Is your husband turned on by the thought of you being intimate with another guy?

[ibegyounotto]

It's actually quite common but guys tend to either not know, supress it or keep it a secret for various reasons.
It tends to reveal itself when a wife confesses to cheating and he finds himself with a raging hard-on.

I'm curious about how many couples are open about this.

There are usually clues such as the types of porn he watches, if he likes to watch you with a dildo (usually one bigger than his own dick), if he likes you to dress revealingly around other men etc.
You can usually test him by telling him about a "dream" or past experience you had where another guy gave you a mindblowing experience, he might protest verbally but his dick might say otherwise.

Exactly 🙄

This is quite the wild thread isn't it😆I can't see why anyone would ever want their partner to do something they had no interest in just for their thrills or partners pleasure. I couldn't be in a relationship of that dymanic. As a male I'm of course interested in my DW pleasure and consequently it's probably quite natural to wonder how they would be with someone else and probably a lot of the time the boundaries are confused. In theory I'd be curious how she would react with another man, how she would be with a penis larger than mine, would she be more turned on etc. There probably are scenarios where I imagine that, but more for the fact it's something I know absolutely nothing about from my DW thoughts etc. On the flip side if she came to me and said I'm quite interested in you watching me have sex with another man.....I'd get out the divorce papers and say bye bye. So all in all, a rather strange scenario for a man. Probably not the same for women but who knows

Why not the same for women?

So is "If you love why wouldnt you marry me." Or "if you love me why wouldn't you have a baby with me.".

Absolutely. Has anyone on this thread said any different? (asking genuinely, I might have missed it?)

No, I just thought it was worth mentioning.

@Gymbunny2025 I’m not saying it’s not, I wouldn’t know. Just assuming so as these kind of posts always revolve around the man don’t they? Do women have the same thoughts in role reversal?

You weren't just mentioning it. You were trying to make it into a man v woman thing - as in, women say this to men "all the time". Emotionally blackmailing men into marriage and kids.

Actually, although I don't want to fantasise about him with another woman I guess it probably did creep into threesome scenario fantasies. Not that I was aroused by it, but the scene was there.

This wasn't for my arousal either but the only other time it happened was when he asked me to tell him about him cheating on me. He wanted me to tell him about the betrayal and hearing me say I was hurt seemed to really get him going. It isn't what er, finished him, but it aroused him. Well, I say it wasn't what helped him finish.... I have no idea what he was still thinking about at the end! First and fucking last time that scenario ever happened!

Omg that’s awful. I hope he’s your ex!!

It's been quite off and on over the years.

When I met my wife, her birthday was approaching and I asked her what she'd like for her birthday...she replied ' a blonde with big t*ts!'...and that is exactly what I got her for her big day...(another story), however it opened up all kinds of thoughts and we ventured to swing clubs where we've both played, however my 'thing' is I love to watch her and I don't mean in a cuckolding way as I join in and she knows it turns me on... could go on with plenty of stories of encounters we've enjoyed. It all comes down to trust and confidence and of course a good deal of sexy fun. When out we almost dare each other...but here's the thing...we always go home together, we always chat honestly about it and we are both super happy and enjoy the odd 'happening' every now and then. We always (over too many drinks usually) recount our escapades with fun and it always creates desire between us.
So I say, talk about it, go to a club first where you can watch / see what happens with no intent of joining in (unless you're happy to)...and if you're happy, give it a try...oh and have parameters.

Have fun!

This would be something that I would love to get involved with.

Yes I disagree with that view. I love my DW and have never been happier. Before the kids we had a MFF and we both enjoyed it. If she asked for a MMF, it would be difficult to say no, we did what I wanted. But as a typical man, I would be worried, is he bigger than me? Is he better than me? But it’s not something I fantasise about, but would if she wanted to

On that subject before I try, would women feel differently about a man who enjoyed pegging?

Hi everyone. My DH (married over 20 years) has an ongoing fantasy about me having sex with another man while he watches. We are both early 50s. He mentioned it for the first time when I was 48. Over the last few years I've become more open to trying things out in the bedroom with him, which has definitely improved our sex life. It's recently progressed to the point where he will tell me right before sex how much the idea of me being intimate with another man turns him on. He has also been talking to me about Fabswingers and Fetlife and describing the situations he envisages. He has been talking about us meeting other couples with similar interests (fully clothed to start with) and then seeing how comfortable I am with proceeding towards actually doing it.

