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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

MNHQ

Let's talk about sex toys (well, ads for them on Mumsnet), please

486 replies

HelenMumsnet · 07/10/2011 11:51

Hello.

We'd like your opinions, please, on Mumsnet taking ads for stores/sites that sell sex toys.

We accepted a campaign for one site like this earlier in the week - and then removed it after receiving a fair number of complaints.

So, what we need to know now is...

Do you mind ads for stores/sites that sell sex toys - generally speaking?

Does it matter which stores/sites these are? And what kind of stuff they're selling?

And, if you wouldn't run a mile from these kinds of ads, would you be happy to see them all over Mumsnet (with the obvious exception of our more sensitive topics such as Bereavement, Special Needs, Relationships, Miscarriage etc)? Or would you prefer them only to be in Chat?

Do please post and let us know your thoughts.

Thanks MNHQ

OP posts:
ElderberrySyrup · 07/10/2011 12:49

oh Christ, that asylum patient straightjacket ad Shock

that actually makes me want to cry.

cloudsandwind · 07/10/2011 12:49

I don't think it's fair to ask the Mumsnet audience to make this decision either.

It's not as if Mumsnetters were beating down your doors asking for sex product (please don't use the word toys) advertising was it? So did you really think you were fulfilling a demand by allowing LoveHoney to advertise here?

Also, if you don't mind me asking, did you actually look at their site before agreeing the deal?

Hullygully · 07/10/2011 12:51

The baby diapers are particulkarly attractive. I think they'd double as a shower cap.

MNHQ - you have a fab brand here, strong women talking and discussing and rowing and supporting. Don't soil it with this crap.

BecauseImWorthIt · 07/10/2011 12:52

I took great exception to the ads being on the Relationships board. I thought I wouldn't mind them being on Chat, but actually I found that I did.

I'm aware that this may seem prudish, but it's not for me. Particularly now I know more about what is on that site.

MNHQ
HelenMumsnet · 07/10/2011 12:53

@Hullygully

The baby diapers are particulkarly attractive. I think they'd double as a shower cap.

MNHQ - you have a fab brand here, strong women talking and discussing and rowing and supporting. Don't soil it with this crap.

Hully, does "this crap" just apply to LoveHoney, in your opinion? Or all sites/stores that sell sex toys/aids/products?

OP posts:
MNHQ
HelenMumsnet · 07/10/2011 12:54

@BecauseImWorthIt

I took great exception to the ads being on the Relationships board. I thought I wouldn't mind them being on Chat, but actually I found that I did.

I'm aware that this may seem prudish, but it's not for me. Particularly now I know more about what is on that site.

Again, BIWI, if you don't mind us asking - is that "that site" in particular? Or any sites that sell sex toys?

OP posts:
Hullygully · 07/10/2011 12:55

To go with the nurse's outfit, perhaps:

Budget priced smooth plastic speculum with 6 stages of opening right up to a width of 6.5 inches. And it glows in the dark too!

Like the Glow In The Dark Pussy Opener Speculum? You might also like:

Medical Play Metal Hole Spreader

Only £79.99

Stainless Steel 100cc Enema Syringe

Only £34.99

Kinklab Forceps With Rubber Tips

LoveBeingAMummyAgain · 07/10/2011 12:57

To be fair to mn I have seen posts where members have linked to lovehoney to recommend items. Think they really need to review the sex/adult topic again. Afterall any trolls on thee would be far more obvious and less damaging than the current ones that inhabit relationships etc.

Hullygully · 07/10/2011 12:58

All/any sites that sell items that demean women.

Er, that's probably it for the sex sites.

I don't care about sex aids per se, people can get their jollies however they want, I care that advertising things as mentioned above implies acceptance and condones and normalises the demeaning of women.

Sevenfold · 07/10/2011 13:00

tbh I would prefer them to the happy family type ones.

BecauseImWorthIt · 07/10/2011 13:00

Helen - I think I would have to say any site, actually. Even Ann Summers, which is a little bit more 'mainstream'. But then I suspect it's also a generational thing. The whole sex toy/Ann Summers in the high street seems to be so much more acceptable these days, whereas I'm still always vaguely shocked when I walk past the one in Wimbledon.

cloudsandwind · 07/10/2011 13:03

It's not a generational thing as much as the fact that Ann Summers managed to get around local planning laws by claiming it wasn't a sex shop. Something to do with the fact that the dildos and the porn were at the back of the shop in a very small area whilst the crappy lingerie took up most of the floor space. Makes it acceptable for the high street.

