Reply to Justine

[TheOriginalFAB]

The first objection I'm afraid I can't really buy - Most of the UK population uses Facebook. Most Mumsnetters use facebook. It's a bit mad to object to facebook on principle - it's like objecting to people.

This is just daft and is irrelevant whether you buy it or not. Just because "most of ths population" use FB doesn't mean everyone on MN is going to like it. It is like saying you don't buy that some people won't eat meat as the majority of the population are not vegetarian/vegan. And it is nothing like objecting to people

The second objection I just think is misguided, as I've explained. Users' privacy is no more compromised by this button than it ever was.

It might not be "no more compromised" than before but the point is it is much more visable now and before people might not have been aware of the link button but now they are and they don't like it.

So should we change something because some people on this thread dislike it even if we think they are mistaken to dislike it? Even though what they are objecting to is already in place?

You may think we are mistaken not to like it but we are part of MN and without posters you just have a website with adverts no one sees. And the fact that it is already in place is not the issue. Before lots of posters weren't aware of it so couldn't object.

I've been doing this long enough to know that new things are never well-received - but it doesn't always mean they are bad.

That comes across as patronising and lots of posters are telling you this is a "bad" idea and lots of people don't like it.

For me this is a huge loss as I feel unable to discuss something I would have appreciated help with and that makes me feel sad. And namechanging doesn't work for me as someone always guesses who I am and outs me.

Out of interest, what happens when you click it - does it just post the link or do you get asked if posting a link is really what you wanted to do?

I have no intention of clicking it to find out.

maybe MNHQ are deliberately pissing off the regs so that they leave and create some space for new people, like me

kind of having a clear out...

ach, personally not arsed about the like button, at this reaction.

It's laughable that some posters on MN (not necessarily on this thread) think they are so much bigger than MN.

if you click it you are then prompted to post and have to click on another button. it doesn't just do it

YouCanDoIt, on Thursday if you pressed like, even if you cancelled it straight away, it posted it to the next person who logged in on Facebook.

So logging out didn't solve the problem. Of course I can log out .

I haven't heard Justine deny that this happened . I haven't seen her be absolutely 100% certain it won't happen again.

For those who say "what are you posting on here you wouldn't want your rl friends to see" - well aren't you lucky, that your problems are of the type that you can talk to your rl friends about. Mine aren't .

I have asked for the "like" button to be hideable (customised), but have not got an answer.

I have asked for the "like" button to be removed from teenagers - since as far as I can see teenagers is just as sensitive as lone parents, but have been ignored.

I simply won't be supporting anyone here any more. Whether I come back to chat, I don't know. I will miss people here, but it is too risky for me, unless and until I get my own laptop that no-one else uses, and that isn't likely in the near future.

I don't think I'm bigger than mumsnet, of course I don't.

I do feel very worried that this button is so clearly visible on old threads. Often old threads are bumped, and unless they remove it from historic threads, I will be asking for a lot of my old threads to be removed.

My children are much more computer savvy than me: all are Facebook users as are all their friends.

I don't want my life (as in threads I posted years ago, when Facebook didn't exist, and mumsnet was small and almost invisible) posted all over my children's Facebook feeds.

Might Mumsnet HQ be able to do the same as Facebook and automatically delete all posts when a member deletes their profile? Therefore, deleting your current Mumsnet account would solve the problem - delete your profile and all your posts disappear.

Facebook is not compulsory.
If you fear that other family members will be logged onto Facebook on a family PC, buy yourself a cheap laptop for personal/Mumsnet use, password protect it and don't log into Facebook.

Nothing posted on the internet is private, even private groups can be accessed with a bit of know-how. Take some responsibility for yourself. It's not rocket science.

FuckingPissedOff - honestly, that problem would be solved if you had a separate computer log-in (not just Facebook log-in) on a shared PC.

When you've finished your session, you log out COMPLETELY out of the computer. No cookies/instructions/jiggery pokery related to FuckingPissedOff's browsing session would carry over in any way into the browsing session of the next user.

"I do feel very worried that this button is so clearly visible on old threads. Often old threads are bumped, and unless they remove it from historic threads, I will be asking for a lot of my old threads to be removed.

My children are much more computer savvy than me: all are Facebook users as are all their friends.

I don't want my life (as in threads I posted years ago, when Facebook didn't exist, and mumsnet was small and almost invisible) posted all over my children's Facebook feeds."

Iamfuckingppissedoff - I am not being disingeneous here, I promise yiou that I'm not. But I can't picture how that scenario happens.

Your threads from years ago, yes? So, in order for them to be accessed someone would need to search your username, then go into the threads, then actively choose to like them on facebook.

Who is going to be searching in the first place? You? Or your teenagers.

Old threads get bumped rarely - I just can't get my head round how you think, realistically, the scenario you set out is in anyay likely to happen. Unless you are Cod, or someone who really did post prolifically? And if you're posting that prolifically and that identifiably then, sorry, you sealed your own fate a bit.