I appreciate there is a big leap between fantasy and reality, but I've gradually become more open to the idea of it happening. I am curious if anyone else has gone from just talking about it to actually doing it in reality. Any regrets?

We’ve spoken about it for a while and have now got a few things lined up. The first is a sex club this weekend while is equally exciting and terrifying! We’re going with the attitude that we’ll have a drink and a look around, then go back to the hotel and watch a movie. If anything else happens (which we’ve spoken about honestly so understand our boundaries and desires) then great. Depending on how that goes, we’ll see if the other things happen!

No, my DP hates the idea. I'd feel the same about seeing him with anyone. We're old school, jealous, monogamous and happy! Each to their own though.

How did it go @Softskinrocks? Any shocks or / and advice you could pass on?

Going to one is something my other half and I have discussed it as something to possibly do in the future.

We have and we have no regrets.

Every coulle is different and what works for us, may be different for you.

I'm married but I'm also a "bull" for other couples. Every couple I've been with has enjoyed not only our experiences and the differences but has also been pleasantly surprised what a boost it was to their own sex and relationship.

Some guys like to take inspiration while they watch, some just like to appreciate and see their DW in a new light.

My advice would be to explore the idea as a shared fantasy until it feels "normal". Get to a point where you can comfortably discuss it, where there's no secrets, no wondering what the other secretly thinks about any aspect of it.

Find someone that isn't just in it for the sex, someone that understands, can ease you into it and is happy to go at your pace. I'm all about teasing so I don't proceed unless I'm sure they're ready.

I’m F and obvious reasons NC for this. We are what I would class as a very normal couple. Married what seems like ages. DH developed this as a fantasy and I found out after some time. Was a shock I admit and over time, as mentioned above it seemed to become “normalised” as he described it as a fantasy. I would say this happened over a period of a couple of years of fantasising and imagining in bed and then one evening it happened with someone we had known for a while, and had come over for drinks. The alcohol flowed and well it happened and whilst omg, yes the nerves still struck, he watched and it happened.
Yes if honest I enjoyed it (never thought I would) but helped knowing he was so excited seeing it and sat next to us and suggesting things.
Im sure it isn’t for everyone and this isn’t something we are planning every weekend but was very exciting and the orgasms had during and after were very deep and exhausting

@CaffeinatedSeagull

Well, we’ve booked to go to a different one in November 😉

Unfortunately, a couple of child-care issues meant we got there a bit later than planned and really didn’t help get us in the mood! We missed pre-drinks and felt a bit thrown in the deep end to begin with but got comfortable quite quickly. I feel like my brain didn’t really have time to check in so it’s still a bit dream like but has been a nonstop topic of conversation since.

We had discussed boundaries at length before we went. We had things we weren’t comfortable with the other one doing and things we were definitely not happy to do.

It was nuts - all sorts going on everywhere! Everyone was lovely and respectful. The staff were friendly and discreet (except when they kept walking into the rooms to empty the bins at the worst possible moment with their head torches on 🤣)

Advice wise, from a complete newbie -

Try to keep the day before as clear as possible so that you can indulge your mind and get into the mood.

Get to the pre-drinks on time!

Talk to people. Say yes to things even if you’re nervous.

Don’t be surprised if you end up doing things you’d never thought you’d do (I hadn’t had any interest in kissing another woman but the effect on the others there when they watched us made it something different to how I’d imagined it)

I went with my boyfriend so I’d say the most important thing if you’re there with someone, particularly because of the last point, is to constantly check in - whether that’s words, a time out, a touch, a look and smile. It meant we pushed a few boundaries and we have no regrets. No one did anything that caused upset and we were definitely each others priority, which is exactly what we hoped for.

It was SO hot - enjoy! I’d say go, we went thinking at the very least, we’d have a bite to eat, a few drinks and a look around, followed by an amazing time back at the hotel. And it ended up being more than that!!

Thank you @Softskinrocks.

Hearing that you felt comfortable and had a very good experience gives me confidence we could have a similar one (hopefully without the child care issue though!)

That all sounds like really good advice and we’ll definitely take it all onboard. We’re still very much at the talking about stage at the moment, but are looking to do something in next couple of months.

Hope you’re visit to the next club proves to be even better.

As just a fantasy it's something that I think of time to time but not as often as I would imagine my wife with another woman. ( I know, predictable man).
I'm fairly confident that my wife doesn't fantasize about me watching her at all and if the roles were reversed, her watching me with another woman or man wouldn't float her boat. Having said that I've never asked her.