Do you think it's time to start a sexuality shaming topic?

[HotSauceCommittee]

For all those who want us to shut up and not to help and laugh with others about sex?

Maybe we could keep the censorious ness and the comments of "what is wrong with people?"

"This is pathetic"

"Why do you need/want to talk about this?"

I've seen no "twats", either metaphorical, or literal, on the sex threads, just coherent, strong argument in favour of discussion and some great humour at times.

I notice that the anti-sex brigade didn't answer some of the rebuttals and counter questions to their protests on the sex threads. Perhaps they'd care to elaborate on a special "Sexuality shaming" thread? Then they can get together some really good insults going and hopefully make the "sex positive" posters among us shut up and creep back into the woodwork.

Has it got legs, do you think?

I do take your point, Randall, I really do, but we all have different limits of what is acceptable. Others definitely disagree, but I have posted in a limiting of "gory details" way for me. This is too much for some, so we will always vary on the scale of acceptability.

I don't want the site riven with trolls, but I see far more attacks from posters who think they can decree what is and isn't a funny or acceptable sex thread, than there ever was from trolls.

As for the bloke in the pub and would you tell him to piss off, well it's all in the consent isn't it? And I could tell you a few stories about things like that, but that's an over share even for me. On this thread anyway.

If a stranger in the pub asked you to start sharing your sex stories, would you? Or would you tell him to piss off?

A stranger in a pub can see my face and maybe even no my name (if it's my local) so no I wouldn't. However I am anonymous here and nobody knows what I look like or who I am.
Not really a good comparison to have chosen.

If you could see a creepy looking man leering at you whilst you and your friends were having a laugh about sex would you carry on talking as if he wasn't there? Or would you tell him to piss off?

Of course but by the same token if a poster was making it obvious that they were wanking over what I was writing I would tell them to piss of and also report them.

It's not about stopping anyone on MN or anywhere else talking about sex. It's just about asking people to think, for one minute, about the motivation behind the thread before they dive in.

I agree but I don't think that it is the job of the MN police to come on to a thread and start making snide comments, eye rolling or telling people they are stupid. It is MNHQ job to put a warning about over sharing it is posters responsibility to report posts.

I don't want MN to become a laughing stock. I don't want it to stop being a great, open, supportive, funny, intelligent, sweary, adult place where you can ask anything about anything.

It is already a laughing stock due to Penis gate and the dogy thread MNHQ decided to tweet/FB about a couple of months ago.

I don't want that to be replaced by pervy PM's and wanking trolls.

A thread recently was started by a poster who received a PM asking her to send him her worn bras for £50 as long as they were above a DD cup. This was not prompted by a sex thread at the time but how many threads are there about bras and sizes of bras for big chests? Should these threads be censored also as they quite clearly attracted that bra perv.

Yes they will always be there, but we don't have to invite them in with open arms.

Nobody is inviting them in. But do you really believe that censoring a sex thread will keep them away?

I overshare about my sex life on the internet all the time, just not usually on mumsnet because I have a site that I can go to specifically for that purpose.
If I think that my vast sexual experience can be helpful to someone on here, then I would share.
Censuring people because they do things differently, to how you would do them,is never a nice or helpful thing to do.
And shouldn't mumsnet be, in one of it's aspects, a helpful and supportive place?
Differences in attitudes are precisely that, differences and don't make one persons attitude and beliefs better than anothers.

I don't know about this. I hate the idea that women feel they are being shamed for talking about sex but I find the more graphic sex threads deeply uncomfortable.

The idea is always in my head when I read them that the posters doing the sharing are over sharing and making themselves vulnerable in the way the OP of this thread has described.

There was a period of time just after penis breaker when it felt like the tweeting of the thread had actually damaged the site.

I have read lots of very funny sex threads but it seems like they were a long time ago.

I really don't know about this one. Sex is a very valid thing to discuss. I never would but accept that others want to. I just wish I could shake the feeling that some of these threads are not started with the best of intentions and that some posters are not considering this when posting very intimate details of their lives.

Belle could you PM me the site you recommend please?

I am sick of people saying what is funny, what isn't, what is acceptable, what isn't etc. Who the fuck are they to decide? Just don't look.

And the rest of us, according to them, are as thick as pig shit because we are not imagining all the hairy handed onanists shaking hot, white coconuts from the veiny love-tree. It's that arrogance that really twats me off

My "circumspect" is someone's else's over sharing. That's all.

I understand an uneasy feeling about a thread makes you want to protect those on it who appear to not see it and are happily giving out all their secrets. So given that wouldn't reporting the OP be the best course of action or asking MNHQ to post a 'Don't share more than you are happy to' warning on the thread?

