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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

I thought you were better than this MNHQ

69 replies

MissyMistress402 · 27/04/2015 20:21

Deleting a suicidal womans thread.

'We don't allow this kind of thread on MN'

Please do go into the whys of this as I am shocked and appalled that you pressed your big red button.

If that was genuine and she dies, her blood is on your hands. Shame shame shame on you!

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 27/04/2015 20:35

You haven't apologised for the last (but one) sentence. You said it "might be extreme".

wannaBe · 27/04/2015 20:35

there is a long history of discussion about this, and the policy has been implemented after discussion with e.g. the Samaritans and other mh organisations.

It is absolutely not appropriate to allow suicide threads to stand for many reasons.

We cannot be sure that the poster is genuine.

There are many, many other posters on mn with mh issues who may themselves find these types of threads triggering and harmful to their own mental health.

We are none of us professionals in dealing with mh issues, and are not equipped to deal with someone who claims that they are about to commit suicide.

if the poster killed themselves after having posted on mn,
you run the risk that posters who had given support to that poster would feel that they were somehow responsible.

There are multiple other reasons why it is not appropriate for suicide threads to be allowed to stand.

Ubik1 · 27/04/2015 20:36

It's not just about someone having thoughts of suicide. It's the safety of other people too - does the person have children in the house? What are they planning? Could this cause harm to other people?

Trained people will ask these sort of questions and more depending on the service contacted and their training.

PurpleDaisies · 27/04/2015 20:36

Cross posted op-can see you have now apologised which is good. We all make mistakes in the heat of the moment.

TakeYourFinalPosition · 27/04/2015 20:36

What if someone doesn't talk her down? What if they try to help but make it worse? What if they say something that finalises it for her?

People who post here aren't qualified, they don't know what to say. They can't track her IP as they talk to her, they can't send help fast enough.

It's not as simple as saying that if the OP commits suicide, it's because the thread couldn't stand. It could well be that if the thread stands, it'll cause the OP to commit suicide.

ImperialBlether · 27/04/2015 20:38

You only have to look at any thread seeking help or advice to see that some advice, however wellmeaning, is absolutely wrong. You can also see that some posters bully, shame, mock and berate others for no other reason than their own strange pleasures.

We are not experts. We can listen and give advice if someone is feeling awful but if they are at the point of suicide they need professional help and support. The last thing they need is some well meaning or otherwise person making them feel worse.

Viviennemary · 27/04/2015 20:43

I didn't see this particular thread but have seen others. And I think the policy is right that the thread should be deleted. And I agree the OP's comment was totally out of order.

LuisSuarezTeeth · 27/04/2015 20:44

MNHQ have invested a lot of time in concluding a policy on this. A deleted thread is not always for a "bad" reason OP.

I can appreciate why you feel the way you do though, and how it might seem.

I hope the lady gets the help she needs and you can feel a bit better yourself. Hugs to all Flowers

TheOrchardKeeper · 27/04/2015 20:44

I've posted before when actively suicidal and whilst in hospital for it and got lots of good help. MN was good for helping me gather my thoughts and having other people who aren't blinded by crippling MH issues saying "get some damn help woman". I even discussed it several times but never methods. The closest it came was saying I felt if I didn't get help I likely would but they still let it stand as it didn't quite cross their boundaries/rules so I do think they police it in the right way and I'm also very aware that no one on here can get you help, they can only virtually hold your hand whilst you do it. I do actually get very cross with people suggesting the Samaritans but that's because if you're seriously unwell they can't do anything for you or access the help you need, that's down to your local crisis team/MH team but people mean well when they suggest it!

FenellaFellorick · 27/04/2015 20:46

I absolutely support MNs stance on this.
They sought advice from professionals, thought long and hard and decided on this.
It isn't callous to direct people to placed they can best get help.
Past threads have been deeply deeply distressing and this is why they designed this policy.
People who know bugger all can do a LOT of damage, even when they may be trying to help.

LuisSuarezTeeth · 27/04/2015 20:48

There will always be support OP but lines need to be drawn where it becomes a "live" thread (sorry for the crass term) for that person's best interest. It's the only responsible thing to do.

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 27/04/2015 20:50

Didn't see the thread but agree with MNHQ's stance.

I have seen threads like that where obviously well meaning posters have said things like "think of your children" completely oblivious to the fact that sometimes a suicidal person thinks that their suicide IS the best thing for their children. This is very close to my heart.

Bowlersarm · 27/04/2015 20:51

I agree with mnhq. It's the responsible thing to do.

And you haven't apologised for that sentence, OP.

CamelHump · 27/04/2015 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Justusemyname · 27/04/2015 20:52

You haven't apologised, OP.

MNHQ are in a difficult position. Given the Samaritans advise deletion you have a cheek stamping your feet and saying they are wrong.

ClashCityRocker · 27/04/2015 20:53

I also agree the policy is absolutely right.

PurpleDaisies · 27/04/2015 20:58

I rescind my well done for apologising...you haven't! Saying you have already apologised only works if you havd actually done it, not made a politician's non-apology apology by terming your sentence "extreme" as if that justifies it.

IrenetheQuaint · 27/04/2015 21:08

The hysteria generated on MN by posters who said they were actively suicidal was really horrible. It did no one any good, least of all the OP.

Original poster
MissyMistress402 · 27/04/2015 21:08

I thought I'd put my sorry at the end I see I was mistaken.

Sorry for being abrupt
Sorry for over reacting
and sorry for leaving out the apologetic section of the apology.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 27/04/2015 21:09

Last part might be extreme but what if she is genuine and needs help!

This is NOT an apology!

DoTheDuckFace · 27/04/2015 21:09

Bang pitiful order Op. Mumsnet have made a very difficult decision and absolutely the right one for all of the reasons already said.

Original poster
MissyMistress402 · 27/04/2015 21:10

See my most recent post, Imperial.

Further further apologies. [embarrassed]

OP posts:
Original poster
MissyMistress402 · 27/04/2015 21:11

I can see the point very clearly now. Once again sorry for the extremity I went to.

OP posts:
emotionsecho · 27/04/2015 21:12

In addition to the already well made points by other posters as to why MNHQ came to the decision they did re these type of threads, OP:

How do you know that the person posting is genuine?

How do you know that those offering support or advice are genuine?

Do you think it's acceptable to let these threads run when there is a chance that some people are merely feeding off the drama and hence trying to keep the thread going for their own amusement?

Allowing threads such as the one you describe could cause emotional harm to other posters, is that right or fair?

MNHQ's policy is absolutely correct and your hysterical "blood on their hands" comment is disgraceful.

coconutty · 27/04/2015 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.