Is your husband turned on by the thought of you being intimate with another guy?

[ibegyounotto]

It's actually quite common but guys tend to either not know, supress it or keep it a secret for various reasons.
It tends to reveal itself when a wife confesses to cheating and he finds himself with a raging hard-on.

I'm curious about how many couples are open about this.

There are usually clues such as the types of porn he watches, if he likes to watch you with a dildo (usually one bigger than his own dick), if he likes you to dress revealingly around other men etc.
You can usually test him by telling him about a "dream" or past experience you had where another guy gave you a mindblowing experience, he might protest verbally but his dick might say otherwise.

I had another try and as far as I can see it isn’t a survey by Google. For his book, “Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help Improve Your Sex Life” Justin Lehmiller surveyed 4000 Americans and found that 58% of men and about a third of women had fantasized about cuckolding.

Actually 58% is very similar to the figure in the admittedly very small survey at the start of this thread where 49% indicated some interest in cuckolding/wife sharing. In addition there are 15% who don't know, so if you assume 49% of that 15% can be added, then you get 49 + 7 = 56%.

Just continuing this - I had the chat with DW about foursomes. We were at a BBQ this weekend and there was another couple there whom we know fairly well, and the other couple were chatting with us separately about their relationship, and sex came up (the OW told me they had had sex that morning), which led me to bring it up on the way home in the car yesterday with DW and it naturally led onto the foursome convo.

She didn't say 'I could never do that' or 'No way!' etc. which I was quite surprised about (in a good way). I then said I'd be excited about watching her with him, and she agreed it would be erotic. But she did say, as I suspected, she'd have to fancy him and unfortunately, she didn't feel attracted to the guy in the couple we'd met. She did say she thought the other woman fancied me tho, which tbh I had suspected.

So, for anyone female who has had a MMF or foursome - how important is it that you fancy the other guy? I guess when I say fancy, it's not just a physical thing...you like his face, voice, mannerisms etc.

Obviously it's very very important I fancy they guy! Im actually super picky, and more often than not will meet someone for a drink that I think is hot, but then won't fancy in person. For me they need to be hot, and more than that they need to be a nice guy. Sometimes it just doesn't click, but then the drinks is still fun.

If anyone lives in a place that has legal brothels, a FFM threesome is easily achievable.

I do have a fantasy of showing off and sharing my wife. It's the thought of another man wanting and lusting after my wife is what turns me on. It just assures me that my wife.is still hot and wanted. I have shared my fantasy with her. She is willing to roleplay and dirty talk for me in the bedroom, but is way to scared to take that step. I will just have to accept that it is just a fantasy.

I’m definitely in the yes category, getting really turned on by the thought of my wife with another man. It started with just a little exhibitionism, her showing off at a clothing optional beach on vacation in a thong and then going bottomless, having guys walk by and see her in all her glory. She still gets really turned on by this and we have amazing sex where she’ll talk dirty and fantasize about other people watching us fuck. I bring up another man fucking her and she gets even more turned on by it. She says she would do it for real if I want her to. I also love to hear about her hot past experiences with other guys.

I think you really need to think through how you will feel in reality seeing or knowing it happening with your wife. We started with fantasy well over a year ago and I went along with role playing it out etc as he seemed to find the fantasy so exciting and arousing, and we did have some amazing sex, ,but it does tend to dull after a while and he decided he really wanted for us both to experience it in reality. Eventually we did. Yes he found it incredible but he also experienced a fair number of pangs being there as actually I enjoyed it once I got into it more than I thought I would and I think that impacted him.

I think you just need to be prepared for the what ifs and if as a man you see your wife not just do it for you but enjoy the experience. We have done twice now but not sure we will continue. Is complex

Point is once you’ve done it there’s no going back, and as others have said the reality might be more complex than the fantasy. Suppose the new man is much larger and with better stamina, or think of any other issues that you might have. Dirty talk is harmless (certainly by comparison), don’t assume the actual deed will be just like the fantasy.

I agree with this, the husband can be in control of the fantasy but he will have no control when someone is fucking his wife.

Thank you for sharing your perspective! Fantasy vs. reality is clearly the main issue for me, too. How did you go about making the leap? Since you did it twice, were there lessons you learned from either time, good or bad? I could also see my wife enjoying it more than we thought.

Made the leap on holiday as opportunity arose and I was sort of faced with refusing or going with it. OH was there and saw it all as well so had to fully face his fantasy being real

The holiday moment of truth. I’ve thought about not being there and having her come back and tell me about it after, but I think I would like to be there to watch.

The last paragraph here is key. This shouldn't ever be about doing something for your man if you don't enjoy it. When you say "what if she not only does it for you, but enjoys it", shouldn't this be the starting point.

I dont think id ever want to do anything just for my man, if it wasnt enjoyable. In that respect, I would hope if a man was wanting this to happen, he'd want his wife/partner to enjoy it.

Yes, that should of course be the starting point, that the wife must want this as well. I think the distinction here is the potential for the wife to unexpectedly enjoy it TOO much (at least in the eyes of her husband). Obviously that’s fair game in this type of situation, but the comment was that husband should be prepared to watch it happen, including the possibilities as another had mentioned that the other man is better endowed and/or has more stamina. Also I would think seeing her reactions and orgasms being more intense and her doing new acts and positions. My wife has shared dirty talk about her encounters with other men in the past while we were broken up and she was traveling for work, including guys being larger, where they came, if she swallowed (always), etc., so I have at least some idea of what might be in store, but it will be very different watching it happen in real time. That’s why I had also thought about her going to the encounter alone and telling me about it afterward.

It's an idea that definitely exites me, even the thought of the other guy being bigger, seeing her reaction and enjoyment of someone different is a big part of things I like to.imagine. I even wrote a few scenarios down and shared them with her as I found that was an easier way to discuss it. It is not something I think we will ever do in real life but it is still fun to think about it, fantasy maybe being better than the reality may be

I'd do it if my husband asked me to.

Having actually tried this, I’m surprised someone could be so clear headed before hand that they definately would try but all credit to you if that’s the case

But would you want to? I don’t do judgemental, just asking.

My partner has a man she sees about once a month. A long story which started during lockdown and an arrangement we decided upon together. but I've never actually seen them have sex together. She travels to him and stays over mostly.

I really do want to. But not without his permission.

I've been thinking about this for a long time.

I suppose it would deemed an affair if done without his permission. My experience of this would be to discuss everything openly. What you both want and what you want from it. That's what we did.

I'd love to discuss it with him, just not sure how to bring it up. I think he might be ok with it but not 100% sure.

Have you never discussed it with him before?

I appreciate, its not something you could bring up over your Cornflakes at breakfast. I'd sound him out first. See how he feels about such things first.