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Original poster

What did you learn from giving birth? - Your help needed

217 replies

justiner · 10/12/2003 14:03

Hello all,
Mums on Pregnancy - the second mumsnet book - is due out at the end of Jan and we are beginning to think of some ways to publicise. One of the features we wanted to pitch was 50 "Things I learned from giving birth". The idea is to have a range of responses, some of which might be serious eg I learned that I really don't want to spend the rest of my life with my partner who is an utterly pathetic wimp... and some of which might be funny... that I am not and never will be cool under pressure no matter how much I kid myself I am... or that curries really don't agree with me and having one the night before the birth in attempt to bring labour on was a really bad idea.
We are sure that you guys can do much better than this. So the question is: What did you learn from giving birth?
(Many thanks in advance, Justine, Carrie and Rachel)

OP posts:
sobernow · 10/12/2003 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hmb · 10/12/2003 17:55

Well, I didn't 'give birth' myself, but had a section....so I hope this counts

I learned that you don't give two hoots who sees you naked, when you are in labour.

That the vagina is no more designed for giving birth than the penis is

It is only a day or so in your and dc's lives and the birth itself is almost incidental. It's what you do afterwards that realy counts. All that matters is that you are both OK.

I also learned that there is such a thing as love at first sight. The first time I saw dd I was instantly smitten.

ThomCat · 10/12/2003 18:02

On the subject of waters breaking I learnt that it is possible to give birth to them still intact!

I also learnt with regard to the feeling of waters coming out still in the sac, that it won't be as pleasant as that when the head comes out!!!!!!!

Massively agree with whoever said about learning that it feels as if you are having your baby out of your backside and not your nunny at all!

CountessDracula · 10/12/2003 18:10

I learned that being induced doesn't mean that you are going to have a baby in the next day, two days or even week!

And I learned that it is possible to have 8 drips in your body at once and still be alive.

tinyfeet · 10/12/2003 18:38

Thomcat, I think that was me? Horrible description, but accurate, I think. I wish someone had told me it felt like that - if not, I might've given birth to DD whilst sitting on the toilet.

marthamoo · 10/12/2003 18:42

That it will be NOTHING like your expectations, but that it's no use worrying because it's going to happen anyway.

butterflymum · 10/12/2003 18:42

.....that a dark red nightshirt was a good choice for the delivery room (honestly, I used the same one for all three)!

butterfly

marthamoo · 10/12/2003 18:45

ThomCat - I wish I had known that with ds1. I wasted so much time trying to push towards the middle with him (was trying to simultaneously clamp my bum muscles shut 'cos I was so worried about doing a pooh!) With ds2 I just bore down hard like I was doing the biggest pooh in the world, two pushes later and there he was!

Angeliz · 10/12/2003 18:47

lol MT2 at the "thats gotta hurt bit"

I also learnt that after all the questioning in my life about ,'the meaning of life', i found it there and then and have not felt lost since.

Grommit · 10/12/2003 18:49

Not politically correct I know but I learned that a c-section was much more preferable to a traumatic natural birth (having done both)- much more civilised

Ghosty · 10/12/2003 19:13

I haven't read all of these so forgive me if this has been said ...

I learned that it really doesn't matter how your baby comes out ... (naturally or c/section) ... just as long as you and the baby are well and healthy ........ and not to beat yourself up about NOT being able to give birth naturally ...

katierocket · 10/12/2003 19:39

That the anticipation is worse than the actual event (and I had a 4 day labour with back to back baby, - hence horrendous back pains as well as contractions, 9lb 13 oz and born ventouse after 2 and half hours pushing).

I worried and worried about it beforehand and envisaged every scenario but in the end you just go with it.

Popsycal · 10/12/2003 19:41

That waters breaking isn't just like having a 'little wee' as a friend told me!!

tinyfeet · 10/12/2003 20:07

Angeliz - know what you mean about not feeling 'lost'. Not that life gets any easier, but it does seem to have more meaning.
Marthamoo, can relate to your comments as well.
And Ghosty, completely agree with it not mattering how, but in the end ending up with a healthy baby and surviving it as well.

zebra · 10/12/2003 20:13

I felt like I'd joined a magical club, of women who had done this AMAZING thing and survived.

zebra · 10/12/2003 20:17

ps: I never heard the hairdryer thing, before!

anais · 10/12/2003 20:30

I learnt that nature and the human body are truly amazing.

That there is little point worrying and fretting - in the end you just have to get on with it. And none of it really matters the moment you hold your son or daughter for the first time.

I learnt that childbirth, no matter how painful, is the most incredible experience and one I wouldn't have missed out on, even if it meant missing out on the pain.

I learnt that having children changes everything. The moment you hold your baby, life changes for ever. You suddenly understand what life is about.

Feeling quite emotional reliving it all. I second the stitches thing - I remember being terrified of having to go to the loo.

And discussing things like your bowel movements or blood loss with a stranger, and being able to look someone in the eye who has seen you in such a position, lol

anais · 10/12/2003 20:32

Oh and like Zebra just said. This amazing connection with women all over the world since the beginning of time.

People think I'm crazy, but I think birth is just the most amazing thing and I'm so glad I experienced it.

Pimpernel · 10/12/2003 20:58

dd was born at home, and halfway through my labour, I learnt that our bathroom window urgently needed replacing with one that didn't let a winter gale through.

And at the end, I learnt that it took approximately 15 seconds to forget what a contraction felt like.

aloha · 10/12/2003 21:17

That you can be dignified, calm and serene during birth - but I think you have to have a caesarian to achieve this.

That seeing your baby for the first time feels oddly familiar - like you are finally meeting someone that actually you know very well already.

That your baby is so beautiful and wonderful you genuinely feel sorry for everyone else with their inferior infants.

anais · 10/12/2003 21:23

Ok, so maybe that dignity isn't as important as you thought

Angeliz · 10/12/2003 21:25

LOL Aloha.... exactly right!(on bottom 2, have no knowledge of first)

codswallop · 10/12/2003 21:30

aloha - my sister said it was like meeting a long lost friend that you have forgotten what they looked like....

twiglett · 10/12/2003 22:15

message withdrawn

Hulababy · 10/12/2003 22:18

Twiglett, you reminded me of another

Before going into labour go out and buy several extra vases. You will need them for the huge amount of flowers you will get, and none of the bouquets ever fit in just one vase either.