Ahoy hoy mnhq - you aren't going to do anything about AIBU, are you?

[bibbitybobbitybloodyaxe]

You are sticking your fingers in your ears and going la la la and pretending not to notice that aibu is just awful?

I think a few manners would not go amiss and AIBU is the worst for that but equally I've seen it in _chat and even employment issues where I hang out a lot (I mean WTF!) recently. I think there's a lot more engaging with unpleasant posters. Didn't we used to just ignore them more in the old days? I'm sure I used to use the biscuit a lot when it first cane out and before that.

That said, anyone bleating "bully" because they have been told they abu by the majority needs to be made to stand in the corner for ten minutes with their back to the rest of the class

You can have a survey if you want but I can't run a thread (too busy with deadlines). Tell me what questions you want, I'll set it up and post the link and someone else can start a bun-fight thread if you so wish.

At the moment if posters get arsey in any other topic, someone can just say "tone it down, this isn't AIBU you know."

What will they say if there is no AIBU

where will i go when i have pmt and its a full moon?

Oh FGS. Hide AIBU? Huh. NO.

I think aibu is the best section of mn! If posters are upset by words on a screen then may I suggest the other forum would suit them better

Well, FWIW, I think AIBU is fine. If you don't like it, hide it - it's not a difficult concept.

Last month when certain people were complaining about it (yet again) there was an interesting debate in there re rear facing car seats & how safe they are etc, it was interesting... but no, it got moved to 'car seats' where unless you are buying one and want the boring questions answered (will it fit my car) no one reads.... a good debate lost because it was about a car seat.

AIBU is a general, robust, topic. If you don't like it, post in buggies & lentil weavers unite If you change AIBU there will still be threads about MIL's, P&T parking & DH's being idiots... chat would do fine, but it's nice to have a 'robust' area and a 'gentle' area.

MN has a lot of topics to choose from, choose the others & hide AIBU if you don't like it. It's like going into a restaurant and complaining there is steak on the menu, choose the fish - ignore the steak.

Well yes Pink, I've noticed you over there an awful lot. no comment

in aibu I mean

not the other place you speak of

The constant calls of 'bullying' and quicheness are really aggravating.

AIBU would be a lot less fighty if:

1. The thicko Frothing Berserkers were hived off

1. People spoke up and told the Berserkers off where necessary.

jane-tis my home from home

"It's like - a child is being bullied because they, I dunno, they're fat. (like me ) do you say this bullying is happening because this child is here, so we will remove this child and there will be no more bullying?

Or do you say this child is being bullied because people here are bullies. If we take away this child, they will simply find another victim."

Hecate you are right. We have removed our child from the school and the bully has attacked someone else.

Well done Fab. Sounds like you did the right thing. But we're not talking about taking away the victims, we're talking about taking away the arena in which it is seemingly condoned by management.

People say 'well you posted on aibu, what did you expect' and MNHQ do nothing. It's just below the radar of deletable stuff, but it's pervasive and horrid.

I knew as soon as I posted I had misunderstood the point!

But surely there is some merit to 'you posted on AIBU, what did you expect'? Unless you're new to MN then surely it would be crazy to post on there and not expect a bit of a pasting if you were being unreasonable? There are plenty of lovely supportive threads on MN why not use them if that's what you need? Genuine question, not being snippy

And I'm not always around a lot, but there have been times when I've seen an OP who is clearly in a fragile state and has posted something, well, unwise, shall we say and people have been nothing but kind and directed them to other areas

No I can see what you thought Fab

'But surely there is some merit to 'you posted on AIBU, what did you expect'? Unless you're new to MN then surely it would be crazy to post on there and not expect a bit of a pasting if you were being unreasonable?'

Well for a start lots of people ARE new to MN, AIBU brings in traffic and is on the google hit as a direct link.

secondly, this is the problem - we EXPECT to get a pasting on there. Why? Where did that expectation start? I can still remember being surprised that it was a given that you'd get abuse in that section, the first time I saw it written.

It's not wrong to warn people but to say 'it's your fault' is just wrong - there's no excuse for it. People should be allowed to post anywhere without it turning into a fight. I guess in the bar room analogy, it would be like someone wandering into the back room and tripping over someone's foot - then getting punched for it, because 'it's the fight room, what did you expect?'

Just to be clear: my biggest problem with aibu is that people don't use it correctly. I think the general dumbing down (! hard hat on) is happening across the site and is inevitable with the greatly increased membership. I am no shrinking violet and can bunfight with the best of them so I don't want to hide aibu, thanks, because if I did I would miss all sorts of threads that I might find interesting. But having such a disproportionate number of threads in aibu simply makes Mumsnet and Mumsnetters look a little bit silly, I fear.

why is it that someone will inevitably say 'if you don't like it go to another forum' it's so bleeding tedious to read

it annoys me when you get some heavyweight topics discussed in aibu though, makes us look like thickos.

(though of course some are )

JB and Bibbity speak much sense. Trouble with AIBU for me is that now if you want more than two answers you almost have to post in aibu by default. If this continues you might as well scrap all other topics and just have AIBU.....
And, yes IU hate the 'try another forum' arguement too....

I agree that there is too much use of AIBU in order to attract replies as many of the other boards are so quiet. But if you post in AIBU you risk a bunfight. I have AIBU hidden so I don't get sucked in to the most heated threads but suspect I miss a lot of interesting stuff as a result. Stricter moderation of AIBU would help. And maybe merge some of the lesser used topics with each other so there aren't so many of them.

I like AIBU. I don't mind the swearing, or the robust opinions.

You are all mere internet sprites, and have almost no effect on my RL (except for that scrummy apple cake). You can't bully me. You don't exist in any real sense. If I dislike what people are saying to me, I ignore it. If I don't like the look of a thread, I don't open it.

Agree that there's an over use of AIBU. Occasionally there's a funny one but it's quite irritating to wade through all the 'AIBU to ask what colour pants you have on' type guff. Maybe we need a 'Misplaced AIBU' topic so the offending threads can be dumped there. :)

Think it's a good idea that AIBU threads disappear after 30 days.

Really - what does it matter if someone starts a thread 'AIBU to ask what colour pants you have on'. What is actually the problem with it? You can see what the thread is about just don't open it.

I don't get why it's such a big deal. It's a busy board. Read what you want, ignore the threads that don't interest you. Surely it's that simple.

Lots of people have eloquently explained their problem with it on this and many other similar threads. I happened on one from 2009 today! So why do you still not understand Chipping?

I am in disguise, but am a poster of yore, and AIBU is 100% the reason why I am scarcely on Mn these days.
It was a JOKE. People used to start threads 'AIBU..' and MNHQ introduced a whole topic as a joke. Then it took over, like a pumpkin plant in a flower garden, spreading it's hairy great leaves all over the place. A magnet for people who like a narky argument, a place for the huffy, indignant and unreasonable to squark away at full screeching volume, and it's ambience of snippy ungenerous response spread to the rest of the board.

Even if you hide the topic, it's roots are there, undermining literate considered response.

I think for me it's the sense of misgiving regarding MN's attitudes to traffic, to the image we have, to our self respect as a forum.

Also to the mutual respect or lack of in users

I really think it's damaging to the site as a whole not to mention to individuals in many cases. Obviously not all threads in aibu are damaging. But on the whole, it's a bad thing, and it's permeated the whole site in various ways and very much the media perception of MN.

I am almost ashamed to admit I use this place, now, whereas a few years ago I was proud to be part of it, and of how it was perceived.

Great name Indie!