Snarky thread: Some common MN phrases helpfully translated

[K8Middleton]

I haven't read the whole thread I am so important I don't care if this has been said fifty times already, it's not been said until I've said it.

AIBU? give me some sympathy and agree with me

I don't mean any offence but... I am a twat

I'm not being rude but... I am a twat

There must be more. Snark away...

I do 'literally unbelievable' too K8.

You are clearly a snarky pedant too very wise LBE

I know Mary. Maybe it's just a case of overexposure to AIBU and Relationships. All those selfish and lazy partners, and interfering MILs and inconsiderate family/friends/strangers. Everyone's just so bloody EN-titled out there!

I do lots of smilies/emoticons.

It would appear that if you do them lots = you are a twat.

I shall become less twattish and stop doing them. If I remember.

MrsVamos
I share your twattishness.

So is it acceptable or not ? I'm confused.

Maryz.

I have to get a notebook for all the acceptable nn's, and I shall have to get another one to take note of who likes emoticons and who doesn't.

Or carry on being twattish.

Yep, that's easier.

Why does it all kick off when I've got far too much RL to handle to spare more than five mins for MN?

I do a few of these. I may be wrong precisely because I don't want to come across as an arrogant person who thinks they're always right! But I'm lazy cos I'm aware that what I've just posted makes me really really idle! and as for emoticons. Oh dear.

Words on a screen = I'm about to say something offensive, but if you get offended you're a twat.

Dammit ^ " Just words on a screen"

Posting for traffic = Look, I've tried using the niche slot for this issue and all I get is three answers, one posted on the wrong thread, one saying 'no experience but bumping for you' and one from the obsessive who haunts this topic and whose advice I've already read 20 times. So I'm posting here in AIBU/CHAT because I might actually get an answer that will help plus it feeds my ego to get 50 replies

IMHO

my opinion is not humble at all

Just spat tea/coffee all over my screen/keyboard from half a dozen different posters - something was mildly amusing but I want everyone to like me so I'm jumping on the bandwagon, even if I didn't truly find the post all that funny

= liar! Liar! Pants on fire!

= I've just been a right cow but if I smile at the end of it, you aren't allowed to call me on it.

"This thread is pointless" = "I'm a great big stupid twat."

This is a chatroom not the bloody UN. 99% of chatter is not of great importance.

I thought the H was for honest, not humble.

Nah, it's for Humble, Hecs.

HTH

= I have been here forever and delight in newbies being twats - means they'll fit right in.

I thought HTH means Hate To Help?