Being open about penis size with male partners

[BobOn]

Just wondering how many people are open about penis size preferences with their male partners?

DW is now very open about what she likes, however it’s taken her years to get over the “lie to protect his fragile male ego” upbringing.

We now have a much better sex life as a result.

so, for women that have a preference, just wondering how open you are about this? or for blokes, do you feel you’d want to know?

Hiya, no, as a bi bloke, I'm just fascinated by the difference! It makes it fun, and I don't do penetrative sex at all. Visually, in the hand and in the mouth, all sizes are just different experiences.

This is why I stopped dating all together 4 years ago. Both sexes can talk about being fat, skinny, tall, bald, big boobs, big muscles etc. Those are all looks. But for men like me we stand no chance today. Perhaps in the 50s when you got married young and had less sexpartners, women wouldn't know the difference and stay happy. As a average 6 incher but bad girth It takes big bite out of your soul and happiness knowing you can't fully satisfy the women you are with. This has taken me down dark paths and have had me suicidal at times. But at least I know that I will never have to go through divorce or live in a relationship where my wife tells me it's all fine while she is secretely disapointed and thinks about some bigger better penis in her past.

I Know this is an old thread but I think it’s super interesting to see other people’s opinions - as a male I have been at both ends of the spectrum.

I was larger than average pre Covid. I then developed Peyronies and then ED and I literally shrank in half . This was soul destroying!

I now have an implant and am marginally above average but knowing my penis can do things a natural one can’t I would take my now penis over my original and I hope any future partners would not walk away from a relationship because of it in the same way they might with a substantially smaller than average penis.

We listen and we don't judge...as I can't seem to name change here...

I've been separated the past few years and dated a bit. A few mini relationships etc

Slept with approx 15 women.

6 inches pretty much exact and ive been told decent girth.

I'd say 2 were underwhelmed

8 very happy

The remainder happy enough.

Which I think shows that most women are fine with men in the average category. I think men worry about this too much.

I know this is an old thread, and I wasn't going to comment, but now it's had a good run, I'll introduce a slightly "left field" thought.....mainly aimed at other chaps I guess.
If your wife/partner would quite like an "alternative style" cock from time to time, and we're talking just sex for fun, not looking for a new relationship, why are so many of us "threatened" by this?
Are our relationships really so fragile?

We all like different things - my husband is average length and not blessed with girth either. However, it’s the length that does it for me and I’ve been with girthier (but shorter in length) guys and I can barely feel it. But other women prefer thicker penises; we’re all made differently.

My husband thinks I need something bigger and it drives me crazy.

Please try not to be so hard on yourself (no pun intended there! 😆).

Ladies, given the choice would you prefer a larger than average 8’ er, or, a very average sized penis that could get hard on demand, stay hard for as long as you wanted and was harder than any natural penis you’ve ever had….

asking for a friend…

Always the natural one!

I've always felt the only comment should be yes it's perfect.

Because.. if we flip this, I would never forget it if I was told I was somehow not 'as good' as someone else. That's very wrong. It's not just to do with the mechanics/size/etc. - it's who the dick is actually attached to.

In my humble opinion.

Having said that, should DP's proportions be an impediment to full pleasure, there are ways of suggesting alternatives/additions without making some explicit comments about DP's body.

I think this is truly appalling behaviour and if a woman did this, well, then whoever it's directed at has dodged a bullet with her.

yes of course the larger than average natural one. It might be more sensitive and need a bit of coaxing but still.

Unfortunately/fortunately I was spoilt in my early years with a guy who I was with for about 8 months and have become a bit of a size lady as a result. He was an excellent lover when making love and would give me heaps of pleasure.
Have to say though if he was indulging in his form of drunken selfish shagging he could and did hurt me which want good at all.

I feel like being average like 6 inches or maybe .1 or two I will never truly truly be the one and only for my partner I will never truly truly be able to give her those extreme intense intimate feelings that are owned by some other dude and I have to just live with it Even if I don’t say anything about it just keep shut. It hurts so bad, especially when you really, really love somebody, I would never want her to sacrifice for me. It’s not my ego. It’s self-confidence self-worth just being worthy of being her man. I’m not I never will be How well I treat her no matter how I am in bed. I’ll just have to live the fact that I’m not really a man man, the man have big dick. They want all the women out there. Well my choice of words I don’t mean own, but they were the ones that can truly Make her feel like I mentioned earlier and brought me to suicide. Just haven’t pulled had enough confidence or courageto the trigger yet. Probably because I’m just not much of a man right I hate this world sometimes but I do appreciate the honesty hurt like hell, but you can’t improve by sugarcoating or accepting a sugarcoated answer and matter how bad it hurts you won’t ever change you have the truth.

Resurrecting.

I also have a preference for girth and I prefer a good 7 inch really, but can settle for 6" if the girth is wide enough. I'm not fond of dicks that 'taper'. My ex had the sort of cock that I liked best - girthy enough with a large head which used to give me vaginal orgasms all the time. It's the only thing I miss about him 😂and I try not to think about our sex life as it's just too upsetting to think I will likely not have sex like that again with anyone.

