live child thread. You obviously don't. We'll have to respectfully disagree.

No I don't really need to. I wrote a long thread while pregnant with her and finished it when she died at three months. That was enough.

This bugs me so I wanted clarification as to why. Consensus of bereaved parents, fine though I'll remain mystified as to why on threads with clear titles.

I don't actually want a trigger warning on every live child thread. I agree it would be ridiculous. I just want them off child death threads unless there was indeed a consensus among bereaved parents and that's why it was introduced.

I couldn't post about my daughter on here if any such post would have trigger warning all over it.Regardless of thread title. It would be hurtful and offensive to me. Of course for all I know MNHQ checks with the OP before adding the warning. Hopefully they will come and clarify at some point.

I know I found trigger warnings about still birth helpful from about 7 months. I knew it was possibility but I needed to shield myself during the later parts of pregnacy

@TheDisillusionedAnarchist

I was wondering why there are trigger warnings on posts mentioning child deaths.

Are they there at the request of the OP? Or was there some kind of agreement among the bereaved parents of mumsnet that they wanted them? If so okay I guess I missed it.

I have to say if not I find it quite offensive. I find a lot of things 'triggering' on mumsnet not least threads about living babies but I don't get trigger warnings. I've seen them even when the thread title is quite clear. What are they for? Why are they there?

Please be assured that at MNHQ we are aware how difficult life can be for bereaved parents, and our raison d'être is to make lives easier.

We only ever add this kind of warning following a request to do so, whether it's on a thread about bereavement, DV, rape or something else such as eating disorders.

We tend to add them pretty much whenever we have been asked for them, as if it's affected one MNer it could affect more.

We hope you understand.

Thanks
Sending so much peace and love to you, OP
MNHQ

Thank you. If I find a thread about babies or pregnancy triggering then can I report in order to add a warning? Didn't realise it was an option before.

Obviously only if they're out of an obvious topic I agre if I wander into ' pregnancy' or 'parenting' I need to take my chances.

MNHQ asked me about a trigger warning as my thread could be very very upsetting to others, so I agreed as it is never my intention to upset anyone. Posters see the trigger and in my case description of the thread contents and then can decide for themseves if they want to read it or not.
This hasn't been a problem for me