MNHQ so what is allowed.

[ChristmasFuckers]

Whatand how can we discuss the donations??

"But X can post about being laid off, house burning down, DP being seriously ill etc etc and if MNers decide to give money, arrange food shop etc they can do so"

which is exactly what last night's poster did by all accounts.

So where is the problem?

Yuleing, I do think that it should be up to the posters to decide to give money. But this is what has happened. The Poster in question posted about her situation and people offered money, food and other things.

Now there is all this uproar about it though. If somebody wants to give somebody else money then what has it got to do with anyone else?

Agent yes.
op said she has a account from before (when she was working) and dwp never check that so people could easy pay the money.

if you give to every sob story that's your look out
not mnhq
seriously you expect monitoring and mnhq advice whether you send your own money to a stranger?

Fanjo I think if people want to offer financial help off-board or via PM that's their own business and yes, we're all adults etc etc.

It's the public "I'm sending £50", ""I'm whipping round for a Sainsbo's shop" "Here's my paypal" that sits uneasily with me.

If - as I've said before - there was a clear rule that on-the-board offers or requests for cash was a deletable and potentially bannable offence, I think it would clear the air. And it doesn't prevent people offering financial help off-board or via PM, which, as you say, is entirely their own business.

Yuleing, I don't know exactly what she posted as I didn't see it. But people are saying she asked for the money rather than just having a general moan about having no money.

I really really like the poster in question and I think she doesn't need all of this right now. I would like to try and find some solution to this so that the next time something like this happens it can be sorted out without the need for all the moaning and deleted threads.

If people want to give a complete stranger money that is up to them. However, other complete strangers should be allowed to point out that, actually, it isn't a great idea and not be shouted down for it.

Every year, on Mumsnet there is a sob story at Christmas time and people need to be wary.

Away No the Op didn't directly ask for money.

I would like to repeat that I didn't see last night's thread, have no idea who the poster was, and my unease is not about that but about the general practice of publicly offering and receiving cash based on sad stories.

I actually don't think it's even about whether the story is genuine or not - I just don't think an internet forum is the place to start waving tenners around. Hence it should be done off-board or not at all.

My understanding is that she didn't ask for money directly.

Seems that some people just don't like it when other people publicly state on these kinds of threads that they are giving money/food etc.

why?

I agree with what scottishmummy just said. What's it to me if other people want to give monwy to people who post about being in need? I never have but it's a free country. why should I be peeved at other people making thier own decision to give to people they think are in need?

Thanks Akiram, I wasn't sure of that.

In that case then I don't see what the big problem is. The majority of posters on here are adults and if they want to give money to another poster then there is nothing that anyone can do about it. It is their perogative(sp)

But yes if you have concerns you should be able to point it out without being deleted or shouted down for it providing you do it in a non abusive way.

I offered food last night from my own freezers to the OP in question, this morning I'm regretting doing so after seeing she'd posted this just under a week ago.
"I have loads a fair bit to wrap, I've not started. We've not been too well off for a few years now so this year in august I had a massive clear out, of everything, kids clothes, shoes and toys and also mine and dps clothes junk etc. And raised christmas funds. So I've slowly shopped and found the best deals and bargains, dd begged for a new dolls pram and cot, I found a brand new tandem mamas and papas one for £8 on a facebook selling page, and a baby annabell cot for £10. Also ds beyblades were bogof so £8 for two, and the stadium I got reduced from £10 to £2. And £land has been so good for stockings, craft stuff, books, socks, sweets etc."
My DD has bugger all for Xmas but I count myself lucky because we have food and I wanted to share that with other people in the end I don't think it matters much about gifts if you have food in your stomach and a roof over your head so in a lot of ways I was counting myself far luckier than the OP and since I couldn't offer money I offered food which a lot of others did. Maybe thats the more sensible way to do things.
Offer food/help not cash then you know exactly what its being spent on.
this post will probably MN-Destruct in around 10 minutes for troll hunting/personal attacks which it bloody isn't by the way

@Pinkismycolour

Sorry but banning it for troll hunting is bollocks.

I dont think one person on that thread suggested op wasnt genuine poster-advanced search was all that was needed to confirm that.

People were merely suggesting that perhaps giving cash to a stranger wasnt the best way to help them.. Others disagreed-opinions ensued. Surely thats what mn is all about no?

Deleting the thread means op may be embaressed to start another thanking people.leads to rumours and also means that imo come next xmas we will be inundated with these kinds of threads.

Not bollocks, I'm afraid. Comments included: "The kind of fraudsters that appear at xmas time.every year .without fail." and 'How much did you get, Jj?" and 'you seem to be milking it for wat it's worth" etc etc

My understanding is that she didn't ask for money directly.

Seems that some people just don't like it when other people publicly state on these kinds of threads that they are giving money/food etc.

She was hardly slow to post her paypal details either to be fair.

thats very interesting Queen. I am disgusted....

The OP didn't ask directly for money. She just said she was skint.

I think anyone that donates money or food knows that there's a possibility that the person may not be genuine, but really, we're all adults and I think we can deal with that. The same if I give money to a homeless person on the street, I have no idea how they'll spend it, but sometimes I do it anyway.

After all, I spend enough money on crap for myself that I don't need, and if I don't give more than I can afford, it doesn't matter much, does it.

I think it was fair enough to ask the OP what had been raised, as the reply would have stopped the rest o f the thread turning into an embarrassing telethon.