CristinadellaPizza · 07/10/2011 13:04

TBH, while LoveHoney sells some particularly unpleasant stuff, I don't actually want to see any adverts for sex toys on MN. It feels like the online equivalent of walking through Soho. Sleazy and with an undercurrent of misogyny.

nethunsreject · 07/10/2011 13:04

Yep, any site which demeans women is a no-no for me.

Mumsnet is better than this!

I used to be a proud Mners. I recommended it to friends as a straight talking but ever supportive 'brand'. It had a bit of class Wink!

JeremyVile · 07/10/2011 13:06

Surely a good rule of thumb would be - if an ad needs placing very carefully so as not to be insensitive/crass then its just too insensitive/crass for a site which has, imo, pretty decent levels of decency and intelligence? Plenty of cheap, indiscriminate, unfussy sites out there. I prefer MN thangyouverymuch.

I think placing the ads in Chat could be problematic anyway, lots of sensitive posts in Chat due to posts not hanging around forever or because the OP is unsure where to post.

I gave my views on the other thread. I dislike that a company who sells 'sexy schoolgirl' outfits would be associated with MN.

But even if they didnt stock those outfits, I'd still cringe every timme I saw an advert. Its tacky, seedy and a bit desperate.

I dont think i have ever been anti when youve asked opinions on ads before, not even for mcdonalds. But no, this would be embarassing.

JeremyVile · 07/10/2011 13:08

Decent levels of decency?
well done me.

ElderberrySyrup · 07/10/2011 13:09

Helen - there are certain sex toys that I wouldn't mind about at all - I mean who could possibly object to chocolate flavour body paint (except perhaps for its low cocoa solid content) or amusing kits to make an ice lolly in the shape of your lover's willy? I personally don't have much a problem with vibrators and vibraty massagey type things, or non-exploitative sex instruction videos no matter how explicit (or naff).

However I'm not sure whether such a thing exists as a shop that sells nice consensual sextoys and doesn't also sell stuff which references, or links to, abusive porn. (There is a poster who would probably know, will wait to see if she turns up.)

You would also have to be very careful because I think retailers recognise that they need to make their brand seem non-threatening, so often they will (as with LoveHoney) hide the darker stuff behind a fairly bland exterior.

higgle · 07/10/2011 13:10

I was very surprised at the "anti" attutude that came across in relation to the ad - Lovehoney are mainstream suppliers of fairly ordinary sex toys in the main. If you browse sex toy sites there are plenty that are more outre and chastity belts are available for men and women ( more male ones than female ones on some sites)I really don't like all this outrage and disgust about things that a significant proportion of people enjoy in the privacy of their own homes. I think the adverts are quite a good idea provided they are not put in insensitive parts of the site. The other thread deteriorated into an almost hysterical "I am more prudish than thou" and I do wonder whether some of the views expressed were more "loud minority" than what most ordinary women think.

BecauseImWorthIt · 07/10/2011 13:11

Is a speculum a fairly ordinary sex toy?

ElderberrySyrup · 07/10/2011 13:13

I am racking my brains as to what could be more outre than an anal speculum. And I am quite glad I clearly haven't seen the sites that Higgle evidently has.

miniwedge · 07/10/2011 13:13

I think that if you agree an ad campaign with any site/chain selling sex aids that would be the final push for me to leave to be honest.

I'm not a "frothing at the mouth beserker" to quote Hully ( Grin ) I enjoy sex and I enjoy variety within my sex life with my partner.

However, I don't come to mumsnet to choose sex aids, I come here for a laugh, for a chat and occasionally for support.

The notion of mumsnet supporting an industry that in turns helps perpetuate the demeaning of women is just, well, wrong. And not what I thought mumsnet was about.

JeremyVile · 07/10/2011 13:14

"insensitive parts of the site"

All of it then?

MNHQ
HelenMumsnet · 07/10/2011 13:14

@BecauseImWorthIt

Is a speculum a fairly ordinary sex toy?

I've no idea, BIWI

OP posts:
Hullygully · 07/10/2011 13:14

BIWI - Oh I think so, I like nothing more than having my underfrontals dilated 6.5" of a Friday. Doesn't everyone?

Pentagram · 07/10/2011 13:15

Well that's made my computer history look very interesting....