What is a pervert?

[FordAnglia]

I seem to recall two or three times in this bit of the board where folks have cruised by and used the word pervert, but when I have politely asked for a definition of the term/asked what they mean, the question has always been swerved. I have even been advised to google it, which to my mind seems dubious if not avoidant advice.

The term seems to be tossed around a fair bit, though usually I let it pass.

So what do the good folks of the sex board define the term as?

This is also an opportunity of course for those folks who have avoided questions to have their say and educate us.

Am not aware that I need to ask myself anything

But we've asked you lots of things which you haven't answered satisfactorily.

What a tiresome little bore.

Oh look, another creepy man invading women's spaces to tell us our boundaries are wrong.

Plus ça change

And I bet he really enjoyed reading all of us describing perversions for those 11 days.
One to bank, eh?

I feel like I should get paid.

In short, a perversion for me is anything that is not consensual between mentally capable adults. ie Informed consent.

So when the many women here who have not consented to have their genuine queries be used as wank bank material, have not consented to have fetishists start threads in other parts of the site or have not consented to receive unsolicited PMs use the word “pervert” to describe the men who do those things, they’re using it absolutely correctly as per your own definition.

Good to have that cleared up.

👏

Nails it.

Well said @SoundTheSirens

No no- Mumsnet is probably the best one there is and any discussion boards for fathers are pretty quiet. I joined because DW and I were far from family and friends and, tbh, really struggling as parents. Joining helped me a lot and back then no one really minded men on Mumsnet. That's the reason why I'm here.

@Catullus5 Ah ok. I was just responding to the PP's suggestion that not having men was intrinsically wrong. It's not necessarily wrong. But if they're here in good faith and act reasonably/don't try to dominate then it's alright.

.........back then no one really minded men on Mumsnet. That's the reason why I'm here

@Catullus5 I personally don't mind the vast majority of the men who use MN.

I do object to the creepy, pervy types who gravitate to a lot of the threads on this particular board, though, (and the ones who argue for the sake of it on the FWR board).

There is a strange cheering section of women on this board, and they seem to delight in both welcoming the perves, and denigrating other women who strongly object to those very same perves.

There is a strange cheering section of women on this board, and they seem to delight in both welcoming the perves, and denigrating other women who strongly object to those very same perves.

If they are in fact women, of course.

Well, yes.

You see that everywhere in RL though. Women who change whenever a man is around and who want to be what men like and who get their sense of self worth from being liked or desired by men.

I used to be one in my late teens and early 20s. I was nothing unless whatever man was in the room paid attention to me. The number of men I slept with to get some sort of feeling I was worth something would get me a place in the Guinness Book of World Records.

Obviously that's not all, most or even a small majority of women on this board, just adding on to the point that there are women around on here as are everywhere who have this issue and I recognise what I used to be.

So when the many women here who have not consented to have their genuine queries be used as wank bank material, have not consentedto have fetishists start threads in other parts of the site or have not consented to receive unsolicited PMs use the word “pervert” to describe the men who do those things, they’re using it absolutely correctly as per your own definition.

👏 👏 👏 It’s awful that men are using it for this.

There have been some great posts here by women but it’s really depressing how this part of the site is used though. Pervs getting their kicks, preying on women. Sick.

Someone is going to have a bad IRL experience with one of these sickos.

Im a regular user of this particular part of the site. I decided not to respond to this post, because it was clearly evident from the first replies that he was an argumentative sod. He wasn't going to listen to other viewpoints, because he didn't care less. He's not come back since. He only came to stir.

The sex board has its regulars. We all know who we are. We give advice on topics we know about. We don't proclaim to know everything, so stand back on occasions for people who do know to give advice. We don't question the more knowledgeable, we're polite like that.

But I for one, really dislike people who aren't helpful, but prefer to be vindictive, accusatory and view from a higher judge point but with the only reason to be an argumentative or stir sh1t.

There's absolutely no reason not to be supportive on this bit of the site, as expected on parts of the site.

There's absolutely no reason not to be supportive on this bit of the site, as expected on parts of the site.

There will be different views on this board like any other. I’ve seen posters be called unsupportive or judgmental just because they see it in a different way. I’ve also seen people called it because they’ve spotted potential issues within a relationship, which really seems to annoy the others replying as they just want to get back to the sex and using it to overshare. There are some views he, that I will never support so there’s every reason to not be supportive. If others don’t like it, tough shit.

@B1rd unfortunately being known as a regular user here seems to equal trouble maker for some. I changed my username for a while and didn’t get any flak for my posts. I can see that people with dubious motives do post on this board (as they do on other boards). However I find it very frustrating when kind, curious, and genuinely nice people are branded as ‘pervs’.

However I find it very frustrating when kind, curious, and genuinely nice people are branded as ‘pervs’.

What you feel is kind, curious and nice can be different to what others think. I’ve seen regulars post and engage with posters that are to me obviously pervs, and they are later deleted. I’ve also known you strongly defend posters for not being pervs who have later had posts deleted and who have PM’d posters without them consenting to that etc.

Be careful everyone, let’s keep this thread up. It’s been here for almost 3 weeks, no need for it to be deleted now. 😉

I find it very frustrating when kind, curious, and genuinely nice people are branded as ‘pervs’

How can you tell the difference?

Be careful everyone, let’s keep this thread up. It’s been here for almost 3 weeks, no need for it to be deleted now

It would certainly be a great shame if it was deleted.
It's been an interesting and useful thread.

@AllTheChristmasMovies the winky face doesn’t really disguise the mean sentiment behind your words. Ironically, you seem to think I’m a troublemaker. Presumably you have also seen me interact with posters who didn’t turn out to be creeps?

In any case, I was just posting in support of what @B1rd had written.

Careful @Mermaidparades - you'll be accusing people of bullying soon

@Mermaidparades This is a constructive discussion about perverts on the sex board. My words were factual, not mean.