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MNHQ

Let's talk about sex toys (well, ads for them on Mumsnet), please

15 replies

HelenMumsnet · 07/10/2011 11:51

Hello.

We'd like your opinions, please, on Mumsnet taking ads for stores/sites that sell sex toys.

We accepted a campaign for one site like this earlier in the week - and then removed it after receiving a fair number of complaints.

So, what we need to know now is...

Do you mind ads for stores/sites that sell sex toys - generally speaking?

Does it matter which stores/sites these are? And what kind of stuff they're selling?

And, if you wouldn't run a mile from these kinds of ads, would you be happy to see them all over Mumsnet (with the obvious exception of our more sensitive topics such as Bereavement, Special Needs, Relationships, Miscarriage etc)? Or would you prefer them only to be in Chat?

Do please post and let us know your thoughts.

Thanks MNHQ

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MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 07/10/2011 12:27

@HarrietJones

Just read the other thread. There's def elements of that site that don't sit right with me.

OK, Harriet - what sites/stores would sit right with you? If you're in favour of these ads, broadly speaking, where would you draw the line between "acceptable" and "unacceptable"?

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 07/10/2011 12:33

@caramelwaffle

The adverts certainly shouldn't be placed in the more sensitive forum areas of this site.

No, if we took them, they absolutely wouldn't be, caramelwaffle - that's a given.

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 07/10/2011 12:53

@Hullygully

The baby diapers are particulkarly attractive. I think they'd double as a shower cap.

MNHQ - you have a fab brand here, strong women talking and discussing and rowing and supporting. Don't soil it with this crap.

Hully, does "this crap" just apply to LoveHoney, in your opinion? Or all sites/stores that sell sex toys/aids/products?

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 07/10/2011 12:54

@BecauseImWorthIt

I took great exception to the ads being on the Relationships board. I thought I wouldn't mind them being on Chat, but actually I found that I did.

I'm aware that this may seem prudish, but it's not for me. Particularly now I know more about what is on that site.

Again, BIWI, if you don't mind us asking - is that "that site" in particular? Or any sites that sell sex toys?

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 07/10/2011 13:14

@BecauseImWorthIt

Is a speculum a fairly ordinary sex toy?

I've no idea, BIWI

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 07/10/2011 13:25

@JeremyVile

Helen, basically...STOP WAVING YOUR SEX TOYS IN OUR FACES!

They're not MY sex toys. Really they're not.

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 07/10/2011 14:17

@MadameOvary

Tacky Tasteless Sleazy Definite no from me, for all the reasons already stated by SGM and Hully. What sites would I be happy to see? Coco De Mer or Myla. That's it.

Anyone else think Coco De Mer or Myla would be OK?

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 07/10/2011 14:35

Thanks for all your replies so far. They're all really helpful and we are taking them all on board.

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 07/10/2011 14:36

@KatharineClifton

How long has Mumsnet signed up for the adverts with LoveHoney? I'll have to remember to watch out for them every time I go on Chat

We're aren't running any LoveHoney ads right now, KatharineClifton.

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 07/10/2011 15:18

@Hullygully

sexy

Oh MNHQ - look what you've started....

you know we love a bit of competitive horror

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 07/10/2011 17:57

Thanks again, folks. We'll leave the thread up for a while longer. If we don't post over the weekend, it's because we're out partying we're mulling over your posts.

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 08/10/2011 11:10

@AyeBelieveInTheHumanityOfMen

"HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 07-Oct-11 12:33:02 
caramelwaffle - The adverts certainly shouldn't be placed in the more sensitive forum areas of this site.

No, if we took them, they absolutely wouldn't be, caramelwaffle - that's a given."

It's not a given. The ad first appeared in Relationships and only in that section (by MNHQ admission), so stop telling porkies. Don't think it wasn't noticed.

Morning. Just popping by to clarify this one. Yes, the first ad did appear in Relationships and we took it down as soon as we realised what had happened. There are now no ads of this sort running anywhere on Mumsnet.

This thread was started after the ad was taken down to gauge people's reactions to the idea of us taking these ads - or any other ads for sites or shops that sell sex toys ? in the future. If we did - and obviously that's a big 'if' - we said at the outset (in our OP) that we wouldn't run them in sensitive topics such as Bereavement, Special Needs, Relationships, Miscarriage etc. Our reply to caramelwaffle was simply confirming that.

So no porkies. But apols if folks were confused. Smile

MNHQ

JustineMumsnet · 10/10/2011 11:15

Thanks for all the comments. We will take note of the objections with regard to taste and appropriateness and be a more careful about which companies we allow to advertise in future and where we allow them to advertise.

That said, Mumsnet is a site for adults and you are, quite frankly, at any time one click away from some pretty agricultural language (not even one click to be fair), graphic discussion and googling dragon butter. We have always been upfront that we are a site for grown ups not children, as we think there are great advantages people being able honestly to discuss sex, relationships etc. so we wouldn't want to ditch all that in the name of taste.

But we do understand that for many folks this type of advertising crosses a line that they'd rather not be crossed and we have taken careful note and will certainly bear it in mind in future. Cheers.

MNHQ

JustineMumsnet · 10/10/2011 12:18

@toosoontoosoon

'That said, Mumsnet is a site for adults and you are, quite frankly, at any time one click away from some pretty agricultural language (not even one click to be fair), graphic discussion and googling dragon butter. We have always been upfront that we are a site for grown ups not children, as we think there are great advantages people being able honestly to discuss sex, relationships etc. so we wouldn't want to ditch all that in the name of taste.'

Justine, I don't think you are getting it, with all due respect.

Yes we are able to discuss random sexual topics and that's normal. It's a bit like a conversation with other mums, maybe at a postnatal group or something...imagine you're sitting around talking about rabbits or whatever and one of you suddenly chimes in with 'Oh by the way would anyone like to buy this [disgusting and offputting piece of equipment]? I get a commission you know'.

It would be inappropriate, and would stop the conversation in its tracks.

Yes of course we want the freedom to talk about sex. It's NOT the same as a highly visual image popping up on the screen from some company trying to FLOG us sex equipment. Children who may not be able to read can still see these images.

Really disappointed with your answer tbh.

Hi toosoontoosoon, the reason I said what I said is that it had been given as one of the arguments as to why these type of ads are inappropriate - that children might see them. Obviously if they were very in your face graphic ads that could be easily stumbled across that would be a fair point (they weren't incidentally) but the principle as expressed in this particular argument - i.e. that MN is not a suitable place for for things that are inappropriate for children, is flawed I think, for all the reasons I expressed.

Clearly your point is different - it's about who Mumsnet takes revenue from. I accept that some Mumsnetters think we shouldn't take money from this type of company because they find the products on sale offensive/ degrading. For that reason, as said, we'll be more choosy in future.

MNHQ

JustineMumsnet · 10/10/2011 12:22

@LoveBeingAMummyAgain

Mn in can't win shocker Wink
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