Reply to Justine

[TheOriginalFAB]

The first objection I'm afraid I can't really buy - Most of the UK population uses Facebook. Most Mumsnetters use facebook. It's a bit mad to object to facebook on principle - it's like objecting to people.

This is just daft and is irrelevant whether you buy it or not. Just because "most of ths population" use FB doesn't mean everyone on MN is going to like it. It is like saying you don't buy that some people won't eat meat as the majority of the population are not vegetarian/vegan. And it is nothing like objecting to people

The second objection I just think is misguided, as I've explained. Users' privacy is no more compromised by this button than it ever was.

It might not be "no more compromised" than before but the point is it is much more visable now and before people might not have been aware of the link button but now they are and they don't like it.

So should we change something because some people on this thread dislike it even if we think they are mistaken to dislike it? Even though what they are objecting to is already in place?

You may think we are mistaken not to like it but we are part of MN and without posters you just have a website with adverts no one sees. And the fact that it is already in place is not the issue. Before lots of posters weren't aware of it so couldn't object.

I've been doing this long enough to know that new things are never well-received - but it doesn't always mean they are bad.

That comes across as patronising and lots of posters are telling you this is a "bad" idea and lots of people don't like it.

For me this is a huge loss as I feel unable to discuss something I would have appreciated help with and that makes me feel sad. And namechanging doesn't work for me as someone always guesses who I am and outs me.

There is a fairly sensitive thread in AIBU currently which has 2 facebook "likes".

I doubt anybody are upset, or even remotely bothered about our opinions!

YOU might be upset, if you read it, and it related to you, but you are not a hard nosed business person (At least you wouldnt be if you were!) And neither am I. Which is why I find the "like" button upsetting.

It is turning everybody's compassion into facebook entertainment, just so they can increase their ad revenue.

TSC - clearly you are.

I think that, unfortunately, it has become a bit grubby.

When Justine posted something like "of course regular posters are valued, but so are new ones and the Facebook button with bring in new posters" I realised that a lurker who clicks on ads is actually more valuable than a regular giving advice.

I'm a bit thick. I really thought that mumsnet was more than just a business, because in the past if members had been worried about things they had changed them (like keeping classic, like making the dangly thing cusomisably hidden).

To be honest, if I'm outed on here and my friends see me I don't really mind. But if my teenagers see me (or worse my threads are on their walls and then in their newsfeeds and their friends see them), well, life would be suddenly pretty awful.

I won't be posting about any of them again (which rather reduces my usefulness and my support).

TSC, you have teenagers.

Imagine your threads about them on their Facebook walls .

Just sayin'

It is scary, with social media, how content is regarded nothing, but amounts of "likes" and followers, no matter how passive they are, are valuable.

But, mumsnet might soon realize that when others discover that the content really IS nothing (which it will be with the new breed of poster), it is pretty easy to just turn around to other "entertaining venues", if entertainment is all you are after.

To be fair, though, I would consider it ethically dubious to post any recognisable information of a personal nature about your teenagers, in any case. This stuff will hang around for years, and as they might say, they didn't ask to be born . I am often amazed at quite how little regard some posters have for their teenagers' privacy. I'm not aiming that at you specifically, PissedOff, but in general.

Personally, I think this could be solved very easily by a combination of one or more of the following.

1. Taking the button off all threads started before Thursday

1. Making the like button customisable (either so individual posters could hide it always, or by giving an op a choice to include it or not on their post)

1. Taking it off sensitive topics. They have (better late than never) taken it off some. But others are sensitive too.

1. Apologising for doing it with no warning.

1. Actually replying to concerns raised, rather than ignoring the points they don't want to reply to and making snarky remarks and/or jokes about others.

That's it.

TIA [hopeful]

And I agree with that BOF - if I was in the UK I wouldn't be posting for fear of the schoolgate mafia. But when I started it was genuinely pretty anonymous. And there was no chance of them seeing it (at least until they were adults and parents themselves, by which time it would do them no harm ).

I think, if the Like button has to exist, I can only see it being appropriate on a very restricted number of topics, such as Chat, TV, Sleb Twaddle, Recipes for example.

On the whole, if a poster clicks Like, they are implying that the thread has resonated with them in some way, either because they have posted on it themselves, or there's a situation described on the thread which is relevant to them or someone they know.

So anything related to anything remotely personal - health, finance, education, etc, runs the risk of being inappropriately revealing. I know some people revel in / don't care about that sort of thing, but that doesn't make it right.

