What is a pervert?

[FordAnglia]

I seem to recall two or three times in this bit of the board where folks have cruised by and used the word pervert, but when I have politely asked for a definition of the term/asked what they mean, the question has always been swerved. I have even been advised to google it, which to my mind seems dubious if not avoidant advice.

The term seems to be tossed around a fair bit, though usually I let it pass.

So what do the good folks of the sex board define the term as?

This is also an opportunity of course for those folks who have avoided questions to have their say and educate us.

I've said I do report posts. So you do think I'm lying about that, and therefore you are casting aspersions.

But what I'm not going to be is the thread-purity-and-taste police on here. I'm not going to report everything on here that isn't to my taste, and that's what I meant. If a thread is about swinging I will just shrug my shoulders, maybe roll my eyes, and move on.

The two things aren't inconsistent.

I think it’s fair to draw conclusions based on what people have posted previously. If someone posts they don’t feel something is their business to comment on or try to stop on here, it’s fair to think they’re probably not reporting. It’s a fair conclusion to come too when presented with that statement.

I’d never write that because I do I think we should all try to stop it, by reporting. I want mumsnet to be safe for women to use.

I agree, I would never write it either as someone who reports threads and posts regularly.

I wouldn’t report threads about swinging if they sound like they could be genuine. Why would I? It’s not about that. Posters are only concerned about perverts and anyone trying to re start a hook up thread. This whole thread was started because a poster couldn’t seem to identify the pervs.

There’s a nasty undertone that has been on so many of the threads discussing problems on this board, anyone identifying problem posts and threads are in some way prudes, frigid, don’t like sex etc. These posters fail to see that what we want is a board that feels similar to the rest of mumsnet. Or maybe they do see it but just don’t like it which I think is more likely.

‘I don't like some of the content on this board but I don't see that it's my business to comment on it or try to stop it.’

If these are that posters words, I agree with the previous posters, it’s fair to think this is someone who feels no responsibility to report. The explanation given makes no sense. I’m sure it wouldn’t cross many people’s minds to report a post about swinging, it’s the pervy stuff we’re talking about, not posts that are about subjects that may not be our thing.

Other posters have admitted in the past that that don’t report, they think it’s kind to give the benefit of the doubt and some comment and engage on very, very obvious perverted threads which has been mentioned earlier. I think it’s a mix of naivety, not caring and those that are here for perverted reasons. It doesn’t show the posters very positively at all.

@EverybodySayBigStretch there is a nasty undertone, you’re quite right. Anyone disagreeing with a certain group of posters is encircled and their words picked apart (see @Catullus5 above as a perfect example), men are deemed pervs , women are cheerleaders and therefore encouraging the men 🙄

Again and again.

That isn't at all what people have said.
We're back to where we were some time ago, having the same old argument.
I don't want this thread to be deleted though, so I shan't say anything else.

'There’s a nasty undertone that has been on so many of the threads discussing problems on this board, anyone identifying problem posts and threads are in some way prudes, frigid, don’t like sex etc. These posters fail to see that what we want is a board that feels similar to the rest of mumsnet. Or maybe they do see it but just don’t like it which I think is more likely.'

And there's a nasty undertone that has been on many of these threads that anyone defending this board is a perv, stupid, 'sex people', man pleasers, etc etc etc.

So yes as a pp has just said we're going round in circles. My advice would be to stop judging others and report anything that upsets up. That's it.

@TheShellBeach its exactly what people have said. Here, Femvox, Reddit, who knows where else?! 😂

I was just re reading this list by a pp on things they’ve seen, it’s horrible.

Posters that seem to have a period fetish
Posters that want to discuss ‘college girl porn’
Posters that post about accidentally stealing knickers
Posters that swap their sex between posting
Posters that seem to have a breastfeeding fetish
Posters that sexualise children
Posters that post about having sex where children may see
Posters that link to sites that have sections for incest and teen sex
Posters who turn a sexual health question into a chance to overshare their sexual experiences
Posters with little posting history asking for others to share
Posters who have sent me unwanted PMs that are sexual

Having seen some of these myself and seen regulars engaging with or defending some of them that are now deleted because they were obvious pervs, it leaves me feeling sick.

