The threads about the "D"H and the 1000s of emails

[owlbegoing]

Both threads have disappeared from my threads I'm watching list.
Have they been deleted?
I hope the OP is ok

Evening all. Just wanted to say we're as disappointed as you when a thread, in which lots of MNers have invested a lot of thought and emotional energy, has to be pulled.

We can't go into working methods, as we might as well write the How to Troll manual, but we do our best to check that what you read on MN is posted in good faith. Often we get a heads up from a regular, so muchas gracias to all who report their suspicions. Working together we can hopefully keep this sort of thing down to a minimum.

Anyhow, time for cocoa

Gosh I am totally naive I can't believe this! So the whole thing was a complete fabrication? How are these trolls reprimanded for their behaviour?

Well done Ellen and co, & the 'reporters'

Thanks for the update, HQ. And yes, thanks to those who reported the thread.

Genuinely surprised. I read the whole of the original thread, although didnt comment, and felt utterly enraged and gutted on her behalf. So many lovely people offering support, too. How bloody dreadful.

EllenMumsnet - Do the trolls get banned? I hope so.

I was completely fooled until he was described as being half French and any hint of him being a bad sod was a slur on his dad. However I'm really pissed that it was a bridge dweller as I always see the best in people.

As usual, I believed the whole thing... I wonder if I'm this naive in RL... Perhaps people lie to me all the time and I don't realize it!

What?! Genuinely confused.
Must admit, hairy hands never crosses my mind until it's pointed out. Too bloody trusting.

I think the scriptwriting thing, the dozens of responses of posters sharing their experiences would give you a good steer on credible human emotions.

I wish I had reported it at the point I though I don't believe this, but I didn't register that as a course of action. Will do so in future.

Though I am minded to hide relationships for a bit. Thinking about the demise of my first marriage due to online OW and everything that happened thereafter does not take me to a good place, it has to be said!!

Romeyroo

Shocked that this was trolling.
Although I did wonder how the OP had enough time to keep posting, and to keep doing so despite some of the criticisms of her actions.
I know from experience that it is utterly exhausting to justify oneself and ones actions, whilst dealing with whatever it is, but I guess if it's all fiction in the first place...
:(

I have just been on " Relationships" and found myself not believing any of the stories anymore. That is the effect this has had. Like others have said, I think I will hide relationships.

I've just been on Relationships and I probably don't believe a third of them - but I guess you just have to ignore that and contribute if you can. It would be awful if someone came on truly needing help from that source and had no response at all.

The old maxim is to never give more of yourself than you can afford to lose entirely so I think I'll let that be my guide and hope that other posters' radar is better than mine.

I read it all, and the one difference to this thread and others was the fact that she kept posting so regularly. Normally, there are big gaps when someone is going through something like this, with pages and pages of everyone but the OP posting. In this case, she kept the momentum up. Also for some reason I just didn't feel comfortable posting on it, and I don't know why... sixth sense maybe (easy to say now...)

p.s. where is the other thread about this?

here

The thing is, the troll is probably reading this, still getting kicks, and getting tips on how to make him / her self appear more believable next time.

Possibly - and so be it.

Make your contribution, trying not to invest emotionally, and then let it go and head off for a cup of tea. I think that's all you can do. (Other than reporting if you smell a real big rat.)

Heh, that sentance should be posted at the top of relationships, cozie :) a good Troll Shield!

Cozie is right. There are hundreds of bullshit threads on here. The trick is to give only what you can afford to lose. Tell your story and share your experience if it doesn't leave you vulnerable. Even if it's a troll, other lurkers will be helped. Don't offer so much of yourself that you suffer for it.

This particular case is to MN what Katie Hopkins is to social commentary. Dull and ridiculous. Thankfully, it was all stopped before it became damaging in RL which is where it often ends up. Long time MNers will have seen how bad it can get.

I think 99% of the time the bored, regular long in the tooth Mners who call bullshit from page one aren't responding to the story but to how it is presented. I have no doubt that there are webcamming, cheating shits out there. Their wives probably aren't writing turgid and bland accounts of it online starting with phrases such as "imagine my surprise".

Thanks Beryl.

Ive been on 3 this week, my troll dar is suddenly shot to shit. I do think the longer youve been here and the more your on makes you better at spotting it.

I don't post on bereavement any more due to bastard trolls

Trolls post on bereavement?? Fucking shit. That's low.

Panad - I would be sad if you didn't post in Relationships any more. From what I've seen you make very sound comment! I recall thinking, when you appeared on XHotpot's thread, what a good, solid and clear poster you are!

I think the only thing any of us can ever do is be our compassionate selves, no matter what. Every time we try and offer advice we are thinking in genuine terms how problems might be solved, how stress, fear or inaction might be resolved and relieved ... all good stuff at a personal level and shared too!

It's all good, really albeit a little grumpifying at times, though, eh?

*wondering if I should ruffle my hair now ...

cozietoesie - exactly so ... give as you would normally do then go pour the wine/hot chocolate or whatever.