Someone could press the like button and add it to their facebook thingy. Or they could tell someone 'in real life' about a facebook thread. This is a public forum, it gets quoted in the media all the time. Am not getting the hysteria about a 'like' button.

Doh, about a mumsnet thread. Have confused myself, damn bloody wine. Hope this doesn't make it onto facebook. my local temperance league will lynch me.

Although, having said that, posters can still give a lot of clues to their RL identity in seemingly innocuous threads - which may not matter in that particular thread, but their name is then searchable on more sensitive topics.

Advanced search should be disabled, then.

alistron

I don't think Advanced Search should be disabled, but sticking threads that are relevant to you under the noses of your RL friends does make it more likely that they will figure out your MN identity if they are so inclined.

at alistron.

at how any local temperance league would view any weekend thread on mumsnet.

Seriously though, I'm waiting until tomorrow morning, in the hope that Monday will bring mumsnet towers to actually reply to some of the queries (for example about old threads, which topics are sensitive, whether it can be customised etc etc).

They used to be very good at addressing concerns. I was a great supporter of Justine et al, and hoped she would never sell the site. I'm beginning to wonder whether it would make any difference who owned it (though I still have a soft spot for Olivia, sitting alone in her cupboard every weekend with a bit red button and a few jammy dodgers).

Yus. We should ask Olivia to Set up A New Site for US.

One without Like buttons and shite.

And we would make Olivia boss. And Helen second in command.

Exactly Quint.

I lurve Olivia [lickarse emoticon]

Good night.

IAFPO - I don't know if you saw but YouCanDoTheCube Sun 18-Dec-11 22:29:05 gave instructions on how to make different logins for you and your DC, this is a really good idea whether you continue to use MN or not. It would remove all the accidental posting worries, which are a valid concern.

Yes I did see that Imp, thanks (and thanks to YouCan as well). I'm going to look at it in the morning.

Unfortunately the old laptop (or netbook actually) is so aged that every time I do anything on it it collapses under the strain, so for the moment I am only posting on mumsnet on the family computer where I do have my own area. I only get on that sporadically though, as ds1 uses it a lot.

I am just worried by the lack of concern for the fact that they made a balls of the changeover, so I don't trust it at all. So I'm checking and double checking all the time, which makes mumsnetting (especially after ) hard work .

Anyway, hopefully Justine will answer a few queries tomorrow.

Well I did delete my registration last night when I saw what I considered to be a rather flippant response from Justine. Copied from another thread I posted on:

"That's what worries me, the accidental click.

People are nosy by nature even if there's no malicious intent. If a mumsnet thread appears on my wall, it's obvious I use this site and wouldn't take a rocket scientist to assume I post here too. If I accidentally click a like, there's a good chance i'm posting on that thread. It wouldn't be hard for the people I know to recognise me just through my saying something as random as the colour scheme of my lounge! Once they know my posting name they could then search my previous posts.

I never post anything that I consider could out me, or anything very personal but I come here sometimes to vent, and post opinions I wouldn't necessarily share with Facebook. I like mn because its anonymous.

It doesn't help that mn have admitted the feature isnt/wasn't working properly with the "cancel" option."

I personally dont give a flying fart who links a thread i'm on to facebook, they dont know who I am, its no biggie. But if I accidentally clicked the button myself and posted it on my own wall I could be in deep shit. There have been instances in my life where I have thought of someone as a friend not knowing they actually hated my guts. Very Jeremy Kyle ish...my life is complicated, I wish it wasn't but it is. You couldn't make it up.

The button doesn't work properly. It should be a two click process, yet posters have stated it posts straight to their wall even when they have clicked cancel, or it appears when they next log in to facebook.

AFAIK, there has been no reassurance on this, that the issue has been fixed or otherwise. The positioning of said button also differs according to thread title and often appears right next to pages/show all messages, very easy to click accidentally. Refresh at the bottom of a thread, move the mouse quickly or its in prime position to click the dreaded "like" button.

I've been a member here for eight years under different names, there have been times when I honestly dont know what i'd have done without the support. I dont want to leave.

Why cant mn have an option to disable the button when logged in as others have suggested if you really cant remove it... because some lazy folk would find it a struggle to click on the drop down bar instead?

Oh and i've read a heartbreaking post on lone parents tonight, with a big fat facebook like button glaring at me...good idea batman.