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What did you learn from giving birth? - Your help needed

217 replies

justiner · 10/12/2003 14:03

Hello all,
Mums on Pregnancy - the second mumsnet book - is due out at the end of Jan and we are beginning to think of some ways to publicise. One of the features we wanted to pitch was 50 "Things I learned from giving birth". The idea is to have a range of responses, some of which might be serious eg I learned that I really don't want to spend the rest of my life with my partner who is an utterly pathetic wimp... and some of which might be funny... that I am not and never will be cool under pressure no matter how much I kid myself I am... or that curries really don't agree with me and having one the night before the birth in attempt to bring labour on was a really bad idea.
We are sure that you guys can do much better than this. So the question is: What did you learn from giving birth?
(Many thanks in advance, Justine, Carrie and Rachel)

OP posts:

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Bozza · 10/12/2003 15:56

That the journey from the bed to the toilet on the postnatal ward is several times further than it looked on ante-natal ward tour.

Agree with all the ones about losing inhibitions and body taking ove etc but especially freddiecat's one about the sheer 100% effort of pushing.

M2T · 10/12/2003 15:57

jmg - Are you kidding?????? OOOOOUUUCCCCCH!
Getting them in was a breeze.... they gave me a local aneasthetic and also gave me my gas & air back. I weas lying there being stitched in painless semiconscious bliss thinking "Baby? What baby?"

dsw · 10/12/2003 15:57

That you expect your front bottom to hurrt (who wouldn't after pushing a baby through that little gap!!) But was not expecting my Back bottom to hurt as much as it did - was frightened to go for a number two for days afterwards.....

That midwives are cruel to be kind....

That your amazed you actually manage to get up every two hours to feed your new arrival

Bozza · 10/12/2003 16:02

Yes jmg I'm like M2T although despite local didn't enjoy having them put in quite a bit of tugging going on and they certainly stung afterwards. I learned how to sit down on half my backside for several days.

Was also shocked at the birth photos how swollen my face looked.

Beetroot · 10/12/2003 16:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

codswallop · 10/12/2003 16:08

No stitches didnt bother me

but piles do/did

dsw · 10/12/2003 16:10

Stitches bothered me - my sister told me I didn't have to have them if I didn't want too - the midwife advised against it, she said I DEFINATLEY had to have them. Having them was quite traumatic for me, but when I was asked to stand over a mirror to check them I was even more traumatised!!!(sp?)

M2T · 10/12/2003 16:13

Oh yes.... must depend on what needs stitched! I watched in the mirror as ds's head crowned.... my perenium BURST OPEN! It didn't hurt at the time, but I remember thinking "Holy sh*t thats gonna hurt!"....

There wasn't an option of not being stitched. Or the bottom would have literally fallen out of my world! lol

Bozza · 10/12/2003 16:18

Both stitches and piles for me I'm afraid. Both extremely unpleasant. But stitches cleared up quicker.

jmg · 10/12/2003 16:22

Maybe I'm lucky then!

Had 3rd degree tear with DS and midwifes spent much time discussing whether to get doctor in to mend it - which was what hospital policy was for 3rd degree tears. I said to them that I thought they would be likely to have much more experience of stitching up the perineum than some hospital registrar and told them just to get on with it.

Never had so much as a twinge afterwards - although did worry the first time I went to the loo. I did do that thing with the hairdryer though as I was paranoid about getting them infected!!

I had episiotomy with DD, that was a bit more stingy afterwards but still nothing worse than say a paper cut.

Oh well - just goes to show - we're all different and no two labours are the same

Freddiecat · 10/12/2003 16:23

I also learned that the feeling of the urge to push was so strong that it completely overtook the pain of the contraction.

Also that my DP was an absolutely amazing tower of strength and his voice was all I could hear at the end and when I think about how he was telling me how beautiful our baby's head was just before that final push it makes me so happy with the memory. I am sitting at work fighting back the tears now....

M2T · 10/12/2003 16:23

jmg - VERY lucky.

Hairdryer thing???

jmg · 10/12/2003 16:27

M2T - drying yourself down there with a hairdryer after going to the loo/ showering. Midwife told me it was very important to keep the stitches dry!

All my NCT group did that - or were we just really wierd!!!!

dsw · 10/12/2003 16:31

I was told the same about the hairdryer thing - you can't exactly rub dry with a towel (Ouch - the thought)

I was also told to hold the shower head between my legs when I had a wee - obviously the shower was on...

M2T · 10/12/2003 16:33

I never did that, I rubbed!!!
Now I'm seeing the reason why my stitches hurt for a month!

dsw · 10/12/2003 16:36

Hurt for a month - you'd probably ripped them out!!

jmg · 10/12/2003 16:37

M2T - ooooouuuuccccchhhh!!!!!

Use the hairdryer next time

SHIREENSMOM · 10/12/2003 16:58

me too i had stitches and was so frightened to go to yhh loo i thought everythink was going to fall out! i learnt from giving birth that its the most sccary and the most wonderfull thing i have ever done in my life we made a perfect little girl and i bought her into the world it herts like hell but as soon as you see your little baby the pain just goes away (untill you have to pee! owwww stitches)

sobernow · 10/12/2003 17:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

popsycal · 10/12/2003 17:16

that the maternal instinct is way stronger than diamorphine for getting rid of pain....ready to do it again 2 minutes later!

coppertop · 10/12/2003 17:26

That no matter how long or painful it was for you, someone else will ALWAYS have suffered more. I bet when that poor woman gave birth in a tree during floods, her neighbour said something like " Well I gave birth in a burning holly bush!"

tinyfeet · 10/12/2003 17:27

An episiotomy was not as bad as I had thought it would be. That DH was truly useless during the process, but bless him for trying to be helpful. As you've been told, all the pain and misery of pregnancy/giving birth is worth it for the best moment in your life, which is when you see your baby for the first time.

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ThomCat · 10/12/2003 17:36

Some of the things you girls have written are so lovely.
I know it may seem barmy to some people but reading them has made me look forward to the next time I'm lucky enough to know the pain and pleasure of childbirth.
And let's face it, no matter what our experiences were and what our memories of that time are, we are all so lucky to be mothers.

pie · 10/12/2003 17:38

Discovered that my first husband was a total dipsh*t and that my second cared about me more than I thought he did.

LadyP · 10/12/2003 17:42

When you are still at home, get someone else to time your contractions. Never estimate '5 mins'

Also, don't expect pain relief as soon as you arrive at hospital. You will probably be asked to 'give a urine sample' - bloody difficult when you find it hard to walk let alone pee in a tiny vessel!

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