Get them all deleted if you've been that indiscrete.

Iamfuckingpissedoff - but if you don't click like then surely there is no issue?

I may be being very thick. I understand that you don't wish your posts to be visible to all your facebook freinds. But surely if you don't make use of the button then nothing has changed for you?

apologies if i am over simplifying or missing something

Gah! Indiscreet!

If your kids are more computer savvy than you they are more likely to find you out via your browsing history or the one time you forget to log out!
This is a public forum, anyone can see what you are posting at any time. If this makes you think twice before you do that's not a bad thing. I have been pretty shocked at how some posters who openly profess themselves to be health professionals carry on on this site. It is against the nmc code and recommendations for use of social networking sites.
If you need things to stay private don't use a public forum?!

I am not on Facebook.

We have a bockety old laptop we all use - no separate logins, unfortunately - which clicks on links you hover over.

I don't have the money for a "new cheap laptop" . I really wish I did.

The glitch on Thursday really bothered me (the one where you only needed a single click instead of a click and a confirmation, and where it posted on your wall even if you were logged out). It made me realise how close everyone is to broadcasting everything everyone does on Facebook.

But my real issue is the fact that Mumsnet make a big play out of pretending to take what people think seriously, whereas they don't at all. Which is, of course, their right.

They have taken it off some sensitive topics - but they initially left it on adolescent mental health, adoption and fostering, which are unbelievable sensitive, security wise. I think now they have removed it from a whole load of topics (because they admit it is a problem), they should remove it from others, for example teenagers.

The way it was done really upset me. The ignoring of any issues. The flat denial that there was a glitch (and then the admission), the insistance it was not on sensitive topics (and then the admission of "oops, sorry, it is", doesn't exactly inspire me with confidence.

I shall presume, from now on, that anything I post can be linked to the Facebook wall of anyone who uses my computer.

Which is a problem for me. I suspect it might be a problem for victims of DV, or for lone parents, or for anyone vulnerable.

And I accept you all think I'm a loon, or a saddo .

Mumsnet has been my only source of support on some issues for the last 9 years, and I feel it has been taken away, without even a "oh, sorry about that".

FPO, doesn't matter how knackered your pooter is, you can still implement separate log-ins: how to do it is described here

Whatever you decide Re MN it might well be worth doing anyway. You don't need a shiny new PC to do it.

Thank you Dwayne.

That is how I feel, and why I am so sad this weekend.

I had no-one irl I could talk to five years ago. I got support here, and in return as things improved for me I have shared my experiences with many going through the same types of things.

I have (foolishly) shared information in order to help others who are really at the end of their ropes, and with no-one to turn to. In fact, atm there is a thread I was on where I no longer feel safe posting.

Mumsnet will no longer be a support site for parents with real problems. It will be a chat site, a fun site, but not a serious parenting forum, imo.

I feel as though I have been kicked in the teeth with the comment from Justine which effectively said "well you choose to post or not, tough luck if you don't like it". I know mumsnet has the right to do as they do, an apology and/or a warning would have been nice, as would not applying such a significant change retrospectively.

And also, the way concerns were dismissed, ignored, or answered with tongue-in-cheek remarks was very disappointing, and not what I had expected from mumsnet.

But obviously I am completely stupid to expect anything else from what is a business which obviously doesn't give a shit about its "clients" .

I think it is sad to realize that you are just a number, something others make money off (and pays for their holidays in France, etc), and that you are reduced to "part of the entertainment" on par with a pithy youtube clip, in all your efforts to actually be compassionate and help.

This is a business. It should pay many peoples salaries, bonuses, private education for the kids , comfy offices, pension schemes, etc. It is NOT a charity, and should never be confused with one, just because individual member chose to spend their time helping others. That is the way it is, I suppose.

Dont like it though.

I get what you're both saying, but I think there's a third camp, which is posters who share a lot of personal stuff but don't have the worries about being unmasked that you two do. I've been on here for years, posted loads of personal stuff and I like to think I've helped a few people in my time, but I don't think this FB button is particularly likely to unmask me, and even if it did I wouldn't be that worried about it. I don't say much on here that I wouldn't be prepared to own in real life and when I post about embarrassing stuff I namechange

The thing is, there are so few threads on MN which I would be even remotely comfortable 'Liking' to FB - what is the point of the button really?

My FB friends include my parents, other relatives, people I know through my DC's school, colleagues, ex-colleagues, clients, as well as my genuine 'friends'.

So any threads involving work, school, my DC's problems, family problems, bumsex, mooncups etc are out. Which leaves, erm, Recipes maybe?

You make it sound so grubby, Quint- I'd be really upset to read that if I'd started mumsnet. It's not a crime to make a good living from something you've worked long and hard on.