I love this question. I'd say 90% no to performing.... we play with people we feel a trust and rapport with.... and we genuinely want to give each other pleasure- just like in 'normal sex'. There is a certain level to which you make special efforts .... kind of like a sexy special date. So while sometimes you might have sex with your DH with your socks on, when you haven't washed your hair that day, part of the pleasure, for us anyway, is getting all cleaned up, putting on something sexy etc....
But overall, I'd say my experiences in this world have made me far more accepting of the humanness of bodies and sex.... I've seen close up quite a large variety of bodies, of different ways people give and experience pleasure, different noises they make, different preferences they have.... it's actually given me a new appreciation for how remarkable and natural bodies and sexual contact is.
I would say, in the sex club setting, in the public play rooms, one can feel a little pressure to 'perform', and men who are not used to that sometimes have challenges that they wouldn't normally.... but I've learned to get over those kind of pressures. It's actually an environment I which you need to become far more observant of your own pleasure, and boundaries and more confident expressing those. And you need a lot of body confidence! I have far, far from a perfect body, but I've learned to strut around and embrace who I am, and I've found a lot of people who find that very sexy! Overall, I've found it to be a very body positive environment.... but for sure you have to come in with a natural base of self confidence, or you get stuck in a painful comparisons game.....
So overall, I'd say the 'polite performance' aspect of being with a new partner is no more than it is in normal life.... possibly a bit less, because most people in this lifestyle have done a bit more work towards thinking through what they want, asking for it, etc.....