Snarky thread: Some common MN phrases helpfully translated

[K8Middleton]

I haven't read the whole thread I am so important I don't care if this has been said fifty times already, it's not been said until I've said it.

AIBU? give me some sympathy and agree with me

I don't mean any offence but... I am a twat

I'm not being rude but... I am a twat

There must be more. Snark away...

Have you name-changed for this?

If yes, I'm going to try to work out your usual posting name and out you, despite your attempt at anonymity.

If no, see Interesting first post.

I have read the first four pages = I can't be arsed to read the whole thread but I don't want you all to tell me off for not reading the thread.

That lack of paragraphs in your post makes it unreadable = I don't care how deeply distressed you are, I never miss an opportunity to be the grammar police on here.

Yawn = I'm a twat
'we' have done this before = I'm a twat
it's you're not your = I'm a twat
End of (intent - to end the discussion, Since they have spoken, the Last Word has been had) = I'm a twat

Lolol. I am definitely going to read something on here and just see I'm a twat now.

Except when I read something pedantic about grammar that ignores the actual post as per Passenger's excellent example. Then I will read I'm a self important twat

Lots of truly 'orrible cliches on this thread, with meanings.

Is that a subtle 'We've done this before' Cestle?

Certainly not. I'm morally opposed to cliches and all who sail in them. Any campaign against them deserves my fervent backing, and I instruct you all to follow suit.

awaits flaming or i'm going to get flamed for this

I am going to spout utter, utter bilge and, to offset your calling me on it, I am going to try and pretend I am a brave voice speaking truth to those who will not listen.

Arse. I thought I was terribly original and cestle pops my fun bubble :(

I thought I was terribly original = I could be arsed to do even a basic search because I'm here all the bloody time.

Couldn't be arsed.

Fucksticks.

Is that all you have to worry about - I'm a twat

YES Tee!

= I'm a twat
= and so am I.

Also:

This is a first world problem - I'm a twat.

Really, everything - I'm a twat.

But then I'm lazy I am trying to undermine people who don't make the same parenting choices that I do.

Hello my name is Lotta = I'm a twat!

paid into the pot = I'm a twat

Get a grip = you are utterly, utterly wrong, scarily wrong, Margaret Thatcher scale wrong but if I say what I really think of your particular brand of wrong a) I'll be here all day and b) I'll get banned so I'm hoping get a grip will work the miracle you so plainly need.

Seriously Custards what does paid into the pot mean I really am a twat

HTH - 'YABU. And a twat'

Dons hardhat = oooh this is going to kick off, I'm a right hard one, me.

Passes popcorn = I want to mark my place, but I know that K8Middleton has told everyone that 'marks place' = twat. If I pretend I have some popcorn, then I can mark my place by pretending I'm going to share.

I'm a namechanger, pombears, mitmoo, blah blah - I've been around for a while and I'm keen that you should know it because what I'm about to tell you is simply unbelievable.

"You can't disagree with a regular without all their clique piling in to have a go"

If people disagree, point proven.

If people agree, point proven.

Who's Cod' I KNOW who Cod is but it's always good for a ruck to ask......

'who is mumsnet royalty' = I desperately hope I am. Say me, say me!