What is a pervert?

[FordAnglia]

I seem to recall two or three times in this bit of the board where folks have cruised by and used the word pervert, but when I have politely asked for a definition of the term/asked what they mean, the question has always been swerved. I have even been advised to google it, which to my mind seems dubious if not avoidant advice.

The term seems to be tossed around a fair bit, though usually I let it pass.

So what do the good folks of the sex board define the term as?

This is also an opportunity of course for those folks who have avoided questions to have their say and educate us.

Has anyone actually agreed with what a pervert is then, to some degree it could depend on upbringing, deeply religious people may well think anal sex for example is a perversion others won’t

FriedOkra compiled a list a few pages ago:

Posters that seem to have a period fetish
Posters that want to discuss ‘college girl porn’
Posters that post about accidentally stealing knickers
Posters that swap their sex between posting
Posters that seem to have a breastfeeding fetish
Posters that sexualise children
Posters that post about having sex where children may see

Posters that link to sites that have sections for incest and teen sex

Posters who turn a sexual health question into a chance to overshare their sexual experiences
Posters with little posting history asking for others to share

Posters who have sent me unwanted PMs that are sexual

__

That one about linking to sites that have sections for incest and teen sex would brand as perverts the many, many women who have recommended Literotica to others on here down the years. Or who have admitted to having published or read stories on that site.

Yes, absolutely.

So you are branding all those many many women as "perverts".
Isn't that going to be a rather big club?

@everywhichway If they are seeking out material that is teen and incest, yes, perverted. If they didn’t know those things were on there and aren’t viewing those, no. From reading this thread, it seems mumsnet don’t think any sites that have those topics, are suitable for a link to it to be put on mumsnet, which I think is right due to that material being on there.

Has anyone actually agreed with what a pervert is then, to some degree it could depend on upbringing, deeply religious people may well think anal sex for example is a perversion others won’t

On this thread I haven’t seen anyone mention any act between consenting adults be mentioned as perverted. Read the thread.

Pp mentioned the terms teen and incest being used deliberately to push boundaries and I agree with that. These sites know what they’re doing, who they are aiming it at and it is perverted.

If they are seeking out material that is teen and incest, yes, perverted. If they didn’t know those things were on there and aren’t viewing those, no.

I agree. It’s those topics in particular that are a problem. It’s perverted. I also think people who use sites that have those things on them, for other things, should think twice before supporting those sites.

Those topics are perverted as are people that view that content. I would be skeptical of anyone defending that content or websites hosting that content. Genuine people with normal and healthy boundaries don’t try to defend that shit.

Genuine people with normal and healthy boundaries don’t try to defend that shit.

💯

Yes it is, and it's also not appropriate on MN for people to post links to such sites.

I’ve been reading this thread for a couple of weeks but haven’t posted til now. I agree with all the previous examples of perversion and have unfortunately seen many. The things involving children are obviously the worst but the oversharing from some men obviously using it to get off is very bad too on a forum like this. I’ve also received unwanted PMs from this board.

On a similar theme to the hook up sex chat thread, the threads enabling/encouraging affairs/sex outside of relationships without the other person knowing feel really inappropriate for mumsnet. There’s one at the moment asking for recommendations for how to go about it. It’s not perverted, but is it really something a site like mumsnet should entertain/host?

My point was, it differs by person. Where the line is drawn will not be the same for all. I agree that most people don’t consider anal sex as perverted but some people will, ergo that’s where they draw the line.

@brunettemic I think most people, all good humans imo, would agree with the examples on the thread. Posters have mentioned things which they believe would commonly be seen as perverted.

@DancingAllNight yes I know, you’re just missing my point. Everyone agrees that extreme, criminal acts like that are perverse, I’m not arguing against that. That is almost a pointless discussion though because nobody will disagree but there are levels of things before you get to that level of extreme.

@brunettemic no, you need to read the thread or re read it because you are the one missing the point.

Unless you think things like men oversharing and encouraging others to share for their wank bank by making up pretend situations isn’t perverted. In which case I can’t help you.

I think it’s a pointless discussion not because everyone’s line in the sand will be different, but because the OP was almost certainly hoping to use it as a way to shoot down anyone who continues to express their issues with the problematic elements of how this board operates in practice by declaring “but by this definition we’re not perverts”. Just another man “well, actually-ing”, and most of us have had a bellyful of that in our lives.

For example anal sex, there may be some people that think it’s perverted, but it’s not mentioned on this thread by anyone because most people accept that it’s not thought of as perverted by the majority. The vast majority of people don’t care what people do in the privacy of their own homes, with adults, with consent.

Mumsnet won’t delete threads about anal sex. They will delete it if there is perverted oversharing or encouraging others to share stories about it when it’s obvious to anyone with a brain that it’s not genuine and only for the wank bank.

If you can’t understand this, I feel that’s deliberate.

@SoundTheSirens I know right. I think we just ignore these people who pretend not to understand and seem to want to twist and minimise and use technicalities and everything else we’ve seen on the thread. It only shows them for what they are. The thread itself is useful in highlighting the issues here.

‘If you can’t understand this, I feel that’s deliberate.’

Passive aggression because someone disagrees with you is not furthering your argument.

@Mermaidparades I’m saying what I think, it’s not passive aggressive. I believe there are a few posters here who are deliberately not understanding because it doesn’t suit them. Why do you see any challenge as aggressive, next you will cry bullying again. Boring, boring, boring!

Its like when you pretended you were told off like a naughty child when asked politely to be more careful when posting links. Do you have trouble with comprehension?
What’s the explanation. It’s deliberate misunderstanding like so many others here.

It would certainly be a great shame if this thread was deleted. I'm very glad to see that there has been so little arguing that deleting it will not become the inevitable consequence of its existence.

Agree. Back to what is a perv. Here’s that list again from a pp 😉

Posters that seem to have a period fetish
Posters that want to discuss ‘college girl porn’
Posters that post about accidentally stealing knickers
Posters that swap their sex between posting
Posters that seem to have a breastfeeding fetish
Posters that sexualise children
Posters that post about having sex where children may see
Posters that link to sites that have sections for incest and teen sex
Posters who turn a sexual health question into a chance to overshare their sexual experiences
Posters with little posting history asking for others to share
Posters who have sent me unwanted PMs that are sexual

I don't think you understand what passive aggressive means, @Mermaidparades

It's a very fair argument to say that there are some on this thread who are deliberately pretending that they don't understand. Nothing passive about that. Nor anything aggressive either.