Trigger warnings

[TheDisillusionedAnarchist]

I was wondering why there are trigger warnings on posts mentioning child deaths.

Are they there at the request of the OP? Or was there some kind of agreement among the bereaved parents of mumsnet that they wanted them? If so okay I guess I missed it.

I have to say if not I find it quite offensive. I find a lot of things 'triggering' on mumsnet not least threads about living babies but I don't get trigger warnings. I've seen them even when the thread title is quite clear. What are they for? Why are they there?

I'm kind of with OP.

Trigger warnings have gone mad. As a PP said either every thread should have a trigger warning, or none. Everybody could be "triggered" by something.

This is quite a good read:
www.newstatesman.com/sci-tech/2013/01/why-i-dont-agree-trigger-warnings

The way I see it is that absolutely anything posted here has the potential to be 'triggering' for someone.

For the OP, threads about infant feeding or sleepless babies are upsetting.

For another PP, threads about infant loss are upsetting.

For me, the words 'anyone with half a brain' are triggering and upsetting because my child died of a brain malformation that meant she had little brain tissue.

For another PP, a thread about spiders might be triggering and upsetting - in days gone by I vaguely recall that spiders were referred to as loofahs to avoid triggering those with severe arachnophobia.

So many things are triggering and upsetting for so many different people that potentially there could end up being trigger warnings on every single thread.

Clearer thread titles and less fuss about those clear thread titles would be preferable in my eyes and I totally understand where the OP is coming from

Prequer - I wasn't saying that . I was merely trying to help see the OP's point of view.

I have empathy for your experience but where is your empathy for mine? Some days I can't handle a thread on breastfeeding, on 3mo development, on starting solids? If you get a trigger warning why don't I? Are your sensitivities more important.

This is a very very good point. A major problems with trigger warnings is that they create a hierarchy - why does^ MN think OPs problems with threads about young babies are less than those who have problems with threads concerning dead babies? How can MNHQ possibly decide that the OPs grief at such threads is lesser?

Good article itsallgoingtobefime

This thread is just going around in circles.

I don't think people will ever agree as grief is so very personal in every individual case so what triggers me won't necessarily trigger others as has become obvious on this thread.

I'm so sorry for your loss Phequer
I'm sorry for everyone on here who has suffered the death of a child,it's soul destroying.

Completely understand what your saying OP. It's used as a cloak the site can hide "bad things" such as child death under. We can avert our eyes and pretend it doesn't happen. Clearer thread titles all round would help I think.

As for the people kindly suggesting the OP is somehow not knowing how they're feeling or needs "help" ffs stop.

I agree with you OP.

And OP I'm sorry for your loss

Great lets get rid of trigger warnings full stop then.

Or accept them on every thread who is harmed with a thread says (Trigger warning:contains discussion of babies) or whatever

I feel I have to say once a trigger is put on there are very few responses compared to pre trigger.

And that sugar is the best argument for getting rid of them.

I'm still not actually clear what MNHQ policy is since they have given two different policies on one thread. If their policy is the second I am frankly disgusted with them. It is grossly offensive and means I and others I know can never share about our children on here. Hopefully they will come on and clarify.

No it means the feelings of the person going through the experience is more important than anyone else's feelings. If the thread title is not clear then fine MNHQ can reword it so those who want to avoid the subject can.

But huge trigger warnings are offensive unless applied equally to all triggering subjects.

@TheDisillusionedAnarchist

And that sugar is the best argument for getting rid of them.

I'm still not actually clear what MNHQ policy is since they have given two different policies on one thread. If their policy is the second I am frankly disgusted with them. It is grossly offensive and means I and others I know can never share about our children on here. Hopefully they will come on and clarify.

Hi there
Apologies if we have been less than clear here.

We really hope that you aren't disgusted with us - we work very hard to ensure that we read every single report that comes in and try and apply our guidelines and indeed the spirit of Mumsnet to each of them,

We react to each request to apply a trigger warning on a case by case basis - that said we don't want to upset anyone and so usually if we've had a request, and we can see why it would be distressing to someone we would edit/amend a thread title.

Of course we would prefer if people were clear in their thread titles etc but we understand that people are often more interested in getting their post up asap.

Kindest wishes to you OP - so sorry about the loss of your DD
OliviaMN

Though this thread it getting circular so guess I'll wait for MNHQ to clarify their policy.

I can understand that my thread with the trigger is detailing my dds death so obviously posters will be upset at a childs death. None moreover than the Parent. Now there have been threads about meningitis vaccine that I have found upsetting because dd died from that illness.
However I have been very involved with the meningitis petition, so have put up with a lot of erm things. If those threads had a trigger on them how would I have got the brilliant responses.
Not really sure what the answer is.

Sorry Xposr. Thanks Olivia, so to clarify if I come across an unclearly titled thread in a general area that mentions say poorly sleeping babies you would be willing to apply a trigger warning?

I promise I have no intention of reporting threads in relevant topics. My issue if I click on them or threads where the topic is relevant in the title. Infact apart from this thread I can't remember when I last reported a thread

No phequr I never suggested you have. It would be unreasonable for me though to suggest a thread about your son needed a trigger warning because I have lost my daughter. It's your thread it's not about me. If I can't handle it right now then I can hope the title makes the subject clear or if not then I will have to leave it once I figure out the subject.