Let's talk about sex toys (well, ads for them on Mumsnet), please

[HelenMumsnet]

Hello.

We'd like your opinions, please, on Mumsnet taking ads for stores/sites that sell sex toys.

We accepted a campaign for one site like this earlier in the week - and then removed it after receiving a fair number of complaints.

So, what we need to know now is...

Do you mind ads for stores/sites that sell sex toys - generally speaking?

Does it matter which stores/sites these are? And what kind of stuff they're selling?

And, if you wouldn't run a mile from these kinds of ads, would you be happy to see them all over Mumsnet (with the obvious exception of our more sensitive topics such as Bereavement, Special Needs, Relationships, Miscarriage etc)? Or would you prefer them only to be in Chat?

Do please post and let us know your thoughts.

Thanks MNHQ

Cheep - that's the sort of thing I think would be OK. MN could even flag it with an 18+ symbol, like the film and games people use.

That way it wouldn't attract much attention from children and adults would only click through if they want to/now what to expect.

Yes i like the idea of age rating it. Anything with 18+ on it i would not click on if my children were here but its still my choice if they were in bed

Best of both worlds

It doesn't address the sexism aspect though, does it, the 18+ thing?

How is it sexism? Women like having sex too!

Read up the thread, plenty of examples.

A lot of the posters seem very hung up on the speculums for sale. I have no idea why anyone would want to buy one, or use one, but if they do I can't see any reason to object to them wanting to - you don't have to browse that category on their site any more than you have to look at offensive "fun" cardigans etc. on the Boden one.

I won't link because it is slightly more odd, but spicesforlove.com is another site that is commonly referred to in the same breath as passion8 or Ann Summers and their stuff does seem surprising for something non specialist.

MN please don't bother with Myla or the other site mentioned - they are far to expensive for most of us (I think)

Oh for goodness sake. What next. Don't take Asda adverts, their parent company sells arms. Never advertise banks, didn't you know their funding policies lead to the killing of kittens

Put a intermediary screen up between the ads and the sites with a disclaimer on if you want That will stop people having to go there by accident. But honestly, the internet is full of porn. Going online and then complaining there is mysogynist crap on it is like saying 'I had this baby and it cries and shits all the time' Of course if you delve into a site for sex toys you'll find some dodgy stuff. There is a market for it. You can also go to John Lewis and find carving knives which could actually kill you if inserted into the stomach

The thing is, this site is commercial. I tend to visit every day. Once a quarter or so I'll click through on an advert. In those 90-odd days I have received and offered advice I probably would not get elsewhere. It's a bit like breast milk advertising by formula companies. Not ideal but if it's the only way it gets funded, it's necessary to maintain the facility.

I just want to read that product test thread

I think that some the images related to some of the products are sexist.

Most of the toys themselves seem to be almost bizarrely unisex - there seem to be very few products that men aren't equally keen to use on themselves (regardless of the marketing material).

Surely the way to deal with that is to choose to only purchase products that are not marketed in a sexist way.

OMFG!!!

No, MNHQ, just no.

'Never advertise banks, didn't you know their funding policies lead to the killing of kittens'

Because cluster bombs are aimed at kittens doncha know

I'm not all that excited about the sexism aspect- it's nothing new. I'm just saying that making the ads 18+ won't address all the reasons people have brought up to say they find the idea unpleasant.

I dont want to see sex shop ads on mumsnet, personally, for lots of reasons already mentioned.

personally i dont want to see this on mumsnet at all but if you do put them on can it be time controlled so the ads wouldnt show before 9pm or something, do not really want my dc to come past & see such adverts

Really? You really don't think MNHQ need the money?

I'm guessing there are kitten now and then in war zones but banks are actually not that fussy about ethics in the main, which was the point I was making.

Disclaimer : I like kittens.

At least banks are non-discriminatory in their general horridness. I don't think they check the kittens' gender before they cluster bomb them.

Sorry that was flippant, allow me to elaborate. The online spend has reduced greatly following the recession and Mumsnet's branding appears to have changed too. Some of it not for the better in my opinion. Can you conceive of for example, Apple computers, advertising here. Nope, nor me. The adverts are based around home/food/holidays. Advertisers see Mumsnet as a repository of homemakers, not individual's with personal needs.

WMMC you know that you are going to be villified forever for the use of the emoticon next to the phrase 'killing kittens'

Heartless

chocolate, I do see your point but as I said as much as I want to keep an open mind it just doesn't feel right.

And I would hope MN is not that desperate for cash - am I being naive to imagine a lot of companies interested in advertising here

Oh sorry x posts. Well sort of. I still hope MN don't have to do advertise things we're not happy with. I'd rather pay a subscription!

I think there's an infinite number of other things to be advertising, so it's just unnecessary.Sex toys are advertised widely elsewhere on the net. A proportion of people will be offended for a variety of reasons.

I would say give it a miss and save yourselves a headache.

I can take the heat GetOrf - I'll just vanish for two months again, then you'll all miss me enough to welcome me back, while I sit in the background, on my other usernames, sniggering quietly.

Brainsurgeon - you may well be but ask MN how many CAT subscriptions they had by percentage of userbase. I suspect that view is a minority one :)

One off purchases StewieGriffingsMom - people tend not to buy on the spur of the moment and they already have enough exposure generally.

I know!

Get branded painkillers to advertise for all the headaches us laydees will get when the speculums and doggy masks are brought forth!

Genius or what?

I must have married some very strange men who have no interest in doggy masks nor speculums.

And Boots the Chemist sells sex toys. Are we saying no to them (you'd miss your headache pills then).