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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Reply to Justine

776 replies

TheOriginalFAB · 18/12/2011 18:46

The first objection I'm afraid I can't really buy - Most of the UK population uses Facebook. Most Mumsnetters use facebook. It's a bit mad to object to facebook on principle - it's like objecting to people.

This is just daft and is irrelevant whether you buy it or not. Just because "most of ths population" use FB doesn't mean everyone on MN is going to like it. It is like saying you don't buy that some people won't eat meat as the majority of the population are not vegetarian/vegan. And it is nothing like objecting to people Hmm

The second objection I just think is misguided, as I've explained. Users' privacy is no more compromised by this button than it ever was.

It might not be "no more compromised" than before but the point is it is much more visable now and before people might not have been aware of the link button but now they are and they don't like it.

So should we change something because some people on this thread dislike it even if we think they are mistaken to dislike it? Even though what they are objecting to is already in place?

You may think we are mistaken not to like it but we are part of MN and without posters you just have a website with adverts no one sees. And the fact that it is already in place is not the issue. Before lots of posters weren't aware of it so couldn't object.

I've been doing this long enough to know that new things are never well-received - but it doesn't always mean they are bad.

That comes across as patronising and lots of posters are telling you this is a "bad" idea and lots of people don't like it.

For me this is a huge loss as I feel unable to discuss something I would have appreciated help with and that makes me feel sad. And namechanging doesn't work for me as someone always guesses who I am and outs me.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 18/12/2011 20:04

but i mean apart from appearing on my facebook wall?

what are people worried that might happen?
that other people I know will somehow find out who I am on here???

Like I say, I honestly don't see why linking to a thread on FB is a problem, so I think I must be missing something obvious Blush

Lafawnduh · 18/12/2011 20:06

so has this FB 'like' been there all this time? on something I hid a year ago (because it was annoying)?

thisisyesterday · 18/12/2011 20:07

yeah when I saw the threads about a "like" button i thought it was so that mumsnetters could like other mumsnetters posts.
a la facebook but actually nothing to do with it.

so my post might have something at the bottom saying "theoriginalFAB and 5 others like this post"

but I am right in thinking that even if you press the like button as it stands, it does just place a link to a thread on your wall? it doesn't show who you are on MN?
and there is no way it could show who anyone else is? it's just a link to a thread right?

oathkeeper · 18/12/2011 20:08

so if i click like, the thread appears on my facebook?

does it link to my name? or just that i like this thread?

if the former i can see why people would be unhappy. if the latter then can't see why it is a problem unless they are embarrassed to post here.

And surely if you are overly concerned about anonymity they you just don't click like surely?

or am i just not getting it?

Akiram · 18/12/2011 20:11

thisis Posters are worried that by you linking a thread to your FB page someone who knows them (or that one of your FB friends then also "likes" it therefore it appearing on their wall and that FB friend might know them) might read it, and decide to do a search of any of the posters that appear on the thread and recognise someone. It could happen but is unlikely. Plus posters have been able to link threads to their own FB for ages only now people are aware of it.

Akiram · 18/12/2011 20:12

oathkeeper what do you mean does it link to your name? If you "like" the thread it will appear on your FB wall under whatever name you have registered with FB.

LEttletownofBOFlehem · 18/12/2011 20:13

Is this not getting a bit dull now?

Akiram · 18/12/2011 20:14

oathkeeper if you link to a thread on your FB then any of your FB friends could see that link but wouldn't know who you are on MN unless they decided to go through the posters on that thread and see what details they have posted previously and connect the dots,

thisisyesterday · 18/12/2011 20:15

but there is no link between my real life name, and my name on this thread is there?

i mean, if i post this thread to my facebook wall, no-one on there will know that I am thisisyesterday

i could be any of the posters on this thread?

plus, people can post a link to a thread even without the button, so isn't it kind of irrelevant anyway?

QuintessentiallyFestive · 18/12/2011 20:15

MNHQ

The main difference between mumsnet and facebook is that mumsnet is a forum where parents and carers of children ask for advice. Facebook isnt.

Should we all just press the "like" button above THIS thread, for example,

serious relationship thread, in parenting

To start commenting on facebook?

And then just tell the op that "this is the internet, what do you expect?"

Mumsnet IS not per definition the internet. It is an online parenting forum.

The moment people start linking to threads from facebook, to make comments about the thread, the op, etc, that the op cannot see or comment on, this can no longer profess to be a "support board".

One thing is that other media come here and pick up on the threads and the ideas, and that is fine, it is after all public.

It is something totally different to encourage users to start discussions based on other peoples issues, on different fora alltogether. Just so that you can "harvest" more users, specifically on the basis of other peoples traumas and difficulties. That is mercenary, and not good business sense.