I've never found that discussing dick size with a partner to be a good thing (unless a previous partner was smaller, so current partner gets an ego boost!) and I admit that I have ended things because their penis size just didn't measure up, amongst other reasons 😊If I had sex in the future and was asked about penis size, I would try to avoid the question TBH, because as I say, these conversations never go well IME. 😟

But at least I know that I will never have to go through divorce or live in a relationship where my wife tells me it's all fine while she is secretely disapointed and thinks about some bigger better penis in her past.

That just isn't true though IME. Women may have a preference for a penis size in the way that some men prefer bigger boobs, but it's not worth dumping a decent man over; nor do any of the women I know fantasise about a previous partner when making love with their current one.

I would say that if affects you that much then there's more going on that penis size, and some therapy may help with that.

oh bless you and noooooo you have got this wrong..... you have got it all out of proportion because of the stupid hype about big dicks and porn etc etc. It is NOT TRUE that she can't have as much pleasure with you because you are just normal and standard (and also perfectly well-endowed at 6.1 or 6.2 inches).

It sounds like this has really got to you, and trust me I really do understand how sometimes things can seem too bad to live with. BUT, don't feel like that about something that isn't real or true.

There is one big point here:

A dick is only worth as much or as little as the person on the end of it.
So you being a caring and decent lover DOES make a massive difference.
And 6 inches is more than enough to satisfy any woman, especially if properly deployed!

And:

There genuinely are downsides to having a much bigger one, and although you might hear of guys swaggering around with big ones having all the women etc etc, there are for sure just as many who don't have anyone, or who have someone but she avoids it.

Your partner isn't missing out. She's got you. And you are also more than just your dick.

Also I think SHAPE is just as important if not more so than actual length.

And shape is a question of compatibility.

For example, in my whole life I had only ever encountered square or round-tipped ones apart from my first boyfriend who was more ergonomically shaped. Now I have finally stumbled by chance upon the tapered version and ....

well. Let's just say, it fits very nicely. And I thought I knew a lot and I realise I know f all about anything, but I am glad I have found this out!

that is not a good argument. I like big boobs yes. That’s visual. Some women prefer big muscles, hair, height etc, all visual. A girls boob size does not affect sensations during sex or orgasm strength. + women can change size of their boobs.

my 6 inches, pencil girth is not pleasurable for any woman, and women won’t tell the truth for obvious reasons. I’ve talked to guys who are big and I’ve seen sms conversations with women they date who are all crazy about their dicks. Girls don’t feel me and I know fingers won’t fix that. I am not what women want and therefore I have accepted it and stopped dating 4 years ago.

women have been controlled and abused in history. Now in the west, women have multiple sexual partners in their lives and thus men like me are in the bottom pit in terms of sexual satisfaction. No point in entering a relationship with a woman who prefers previous partners.

I have experienced only not being enough in all my sexual encounters. And observing how women from all parts of society go crazy about big dicks (I’ve seen texts from a friend who brags about his size) then you know that my looks, charm will be worth nothing as I drop my pants.

women come in many forms and sizes in pornography. Same for male actors. But you never se a male actor with less than a big dick, why? Of course its physics! A big fat one pushes nerve endings and fills up in a way my size can’t.

@ScottishZoe then recently started being honest if they fell short

This is not a great look. I've dumped many partners for a variety of physical reasons, but I'd never tell them the truth, even if they pushed me on it.

Yes it aligns with studies. Contrary to popular belief, only 40 % of men vs 80 % of women have procreated throughout history. Penises get bigger generation by generation, and bald men are declining generation by generation. Women are attracted to a small portion of the male population and it is those mens genes that live on. The game of evolution. One could hope that there would be more positive talk for men though since most of us are not attractive, since there is so much talk of women feeling insecure about their bodies etc.

This has been an eternal problem for me. Having an incredibly small penis has brought me a lifetime of ridicule and embarrassment.
I was at an all-boys school and was teased throughout it.

Then once I left school and started dating, it became very apparent that size mattered a lot, despite what the narrative says.

Do you have a citation for bald men? I agree it's important for some women, but most women will overlook it for other more important characteristics, as being bald is not a marker of anything from an evolutionary perspective.

A finnish newspaper called Yle quoted a recent study. Can’t remember the name of the study. They just stated that women are not attracted to bald men. But yes for companionship women look for other aspects. But in terms of short term hot sex, which usually takes place around the fertile phase of the month, women choose men that are attractive.

for me I don’t really care about studies or articles. Being both bald and having a too small penis, I gave up on dating 4-5 years ago. And reading threads like these just serve to assure myself of having made the right decision since there is nothing to gain for guys like me on the dating market. And no, I have nothing against women at all. Just a bit disappointed at God or evolution or whatever. But life is short and there are other things to enjoy and do while we are here.

My wife and I were very open about our past.. At first seems uncomfortable,then later on became very curious then it doesn't bother us anymore..most of her exes penis length were 4inches. I'm her 7th with also 4inches.. She had only two that was big, one was about 6inches.. The biggest was 7.5inches,that guy let her measured with ruler.. she said it was very huge and thick to watch,only painful at start because that guy's was very athletic when thrusting her..