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Original poster

Mumsnet mafia ??!!!

256 replies

charlyp · 09/10/2006 16:28

Am a really new poster to Mumsnet having just found out I am pregnant for the first time EDD June 1st, have been surfing the site and making a few posts but have been very surprised by the amount of vitriol in some of the posts on certain subjects, and am amazed about people outing other people and everyone seems to know everyone elses business - more than you might expect on a forum? How does that work?? Is there like a bunch of people who all live in the same road or something? Just wondering as on most forums I post on there are lots of people sharing views but it rarely gets that personal inn terms of people getting to know other people off line. Made me wonder if there is a Mumsnet mafia in place!! Makes me alightly concerned about posting my thoughts and feelings about the things that are happening to me and about how my privacy will be respected.

OP posts:
FioFio · 09/10/2006 16:30

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lockets · 09/10/2006 16:31

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expatinscotland · 09/10/2006 16:31

PARP!

This is a public forum, as are many sites on the www.

That being the case, it may be wise not to post things you wouldn't want broadcast on the www and expect total strangers to respect your privacy.

Harsh?

Yes, but that is the nature of the www.

Rhubarb · 09/10/2006 16:32

It's a good question charlyp but I don't think this is a problem exclusive to Mumsnet. You know those people that you meet and you tell them something about yourself? Then you hear that secret being repeated back to you? It's a lifelong problem huh? Those kinds of people are here on Mumsnet too and all you can do is to be wary.

To be honest, unless you are involved in some kind of scandal they aren't really interested! But don't let it put you off Mumsnet, there have been some very good example of the kindness of Mumsnet in recent months, there is a great pit of human kindness here and the spoilers are in the minority, so come on board and welcome!

Munz · 09/10/2006 16:32

charley - I think tbh it's down to most ppl either going to the meet ups and knowing each other that way, or a lot of posters know each other thru sheer time posting that's all, no mafia or anything u just get to know posters after a while - bit like pen friends I suppose.

for example, those on my post natal thread IO talk to a lot and 'know' so chat to them on other threads.

expatinscotland · 09/10/2006 16:32

I do not expect strangers to respect me at all, therefore it goes to follow I would not broadcast things on a public webspace that I'd not be comfortable shouting out in the street.

luckybat · 09/10/2006 16:33

am I missing the threads? you are the second person to say this today...what threads are you reading to make you think there is a Mafia????

zippitippitoes · 09/10/2006 16:33

don't post anything in a public forum that you feel uncomfortable anbout dislcoing, it's not like your front room!

I live nextdoor to fio by the way, but her house is taller than mine!

Rhubarb · 09/10/2006 16:33

And expat that was rather rude, if I had been a newbie I would be put off by that, her concerns are real.

expatinscotland · 09/10/2006 16:33

I live in Albert Square.

Boronation Street's lame.

niceglasses · 09/10/2006 16:33

Think you picked a bad weekend - give it a bit longer and look at all the threads where pple are asking/giving advice. I think you are concentrating on too small a number of threads.

WideWebWitch · 09/10/2006 16:36

This is the WWW, there is no privacy! Anyone with connection to the internet can read anything anyone posts here.

I don't think people know everyone's business, it's too large a site for that.

expatinscotland · 09/10/2006 16:36

That's my style, Rhu. I wasn't one of those people who 'outed' or whatever, but you get those types.

So hey, that's how it works online.

If you think that's rude, imagine how you'd feel to be 'outed', as happened recently.

JessaJackOLantern · 09/10/2006 16:37

You are right. Mumsnet is not a 'fluffy' forum like some pregnancy/parenthood ones can be. The posters on here can be frank, bitchy and obstreperous. They can also be immensely kind, intelligent and supportive.
There are 'hot' topics, that usually bring out strong opinions (breastfeeding, baby food, routines,names) so if you don't feel up to arguing your point, avoid posting.

You post anonymously so your privacy is automatic!(if you tell everyone your name and address in a post however, this can't be guaranteed!)

Just dive in! If you like it stick around.

luckybat · 09/10/2006 16:37

Ah...I have found a thread that might make you think that....please don't be put off....its really a good site...try to concentrate on the threads that are of interest to you.

Rhubarb · 09/10/2006 16:37

Unfortunately it's the bad threads that seem to attract the attention, like a bad car crash, and no-one seems to pay any attention to the good threads where Mumsnetters have gone out of their way for each other. Right now there is a mum without hot water or heating and Mumsnetters are busy trying to find her a plumber to fix her boiler, or investigate grants she could apply for.

Another example is of Mumsnetters dipping into their own pockets to help a MNer whose dh needs a transplant.

JessaJackOLantern · 09/10/2006 16:37

Blimey! I took too long tp type that response didn't i! There were no replies whenI started!!!!!

FioFio · 09/10/2006 16:38

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Original poster
charlyp · 09/10/2006 16:38

guess thats good advice about not posting anything too personal - its just stuff about pregnancy is quite personal and i guess mre information than you might normally share with someone you don't know very well. At the moment haven't told many people about pregnancy so this is one way for me to talk to people about it (which i want to do as its pretty exciting!!!), but with people who don't know me, so if it all goes tits up I don't have tooo many explanantions to make in my real life, if you know what I mean.

Hadn't thought about meet ups but I guess I can see that that would make it easier for people to get to know each other.

Threads that made me think about it were full on exchanges between people who all seemed to know each other and were speculating about who someone else was... I expect you know what am talking about ..... maybe it was just a baptism of fire and its not normally like that ?!

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 09/10/2006 16:38

expat

Trust me, if it had been me who was 'outed' there would be the hugest furore ever seen! You wouldn't like me when I'm angry!

FioFio · 09/10/2006 16:40

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ks · 09/10/2006 16:41

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JessaJackOLantern · 09/10/2006 16:42

you get to "know" people on MN quickly. I don't know any one from MN in real life (that I am aware of) but have been on MN since feb/march and 'know' some MNers to an extent (As in can predict their responses to some threads, spot their posting style etc ).
Again it's like real life, some people are naturally more familiar with people and seem to make 'friends' quickly, others (like me) are more reserved ( see also 'awkward')...

Munz · 09/10/2006 16:42

charey - I think the speculation was down to the OP posting so much personal stuff about herself previously, as others have said if u don't want to be tracked back to RL limit the personal info, also some ppl change names when they think they've been rumbled in RL.

luckybat · 09/10/2006 16:42

hmm thats the thread I thought you had seen...don't think that is the norm though