Akiram · 18/12/2011 20:15

LeBof Yes but at least people are asking sensible questions now rather than just running around hysterically crying "I'll be outed, I'll be outed" Grin

thebigkahuna · 18/12/2011 20:16

If you like it it will show as a link, similar to any other link you share on facebook.

So, if I liked this thread then it will show the mumsnet logo and thread title on my facebook with a link to click to read the full text. NOWHERE ON THAT LINK WILL IT SHOW ME TO BE KNOWN AS thebigkahuna ON FACEBOOK.

I think it's worrying that so many people seem to think that this poses a significant risk to them being outed in real life. HELLO people, mumsnet is searchable! Google will link to MN threads.

If this has you rattled then all it has done is give you a wake up call that you may well be outed in RL, and you should really have been aware or that anyway.

Akiram · 18/12/2011 20:16

thisis that is it in a nutshell. I wish I had been as concise as you Xmas Grin

oathkeeper · 18/12/2011 20:16

ok thanks. Yes it was the MN name i meant. It doesn't hilight your specific post or anything?

seems like a big fuss over not much. I mean surely you can just copy and paste a link to any discussions onto your facebook anyway? the little button just makes it simpler.

either click it or dont.

ImpOfThePerverse · 18/12/2011 20:18

FAB - if you namechange you might still be recognisable but it makes you less searchable, so if you call yourself FABsomething one month and FABsomethingelse another, any advanced search would only bring back one month's posts.

thisisyesterday · 18/12/2011 20:19

but quint, people can link threads to facebook anyway.
or discuss them anywhere they like

i do think that if you choose to post on an open forum like this then you have to accept that anyone can see it, anyone can link to it elsewhere, anyone can discuss it...

having a button allowing a quick link hasn't changed anything.

Akiram · 18/12/2011 20:20

Quint but at least if the OP would know that the thread had been linked by 5/10/15 posters and can then make decisions based on that, before they would have had no idea and carried on posting regardless.
Just an idea, no idea if it would make any difference or not but would it help of posters could see which posters were the ones sharing the thread to their FB eg if someone share the thread that you gave as an example then it would be fair enough to question why? Maybe? Don't know, not thought it through properly.

QuintessentiallyFestive · 18/12/2011 20:21

It has. Because the big fat like it buttons is there giving people ideas they may not have otherwise. It is showing them it is OK to take other peoples problems and make fun of on other sites, such as facebook.

I think it isnt.

QuintessentiallyFestive · 18/12/2011 20:22

By then it has already been linked.

Do you think mnhq will agree to pull a thread on the basis that OP is not happy that it is discussed elsewhere behind their back?

Or would they maybe just delete their account in "shame" and anger?

SantaffetaClaus · 18/12/2011 20:22

Very valid points, Quint

BobbinRobin · 18/12/2011 20:23

I think linking a MN thread to your FB just takes you a big ol' step further from anonymity. For example, a 'mum friend' at school who is on your FB may, unbenownst to you, be a MNer as well, and by linking to MN you have just confirmed to her that you are 'one of us' So if you post anything remotely identifiable about yourself, eg a link to a dress you just bought, or a problem you're having with your DC at school, the penny is that bit more likely to drop (if she reads that thread) and you'd be outed.

Or your mother or MIL might make a connection and lord knows that's unlikely to have a happy outcome.

THAT's what I don't like about FB and MN interacting, and why I would never knowingly do it. And I know it's your choice whether you link or not, but people don't always think things through, and if there's any possibility at all of it happening accidentally then that's a whole other nightmare scenario!

usualsuspect · 18/12/2011 20:24

FFS , bored with this now

If you don't like it .leave

ImpOfThePerverse · 18/12/2011 20:24

Akiram -If the like button showed who liked a post there would be a privacy issue, you see a link on a friend's FB then come on to MN, if there's 1 like that's their posting name, if there's 2 it's 1 of those 2. Even if there's 10 it won't take long to work out who they are...

thisisyesterday · 18/12/2011 20:25

i think anyone nasty enough to want to make fun out of others on facebook would do so anyway.

really, if you don't want people discussing your stuff then you didn't ought to be posting it on the internet!

Akiram · 18/12/2011 20:26

Because the big fat like it buttons is there giving people ideas they may not have otherwise
I do agree that there may be some posters who will start linking who would never have done so before.
By then it has already been linked.
Like I said I hadn't thought it throught. Was thinking more along the lines of saying to a poster "why the hell did you link that thread" but that doesn't change the fact that it has been linked.
I don't know, I don't think its as bad as people make out and the button isn't there on an awful lot of topics. If anything good has come out of this, is that posters now realise wherever they post someone can copy that link (big button or not) and share it wherever they choose.