What is a pervert?

[FordAnglia]

I seem to recall two or three times in this bit of the board where folks have cruised by and used the word pervert, but when I have politely asked for a definition of the term/asked what they mean, the question has always been swerved. I have even been advised to google it, which to my mind seems dubious if not avoidant advice.

The term seems to be tossed around a fair bit, though usually I let it pass.

So what do the good folks of the sex board define the term as?

This is also an opportunity of course for those folks who have avoided questions to have their say and educate us.

my you have been busy on the sex topics. Have sometimes wondered as well about this bandied around term "oversharing" -isn't sharing views/info and life experiences what forums are about? What gives them their life/interchange?

......isn't sharing views/info and life experiences what forums are about?

Not when the sharing involves perverted fetishists who are seeking posts in order to feed their wank banks.
But I'm sure you know that.

Of course he does

I’m sure he knows too.

@Mermaidparades you popping up again has reminded me I wanted to ask you something relating to an earlier comment of yours.

However I find it very frustrating when kind, curious, and genuinely nice people are branded as ‘pervs’.

Genuine question: why does it matter so much to you? If you know you and those you converse with are simply “kind, curious and genuinely nice”, why does it affect you if you/they are called something you know doesn’t apply? You’re not going to get deleted if your content isn’t causing any issues, you don’t know the people using the word “pervert”, so why does it make you “very frustrated”?

As a comparison: on Twitter I get called “transphobic”, “TERF” and “Nazi” periodically, because I don’t believe people can change sex or in “locking in” potentially confused / autistic / gay / traumatised etc etc under-18s to a lifetime of medication on very little qualitative evidence. But I know I’m left-leaning, I include women who identify as transmen in my feminism and I think everyone should be free to express and call themselves however and whatever they wish without harm or discrimination (so long as they’re not transgressing on others’ rights in the process), so those attempts at slurs genuinely don’t bother me because I know they don’t apply to me.

Why does people whose opinion you don’t value using the word “pervert” sting so much if you know it doesn’t apply to you?

above post - would have thought answer pretty clear - (apols if putting words in your mouth mermaid) - many average decent folks don't like to see other folks dissed as whatever. world full of examples. most folks are nice.am afraid above post looks like an attempt to have an argument. Am aware from past that mermaid has been rounded on. You don't need a lot of human empathy to figure out why.

@SoundTheSirens Thats easy. It’s because I’m not like you. Words hurt me and stay with me for ages. I wish I could be stronger and think that doesn’t apply to me so simply ignore. But I’m not 🤷🏻‍♀️

Okay, thanks for explaining. Contrary to what some may think, I wasn’t looking for an argument about it, I genuinely wanted to understand - and now I do. I hope you get to the stronger place you wish to and find the liberation in giving fewer fucks.

many average decent folks don't like to see other folks dissed as whatever.

How caring. No care though for the partners of the posters on the hook up thread, those that are duped into sharing by a perv or children being sexualised for example, whilst you’re all busy giving people the benefit of the doubt. No care for them at all. Thank goodness mumsnet see a lot of it for what it is as many of the regulars don’t seem able.

@Mermaidparades You were asked to please be careful with links you post in future, previously on the thread. You said that you had been scolded like a naughty child. Can you not see that you were not? You were just asked because it makes the board safer.

I'm as perverted as they come - when it comes to consensual sex between two adults. More perverted than most. I frequent other sites for that. Mumsnet isn't the place I'd come to discuss my perversions.

I didn't see that post as an attempt to have an argument.

I think it's pretty clear when someone posts here in a way that indicates they are a pervert - it's non-consensual, I'm very much into consent, and I have not consented, nor have others here, to have our experiences used to populate someone's wank bank - that is not ok.

And I was, for the record, absolutely disgusted by the hook up thread. It was absolutely not ok.

I've played poly in the past, but all partners were aware. Going behind backs for sexting via pm here or to take it outside of here is not ok.

@lasswibenefits Unfortunately lots of regulars still feel that thread was suitable for mumsnet, many that also can’t seem to spot a perv hiding in plain sight.

Thank you.

In that case I absolutely will take the post in the spirit in which it was intended.

am afraid above post looks like an attempt to have an argument.

The irony. 😅

Yes indeed.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

🤣🤣🤣

The irony. 😅

😂

Aperson called 'DeaconLeicestershire' PM'ed me and asked where I was based. I've not shown any sign I'm up for anything in any way. Reported it. Wonder if any of the rest of you have had messages from him?

I do think there's such a thing as an objective definition of 'pervert.' It would be anything considerably out of the sexual norm- that's the dictionary definition, people with -philias, fetishes that are deviant.

As someone who converted to Christianity, I once had quite a wild life but I also now reject stuff outside of God's design for sex. So yes, in a response to a PP's question about anal, it's not that I'm uptight but I now reject anything outside of God's plan for sex. I don't think we'd find many people on this earth claiming that alll sex should be 100% missionary or whatever though.

Does the bible say that we shouldn't have anal sex?!

@BIWI I would interpret ‘God’s design for sex’ as purely for procreation, which would exclude anal. But I’m not a religious person so could be completely wrong!

There is actually nothing in the Bible which precludes anal sex, and Christians are not expected to only have sex for procreation.

Sexual pleasure within marriage is encouraged in Christianity, and consent to have sex (or to give or receive any sexual act) is regarded as essential, whether from wife or husband.

Thank you @TheShellBeach

It doesn't mention it as far as married couples are concerned, but within the Old Testament and the New, homosexuality (male and female) is proscribed.