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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Reply to Justine

776 replies

TheOriginalFAB · 18/12/2011 18:46

The first objection I'm afraid I can't really buy - Most of the UK population uses Facebook. Most Mumsnetters use facebook. It's a bit mad to object to facebook on principle - it's like objecting to people.

This is just daft and is irrelevant whether you buy it or not. Just because "most of ths population" use FB doesn't mean everyone on MN is going to like it. It is like saying you don't buy that some people won't eat meat as the majority of the population are not vegetarian/vegan. And it is nothing like objecting to people Hmm

The second objection I just think is misguided, as I've explained. Users' privacy is no more compromised by this button than it ever was.

It might not be "no more compromised" than before but the point is it is much more visable now and before people might not have been aware of the link button but now they are and they don't like it.

So should we change something because some people on this thread dislike it even if we think they are mistaken to dislike it? Even though what they are objecting to is already in place?

You may think we are mistaken not to like it but we are part of MN and without posters you just have a website with adverts no one sees. And the fact that it is already in place is not the issue. Before lots of posters weren't aware of it so couldn't object.

I've been doing this long enough to know that new things are never well-received - but it doesn't always mean they are bad.

That comes across as patronising and lots of posters are telling you this is a "bad" idea and lots of people don't like it.

For me this is a huge loss as I feel unable to discuss something I would have appreciated help with and that makes me feel sad. And namechanging doesn't work for me as someone always guesses who I am and outs me.

OP posts:
Akiram · 18/12/2011 20:28

Imp I didn't mean take you to their FB page I just meant show their MN nickname. Like I said though it was a thought I had whilst typing out a post and hadn't thought it through at all.
i think anyone nasty enough to want to make fun out of others on facebook would do so anyway
I absolutely agree thisis the sort of poster that is going to link a sensitive thread to their FB is probably doing it already.

GwendolineMaryLacedwithBrandy · 18/12/2011 20:31

And surely if a woman at the school is also a MNetter and you post the sort of thing where you'd prefer to watch your step, then knowing she's a MNetter is better than not knowing?

I don't get the big deal either. It merely links to a MN thread, it doesn't identify you one iota. Lot of fuss about nothing.

As for giving people ideas, dear God, how old are we? Are we not capable of having ideas all by ourselves?

Lougle · 18/12/2011 20:33

Genuine question....if you agree with FAB should you click the 'like' button in support of her thread, or not click the 'like' button because you agree with her and clicking the 'like' button is using the feature she disagrees with?

See...it's a minefield Grin

chipmunksex · 18/12/2011 20:35

The simple answer is not to go on face book, or at least if you do, log out before you go on mn, then the threads you look at can't conceivably end up on your face book page thing.

It is annoying, but it's not the end of the world.

The statement about everybody being in face book anyway, so what does it matter was pretty stupid I thought.

Original poster
TheOriginalFAB · 18/12/2011 20:35

I tried to reply to Justine on the thread in question but it was full.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheOriginalFAB · 18/12/2011 20:38

Just posting my thoughts. I don't need anyone to tell me to leave. I know what I am going to do.

OP posts:
Akiram · 18/12/2011 20:38

Lougle I think it should be a "link" button rather than a "like" button because that is what it is. You are linking it to your FB probably because you find it funny/infuriating/unbelievable and you want your FB friends to read it also.
I don't know why I'm spending so much time on this I namechange every month or so and wouldn't click on the fucking button anyway Xmas Grin

Akiram · 18/12/2011 20:40

Fab a poster upthread had a good idea. Change your name regularly if you want to post sensitive stuff but just incorporate the name Fab into each name. Then it is harder for anyone to trace you but posters here will know who are.

IAmFuckingPissedOff · 18/12/2011 20:47

I want to repost parts of my last post to Justine, which got hidden on the other thread because it reached 1000 and wasn't extended:

Justine said: "If you feel you have to de-reg because Mn is public, then we are very sorry to lose you, but we'd rather that than compromise your identity" Which I think is back to being disingenuous Hmm.

Why not say it as it is. "We are sorry to lose you, but getting new users is more important."

Thanks.

I have been here for almost ten years, and I really believe that mumsnet hq listened to people's opinions. How wrong was I Sad.

All I asked for was a facility to hide it on "my customise". I haven't yet got an answer as to whether that is possible.

IAmFuckingPissedOff · 18/12/2011 20:50

Oh, and I would like to add - my disquiet is about me clicking the like button by accident, and my thread appearing on the wall of other users of my computer - which due to a glitch when they set it up is what would have happened had I clicked it on Thursday.

As in the Facebook wall (and the Facebook feeds) of my husband and my teenagers Hmm.

But I think the simple answer is: don't post advice any more. That's what they want. No advice, no experience, no stories, just innane banter.

rabbid · 18/12/2011 20:58

what are you all posting that is so awful if your rl friends found out?

herbietea · 18/12/2011 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

QuintessentiallyFestive · 18/12/2011 21:18

I think the anonymity issues is pretty small to be honest. I am not worried about recognition.