The OP's upset was in regards to those that want to censor a sex thread by making unnecessary comments on it or those who blame sex threads for the downfall of MN because they feel it attracts sex trolls and perverts. When that just is not true.

I do report threads and have never posted a rude or abusive comment on any of these threads.

I have to say I disagree that some of the sex threads haven't damaged MN to a degree. However that is just my opinion.

I agree penis beaker wasn't great, but that's about it IMO.

If some hairy handed troll wants to get off to my sex stories he is welcome to. I can't see why anyone who is openly sharing an experience with a bunch of strangers would really care if some perv finds those typed words so erotic he wants to knock one out.

Warning someone not to over share is a good idea if they are in danger of outing themselves or they are offering money or physical help to someone without considering their own safety, but it does feel to censorious to try and silence sex threads in case they attract 'the wrong sort'. MN is already made up of all sorts, with no shortage of bunfights and differences of opinion.

Anyone who posts regularly is aware that they will be judged and that the person at the other end of the internet may not necessarily be a like-minded individual. They just don't see it as that important.

Obviously I'd rather my family and friends don't read about my DP spunking on my face, but do I care if a bunch of internet randoms know? No. Do I care if some trucker likes the idea so much he gets wood reading my post? No.

If there is a specific site for oversharing about sex on the internet that sounds great.

I have said it before that penis beaker caused most of the damage as it made MN public and not in a good way. Also I don't see 10 sex threads going on in active convos so it's not like there rife is it?
I see more threads about bust sizes/bras, periods, what do you call yours, and other fanjo related stuff than I do about sex.

The problem comes when a sex thread is advertised such as twitter or fb then this peaks folks interest and they have a look. Most sex threads will go unnoticed by the general public as why would they join a web site to trawl through it hoping to read something naughty when they can just search for a specific genre or read 50 shades.

Sparkling I thought you had boundaries

I have lost count of the threads I have hidden about hairy/not hairy fanjos and what names you have for them.

All information I am willing to share MrsM. Hence why I put it on a public forum.

But that does not take away from the fact that YOU cannot tell folk what they can and cannot put on here. It is not your job. If my behaviour leads to issues then that is my responsibility not yours. If you feel that the over sharers are getting in too deep then report to MNHQ and ask for a warning to be put on.

'I am anonymous here and nobody knows what I look like or who I am'

^This was in response to a question which you have now taken out of context to fit your argument.

You may know various bits of info but unless you know me in rl then it will be a little more difficult to find out my name or what I look like. But then again all that info is on my FB page so it is already out there again something I have chosen to do.

You are wanting to censor people and you cannot do that.

I have no desire to "make an exhibit" of myself. Joining in with sex chat threads does not an exhibitionist make.

Mrs who is it you are thinking of in relation to it being me?

Like I've said before, I don't and won't limit what I do and like doing because of some numpty who gets off on reading the crap I write on here.

And to be quite honest I don't think they majority of these 'trolls' are actually knocking one out, I think they're just taking the piss in general. I also think some people are doing it to rival penis beaker, but if its a good discussion and other people's contributions are amusing to me - I'm not bothered.

As long as people are aware that this is an open forum, anyone can read, then they should be able to make their own decisions in regards to what they post. And others can chose what they want to read.

I couldn't imagine oversharing about sex on here then going to a meet up.

But you'd happily talk about childbirth including torn fanjos and prolapses?

Or would that be another taboo?

Sparkling

Never talked about my fanjo on here I don't think. Not much to say.

I find all this really odd. I'm of the variety that does sit round a table in a bar with women friends, sharing various kinds of personal stuff. Sometimes this includes hilarious stories of sexystuff gone wrong.

Sometimes there is a group of men listening in. So fucking what? If they try to interfere, staff will remove them. No-one has the right to muscle in our our conversation; neither do we have the right to tell others what to listen to.

Sometimes, too, there's another group of women finding our conversation distasteful. They can move if they don't like what they're hearing, or we'd turn down the volume if asked. No-one has the right to tell us what we may talk & laugh about.

I agree with BOFster that Relationships wasn't the right board for the thread in question, but meh. Not all the threads in there are intense. It hasn't been overrun with frivolity, and I think the occasional thread like that probably is reassuring for many.

I was that poster, Mrs, but my point was, the "worst" happened and for me, I am more circumspect. Just not circumspect enough for some.

Sparkling, I have been on a MN meet up a couple of years ago. Someone from MN has been to my house and I've been and helped on her allotment

I might even go to the Liverpool meet up< brazen>. Just wanted to get you cringing for me.