He admitted he doesn’t like giving oral sex.

[HLamarr]

Been together 1.5 years - at the start he gave it to me a normal amount. Used to joke about being out of practice and needing to get practice in, I was happy to oblige. In truth he wasn’t great at it but I’ll take average cunnilingus that can be improved to none..,

About six months ago, this dwindled to only when I ask for it. I spoke to him, said I’d love him to initiate sometimes and he claimed to like it just as much as other acts. He makes me orgasm from fingering, only this and oral can achieve this for me.

After this, he still didn’t initiate unless I asked for it. Lately we’ve been having more sex than usual where I am giving him more oral than ever. I asked him why he’s not reciprocating?

His response shocked me. He said he has to be in an overwhelmingly passionate mood to do it - so he isn’t when we have sex normally?? That it does nothing for him personally. And said I don’t need to give loads of blowjobs if reciprocation is bothering me.

It upset me so much to hear this. I love him but I am not sure I can get past this, it’s an important part of sex for me. He isn’t selfish normally and his response was.

The day after this talk he went down on me and I orgasmed but of course now I know he doesn’t really want to be there…

Yet witness the numerous of threads on here from women who don't want to have sex any more at all after a few years of marriage, either having never really been bothered for it or going off it over time. People change, people's relationships change. I think it's spurious to paint partners as nefariously strategic, actively reeling someone in only to pull the rug. Course it's easier to blame them and rewrite the past but it's way more likely that they're just finding their way through life like the rest of us and changing in confidence and tastes and ability to express their needs and wants as they go.

None of which is to say that OP has to put up with this. It's just a bit bogus to make it a conspiracy rather than just how life can be.

But that’s not what’s being discussed here. Not randomly going off over something over time. But pretending to like something some your partner doesn’t leave, only revealing the truth once they are emotionally invested.

That’s deceit.

The mature response. Tit for Tat.

Hi,
I can understand your frustration. As far as sexual acts go, cunnilingus is pretty fundamental. Sure, some men might not like it but if my partner loved it and I wasn’t so keen, I’d still do it for her, as she’s my partner and her sexual pleasure is paramount. Happy wife, happy life. I personally love to give my sweetheart cunnilingus, so my opinion is a bit biased. However, it’s not an extreme or selfish desire to have your man give you oral pleasure. In the end, as others have said, you have to choose whether it’s a deal breaker or not.
Good luck and I hope one day he realises what a beautiful gift is to a to make you cum with his mouth. ☺️

She's a keeper 😍

You might consider having him use a bullet vibrator on you. It may not be the same thing as oral to you, but at least it would involve the both of you. A good technique is to have him pull back your clitoral hood, put some lubricant on, and trace the vibrator around your clitoris. This stimulates the clitoris, but it avoids getting right on it. When you use this approach, you get the orgasm pleasure; and he can see your leg muscles shake, knowing that he helped you get there.

I absolutely love giving blowjobs - and trust me - it has not become the expected thing because of porn. It was something much discussed and practiced by peers in my teens in the 1980s, long before any of us had access to any kind of porn.

What was not common then was a man giving oral to a woman. I don't recall receiving until my 30s. I never really liked receiving at all (felt boring and awkward) until my current relationship which started aged 48, with a man who adores giving it.

That is horrible. I am so sorry. That makes me glad to be older than the porn generation, it's not something I've ever come across in real life. It's one of the things Russell Brand talked about a lot, making women cry during blowjobs.

That’s something totally different; no comparison. Plus nobody can “drive” a vibey better than the vulva owner herself.

Certainly it was a big thing before the outset of modern porn. There are stone carvings depicting oral from the ancient world. The Romans and the Greeks appeared to be huge fans., perhaps for birth control reasons.

Not so sure about it being uncommon for women to receive though. I’m in my 40s and received quite a lot of oral from different boyfriends in my later teens.

That is not sex! That is despicable violence.

I disagree with the comment about "driving" the vibrator. It is easier for the man to pull the clitoral hood back at just the right angle, and just the right angle will make the clitoris protrude. This is especially true when the clitoris is not engorged. If the right angle is not used, the clitoris does not protrude, and it is harder to stimulate.