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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

I thought you were better than this MNHQ

69 replies

MissyMistress402 · 27/04/2015 20:21

Deleting a suicidal womans thread.

'We don't allow this kind of thread on MN'

Please do go into the whys of this as I am shocked and appalled that you pressed your big red button.

If that was genuine and she dies, her blood is on your hands. Shame shame shame on you!

OP posts:
Original poster
MissyMistress402 · 27/04/2015 20:23

Last part might be extreme but what if she is genuine and needs help!

OP posts:
BIWI · 27/04/2015 20:24

There's a whole history about threads like this. It's a very difficult and complex area for MN. But they made their decision after a lot of consideration and consultation.

MangoJuggler · 27/04/2015 20:24

Missy there is a very clear policy on this, will link.

parsnipbob · 27/04/2015 20:24

I agree, I think this was really dreadful.

Original poster
MissyMistress402 · 27/04/2015 20:24

But for people to reach out like this and be shunned? What kind of message does it send.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 27/04/2015 20:25

This was discussed a while ago, wasn't it?

MNHQ decided that we wouldn't have threads where people were threatening suicide - it was too hard to know who was serious and it was asking too much of people on the boards. There have been threads in the past where people have wanted to go to someone's house to help them - MNHQ can't put us at that kind of risk.

To say that if a suicidal woman dies, her blood is on their hands is absolutely disgraceful. It's not true and it's totally inflammatory.

Original poster
MissyMistress402 · 27/04/2015 20:26

Mango Not to sound like a petulant child but it is NOT FAIR. People turn to MN every day in all situations for support. Suicidal feelings should be included. I myself have been in a scenario where I have had suicidal thoughts, I am better now (mostly) but still would be nice to know I can receive support here.

OP posts:
Ubik1 · 27/04/2015 20:27

Suicidal people need serious and urgent help from trained professionals not well meaning randoms on an Internet forum.
That person should seek medical help.

Blood is on no one's hands. FGS get a grip of yourself.

FireCanal · 27/04/2015 20:27

It's been debated at length with advice from The Samaritans amongst others. For what it's worth I think the policy is correct.

ThatBloodyWoman · 27/04/2015 20:27

I imagine hq would message her with links to the Samaritans?
I hope so.

BareGorillas · 27/04/2015 20:27

Who here is qualified to talk someone down? How would we know?

Very easy to say the wrong thing in these circumstances, no one wants that responsibility on their shoulders.

CornwallsFinest · 27/04/2015 20:27

There is a rationale behind MNHQs decision about suicidal threads and your last sentence is completely out of order.

MangoJuggler · 27/04/2015 20:28

IonaMumsnet post near the bottom refers

Ubik1 · 27/04/2015 20:28

I hope people advised that lady to call Samaritans or OOH.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 27/04/2015 20:28

There were several whys and wherefores about this threads at the time they were trying to decide what the policy should be. They also sought professional advice from the samaritans about how those threads should be dealt with.

Accusing MN of having blood on their hands is unecessary and completely unfair.

Original poster
MissyMistress402 · 27/04/2015 20:28

Yes cornwall and I have apologised for the last sentence, no need to try and use it as a stick to beat me with.

OP posts:
CornwallsFinest · 27/04/2015 20:29

*last sentence in your OP sorry, not very clear there.

Toooldtobearsed · 27/04/2015 20:30

MNHQ are between a rock and a hard place, and do what is best in everyone's interest.
I appreciate that you feel you might be able to support this woman, but do you really know what you are doing? Isn't it possible you might say the wrong thing, inadvertently, and push her even further down the line?
Then whose hands would the blood be on?

Sorry, I do think that MN is wonderfully supportive, but not in these instances, no matter how well intentioned.

PeaceOfWildThings · 27/04/2015 20:32

MNHQ always advise to call the Samaritans and provide the phone number and a lunk to their advi e pages for further help.

The Samaritans do now take online contact and it would be far better if they were to deal with the situation they are trained for, prepared for and supported both, personally and professionally, to do.

NightsOfGethsemane · 27/04/2015 20:32

Suicidal people need serious and urgent help from trained professionals not well meaning randoms on an Internet forum.

^This. The issue has been debated at length on MN and I believe HQ took advice from professionals before agreeing their stance. I agree with them. Somebody who has taken an overdose needs urgent help from trained professionals. Random MNs - however well meaning - are not qualified to help in this situation and may make things worse.

MangoJuggler · 27/04/2015 20:33

From the linked thread, for clarity, this is Mumsnet's stance:

"So we've spoken to Mind and the Samaritans about this and they both suggest that we continue to allow threads in which users talk about feeling very low and having suicidal thoughts but remove threads that are clear statements of intent ('I am going to kill myself'), suicide notes, 'live' suicide threads. ('I have taken an overdose and am waiting for it to take effect'), or anything that involves a description of methods.

Looking at the this thread, this chimes with what the majority of Mumsnetters want us to do also, so henceforth that's what we'll do.

In cases in which we remove threads, we will post to explain to the OP that we are going to delete it, and signpost the Samaritans; PM the OP (supportively, obviously) to signpost the Samaritans; and explain our actions in the deletion message.

In cases where we leave the thread up (the feeling low threads) we will post links to our mental health webguide and to the Samaritans' online and telephone support.

We know there are some who feel extremely strongly that threads that express suicidal intent should be allowed to stand, and we do understand your reasons, but the consensus was so strong on this one - from both MNers and from experts in the field - that it really did feel there was only one way forward."

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 27/04/2015 20:33

I agree that MN isn't an appropriate place for support in these circumstances, you have no idea who the people are that are advising you at a time when you need professional help. It can also put too much strain emotionally on those who get involved, if the worst happened then it doesn't bear thinking about how much impact that would have on those who tried to help.

HermioneWeasley · 27/04/2015 20:34

MNHQ's policy on this is spot on and carefully considered. Your email comes across as hysterical.

PurpleDaisies · 27/04/2015 20:34

Agree with others who've said mnhq are absolutely right to have deleted the thread. Really sad the poster is in difficulties but the Samaritans are fantastic and most importantly are trained to deal with people in this sort of situation. Really hope she calls them.

There are also rules for the media regarding the reporting of suicides so as not to set of a spate of copy cats. I don't know if this was part of mnhq's thinking but certainly online media outlets and newspapers have to be really careful.

Your comment about "blood on your hands" op is completely unjustified and I hope you can take a step back and realise how dreadful it is. There is a real person making those thread deletion decisions and if that were me I'd be really upset.

CornwallsFinest · 27/04/2015 20:34

No apology that I can see - last part might be extreme certainly isn't one!

Besides the point, this has been discussed before, MNHQ made their decision with the help of external organisations for very good reasons. No one likes to see a person on the verge of suicide but posters could cause more damage than good without realising it.

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