life time bans for ...

[PervCat]

anyone on a cliquey thread where they bold each others names

Anyone at all on baby names - just think of a fricking name ffs

Anyone who says greggs sausage rolls who wasn't here at the time

anyone whos says Mumsnet at its best

People who use Mumsnet jargon, took me ages to work some of those things out ( IYSWIM)

carefully writes "People who dont care"

Anyone who writes something along the lines of, "sorry to hear about your piles, op. By the way, how's your weightloss going "

You creepy fucker!

Drip feeders - ban.
Bridezilla threads that spill over one thread - ban.
Miserable turdheads - ban.

Oh, that'll be me then

Guessing game threads.

fuck off. I don't care what you saw today you boring bastard.

And people who post "this cheese is 1 day after its sell-by date and looks perfectly fine, can I still eat it?"

the human race has survived for millennia without stickers on food

Can you please ban everyone who cooks from scratch.

TIA

People who don't want ANY family member to come and see the PFB for the first fortnight after birth. People who get arsy because someone has innocently passed comment on something about them or their baby which is clearly just making conversation.

"Am I the only one who thinks ...."

Well let's see
• have you seen the size of this site? You're really not that special, don't be so silly

 • if you'd RTFT you'd know that 100 other people have already posted the same bloody thing

People who pretend they don't know what type of pram they had and they found it in a skip with dogs pissing on it.

Ban em.

People who talk about delicious food they are having for dinner that night when I am having something plain and boring.

'This will probably out me but.......' Don't flatter yourself that anyone you know would be reading.

People who get massively turned on by other people's crises and post 'Any update OP???' when the OP has gone silent for all of five minutes.

"• have you seen the size of this site?"
Three times I read that, and read shite each time!

Shriek. Whole different thread

Ban anyone with the goddamn magic chicken that feeds 8 people for a week

Sparkling that winds me up too, plus those folk who won't reveal any personal details at all incase someone from RL recognises then. Firstly that is really very unlikely and secondly what have you don't which is sooooo awful that being outed would spell immediate death?

Ban anyone who declares primly
"DM link..I'm not clicking" As if that makes them somehow morally superior to the idiot who dared post the link

Anyone who says "help me style this"
Disclaimer: I am very unstylish
Anyone who says "disclaimer"

Are we going to have any members left?

Grennie, I feel the same.
"Oh yes, for dinner I am just whipping up a filet of unicorn tonsils on a bed of fairy clover"
Whilst I am 'whipping' up sausage and mash for the second night

Anyone who spits coffee on the screen, err no you didnt.

Anyone who starts a thread about how many fucking showers they have a day.

Ditto ,towel washing and sheet changing.

Exactly Funnys. Plus the ones that name change three times a day to avoid being outed in RL.

Anyone who changes their sheets every day.

Lol @ showers

"We shower three times a day"

Oh really? Way to let everyone know how sweaty and greasy you are