But, I think the "like" button goes beyond that. Mumsnet wants to be "with the cool guys", they want to be part of this whole social media hype. But it seems not to have realized that mumsnet, facebook and twitter, and linkedin, etc, serve very different purposes. Yes, they all have potential for serious amounts of users looking interchangably on mumsnet, facebook, adding traffic here and there, and getting impressions on ads, which is vital, etc. And people do use them both, often at the same time.

But Facebook, is limited to certain people you chose to be friends with, and it is all reciprocal. Twitter is a whole bunch of bots and bods, following, following eachother, dropping off, etc. You speak, and you have no idea who is listening, or not. It is a on ongoing stream of people with something to say, and you barely bother pay attention.

And mumsnet? What is mumsnet? Does it want to be a cascade of users shouting into the Ether, not knowing wheter anybody is listening?

Or does it want to be a clique of people who chat and sometimes follow and comment?

Or does it want to be a forum where people meet and talk and discuss, and where the media is so interested in what mumsnetters have to say that they scoop stories from here? Where politicians and chefs come to chat and answer questions.

What IS mumsnet?

The moment you start randomly posting threads to your facebook, and in this way invite YOUR select group of friends to comment in private on your various walls, in the same way as they link youtube videos and news, it is a different ballgame. I dont WANT my serious issues with my primary childs problems become entertainment of Facebook, in the same vein as a youtube clip or a funny picture.

The moment Mumsnet is telling me that THIS is what our threads are, then we need to think carefully whether this is a place we want to be. I find it patronizing and belittling.

Everything is now Entertainment.

The era started by Big Brother, where you study the microcosmos of the individual, and blog, and make pod casts, and post on the internet for advice, has maybe eaten itself now.

Original poster
TheOriginalFAB · 18/12/2011 21:21

herbietea is right as I have had experience of being the subject of the piss taking.

OP posts:
rabbid · 18/12/2011 21:23

mn has always been like that quint like it or not

QuintessentiallyFestive · 18/12/2011 21:25

Well, I dont like it.

I just have to think long and hard whether mumsnet has run its course for me or not.

Funny though, (waits for flaming) how people were all up in arms about the mouldies thing, saying "I bet they talk about us on mouldies".

How is this different?

GypsyMoth · 18/12/2011 21:30

So what you going to do FAB?

Mnhq won't back down on this one...

oathkeeper · 18/12/2011 21:33

surely if you have always been able to link to Mumsnet on Facebook, then this new button not only makes it easier but also allows Mumsnet to trace it.

So if someone does believe the link to be misused then Mumsnet can trace the link and investogate fully.

thus actually making it safer?

YouCanDoTheCube · 18/12/2011 21:34

'my disquiet is about me clicking the like button by accident, and my thread appearing on the wall of other users of my computer - which due to a glitch when they set it up is what would have happened had I clicked it on Thursday.

As in the Facebook wall (and the Facebook feeds) of my husband and my teenagers'

There is a VERY simple answer to this, well, TWO very simple answers

  1. get different log-ins for each user of the computer, and ALWAYS log out wen you've finished a session. You should do this anyway, assuming you don't want your teenagers browsing through your MN posts, browser history and so on. It's very simple to do.

  2. Ensure you're logged out of Facebook whenever you come on MN.

Honestly, so many of the objections to this seem to be from people who don't know how to log out of things.

DwayneDibbley · 18/12/2011 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

QuintessentiallyFestive · 18/12/2011 21:36

And how do you define "misuse"?

Surely mumsnet cant see the page, unless they are your friend?

The like button is important, because EVERY user who clicks it, will straight away expand the ads mn can display, as they will be able to post direct to the page of the person who pressed "like", so that all their friends will be able to see ads direct from mumsnet in the future. Of course they are not backing down on this....

YouCanDoTheCube · 18/12/2011 21:37

Oh and, as an aside really, I'm a bit surprised by the rather simple-minded snobbery displayed towards FB users by lots of posters on these threads (nobody on this one I don't think but lots on the other one). Something like a billion people have Facebook accounts, they can't all be worthless charlatans. It reminds me of people who go around saying all users of Mumsnet must be thick yummy mummies - idiotic prejudice, in other words.

oathkeeper · 18/12/2011 21:39

I meant the concerns that people will be bullying or laughing behind backs.

if someone contacts mumsnet and says "hey i've been made aware of bullying on XXX page" then they can surely trace the link?

But I am new and so the like button was here when i joined. So my opinion doesn't really count

rabbid · 18/12/2011 21:40

agree cube, we need more mouthy informed posters, it's dull on here lately and getting very obviously snidey middle class again Wink

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 18/12/2011 21:49

What I find interesting was that it started out as "trialling it in a few topics" didn't it? This is clearly nothing like a trial.

There should be an Opt Out and threads started by those who have opted out should not be "likeable". This may, however, not be possible from a technical POV. In addition, IMO it shouldn't appear on threads started before the button was introduced.