@FriedOkra ’seem to’? Do they or don’t they? You could add ‘seem to’ to any defamatory statement!!

and the link to the site that has the incest/ teen sex categories was me. I had no idea and this has been done to death. It turns out that step brother/sister porn is incredibly popular. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Mermaidparades ‘Seem to’ was only on a couple of those examples. Period and bf fetish. Mumsnet have deleted the posts I have seen so they obviously think so. I agree with them. HTH.

and the link to the site that has the incest/ teen sex categories was me. I had no idea and this has been done to death.

You’re not the only one then as I’ve seen others post links to sites that host that. I don’t know you or them so have no idea if you knew or not. If you didn’t know, it’s very silly to post links to sites that you haven’t looked into. On the few I’ve seen linked, one or two clicks showed the inappropriate categories listed so it didn’t take much effort.

@NewRoses They were your examples. Mermaids has questions. 😅

@FriedOkra it’s very silly to post quotes that you can’t back up 😉

it’s very silly to post quotes that you can’t back up

@Mermaidparades What can’t she back up?

@EverybodySayBigStretch whatever she was thinking about when she tagged the poster who had made the list.

@Mermaidparades She said MNHQ had deleted the posts she had seen on those topics. The original poster @NewRoses may be able to answer your question better. Any comments on the actual list? Horrible isn’t it?

I’m not commenting on the list, no. Because I know my link was taken out of context, therefore how could I tell if the rest are completely accurate. I’m sure some are.

I’m not commenting on the list, no. Because I know my link was taken out of context, therefore how could I tell if the rest are completely accurate. I’m sure some are.

How do you know it’s your link that @NewRoses is referring to? But why did you post a link that you hadn’t checked? I do remember your post/link and it took me about 5 seconds to see that incest and teen were sections on the site. I reported it.

’seem to’? Do they or don’t they? You could add ‘seem to’ to any defamatory statement!!

@Mermaidparades The breastfeeding and period posts were all removed. I would say they had a fetish for those things based on what was written and/or their posting history. I think mumsnet removing them says there was enough doubt/evidence to say that they did too.

There have been a couple of posts linking to other sites with incest and teen categories that I have seen. I didn’t know you had also done it. Noted though. You were not one of the ones I had in mind when I posted that. Please be more careful when adding links.

@NewRoses 😂 yes, Ma’am!

feel I must dive back in to support your eminently reasonable brave post mermaid.
I also totally understand the thing you posted upthread about the bullying of you in the past (I saw it, was disgusted, but as an occasional visitor was probably only aware of half of it, plus stuff under the surface) and how it mysteriously abated when you name changed - even though you were still being authentically you. Proof to me that SOME folks latch on to a name to encircle/bully. Real schoolplayground stuff in my view. Yep I too must admit to finding the broadbrushstroke judgements on men/women decidedly odd. Have seen folk posting as women (I have no reason to think they are not) labelled as men because of stuff they post. All very odd. Call me old fashioned but I think honest communication between folk of whatever gender and persuasion is healthy. Of course I suppose some would like to see any sex section/sex board limited to medical problems. Maybe mnet for all I know - the whole bit could just become a billboard for ointment and potion ads.

you are the person who had a mega list I seem to remember - must admit I doubted the evidence of some.
As for what I consider a pervert I believe I made that perfectly clear, after some goading, upthread.
I don't recall ever reporting anything.
But then I don't recall seeing& anything that hit my definition of pervert/essentially illegal stuff.
If I did I would report in the interests of a healthy society/Mnet.
& maybe of course as it was reported/deleted before I saw it. Someone upthread said they read every single post on this bit, which sounded extraordinarily dedicated to me. I don't read everything and doubtless miss a lot.
& is marker/reference of course - other traditional symbols seem to invoke odd formatting stuff.