There's a real problem on the SN boards

[GobbySadcase]

For a long time now I've been really saddened that I've not been able to post on the SN boards.

I took a brief foray into there when I was a newb years and years ago now and got my head bitten off because I have my own way of doing things with my children. I thought it would be a supportive, empathetic, inclusive place to be.

It happened at a time I was particularly fragile, so I retreated to the main boards thinking it was just me.

Having got to know some other parents who also have children with disabilities I discovered this was not the case. At least five others have left for the exact same reason.

Tonight I responded to a post which stated that I was somehow failing my children. The thread had been moved from a main board, I repeat I do not routinely go to the SN board due to the way posters have behaved to me there on three occasions now. In return I got a personal attack. Someone else backed me, they got further personal attacks.

Neither me or the others who have been attacked retaliated. We stated our views calmly and logically and got MEGA CAPITALS in return.

It seems to be becoming more and more nasty and confrontational on there as time goes on. My concern is that a parent undergoing the diagnostic process or with a newly diagnosed child is vulnerable, and as even saying you want to explore all options is a heinous crime on there may get attacked at a time that really isn't good for them.

I even specifically tell parents I know in RL not to go there, and why.

Thing is, what can be done?

Ha ha yes mothra that's him :)

I think subsections was something that they had to see if worked, but like all changes I do think that once implemented needs to be reviewed to see if it does make the improvement it was hoped and if not, to consider how to take it forwards. I don't think all sub sections should be removed but I have posted when i have needed help on so many occasions for my post to basically be ignored due to low traffic or because I rarely post on mn/regularly name change because people to not feel they can trust me because they don't know me. I am glad that people are finding the SN topic helpful but since the divisions I have found it is the one place I can't get help anymore because there seems to be as much as a need for a map to navigate it sucessfully as the fucking system that is causing the problems!!!!!

And i think yelling and shouting and arguing that they system works because Some have got it to work and help, doesnot change the fact that this is not the case for everyone. I don't think it is a case of Oh the posters on sn board are nasty/deliberately unhelpful. I think it is a case of a highly emotive topic where people are fragile and subdivision system that can be confusing. I will repeat, before the subdivisions I had some very good advice, but since the divisions and the trolling I have had problems.

OK - well we're very happy to listen to suggestions about how the sub-topics could work better/be pruned. But obvs you'd need (as a group, really) to come to a consensus about what you think would work better?

Would MNHQ be able to look at the stats for the SN boards, and then use them to see whether it would be worth keeping them?

x-posted there.

Also perhaps a thread in sn that targets the posters who have experience of how the boards work?

@coppertop

Would MNHQ be able to look at the stats for the SN boards, and then use them to see whether it would be worth keeping them?

Yes, we'll take a look and let you know which ones are busiest

'But obvs you'd need (as a group, really) to come to a consensus about what you think would work better?'

Next week on MN Academy...How to herd cats and plait clouds.
Sod the glass of wine icon, you are going to need a barrel.

Mothra good one

I don't think the subdivisions work. Only my personal opinion but I think one busy topic is better.

Ah right

I have to say that this thread has made me think twice before I'd go near a SN thread on here again.

All the belittling and denial of someone's experience just because it's not the same as someone else's. There have been some really insightful comments on here but most have been ignored as people are rising to the odd provocative comment, and seem want to squash down any dissent or discussion.

For a certain type of childrens disability, the board may be great. But wider than that, if people take pride in only offering practical help that they are experts in, and sneer at any emotional support, then the board will stay focused on one type of experience and one type of poster. I'm not saying that's wrong if that's what you want to do, but then be truthful about it.

As long as you don't demolish the pub. I think it's essential.

I like that threads in SN chat disappear. For a start, it means that I can have a really good rant without any chance of one of my offspring finding it and reading it in a few years time.

I do think a general SN board and SN chat is the way to go. I routinely check those two boards, since they're busy enough to be worth the special effort, but only spot anything else via active conversations, which means I'm most likely to completely miss them.

So keep chat and keep the pub... that is a good start for 2 subtopics. Considering how emotive it is would then an achieve be useful where by posters can request threads with specifically good advice to be moved. And just let the rest disappear into the ether. Might make the topic feel a bit 'safer' and counter some of the concern about over sharing that hangs about long term?