Being open about penis size with male partners

[BobOn]

Just wondering how many people are open about penis size preferences with their male partners?

DW is now very open about what she likes, however it’s taken her years to get over the “lie to protect his fragile male ego” upbringing.

We now have a much better sex life as a result.

so, for women that have a preference, just wondering how open you are about this? or for blokes, do you feel you’d want to know?

@QueenVixen I always look at the dessert menu first though, because the rest of the meal is not as important in my eyes.

Oh we weren't talking about warmed triple chocolate brownies and iceceam there were we?

@QueenVixen completely agree, personally I love the "snacks" in-between "meals" too, particularly since I've recently found out my wife loves giving a cheeky quick BJ with no expectations in return

She's getting used to the idea of me giving her oral attention without anything in return too - she's accepted once and said she felt "so selfish" with a huge smile on her face - we were both pretty much clothed for the whole thing and it felt very kinky!

Sorry if I'm oversharing!

@BobOn
yeah it’s quite common to too see women laughing about penis size, which personally I think is some pretty shitty behaviour, you get what you get and that’s it really, you can go to the gym all you want but your dick is never gonna get any bigger,
expressing a preference is one thing, but laughing at people who will never physically meet that preference is shameful behaviour, but as you say it generally accepted

It doesn't bother me that much tbh, unless it's done in a way that's going to come back to the person being ridiculed - I'm not bothered on their behalf

I feel it says more about the person that's doing the ridiculing, it flags them as a person I probably don't want to know, and that's helpful as I want to be around people that are toxic!

I have sons and they're much more likely to make penis-size jokes than any female I've ever encountered - shouldn't it be a level playing field?

Contrary to what some people may think, I don't laugh at a guy or spread it around that he doesn't measure up.

I started telling guys the truth, because they would often ask if they did anything wrong, if they could have done some different. Whilst its not their fault they are too small for me, they can at least leave knowing the dates were great, but he just doesn't measure up.

I am guilty of having a laugh and joking about small ones with friends, but never in front of a guy, and wouldn't laugh at a guy due to them being small.

Hopefully the crap lines - "size doesn't matter" - "they're all pretty much the same size really" - "big guys are crap in bed, because they're all so selfish". Etc that you pointed out are rapidly heading to the scrap pile. There is nothing wrong with a woman saying Size Does Matter.

I know 5" is close to average, but I really do think most women find below 5" to be just far too small.

I've always been truthful if I was asked directly if they were my biggest. I'd have to end things someway if I was dating someone less than 7 inch and girthy, because I honestly wouldnt get much pleasure out of it.

Most dont ask and the ones that do some dont mind they're just curious, maybe some even like to hear about past history. Some were a bit miffed that I told them id had bigger though, in particular an ex who had 8.5" and thought he was gods gift.

All in all if they're large i'll say so but they cant really blame me if they want to know more detail and get the truth.

I think you also summed up a lot of what I think on the matter Zoe 😂

@ScottishZoe not sure if it’s just the way you express yourself or not, but why the constant use of derogatory language about the men who don’t meet your preference with regard to penis size?

he just doesn't measure up. << it’s like you are comparing someone to a prescribed standard? , why not just say your preference is for larger?

Just the way I express myself, and I do say kinder than that. More factual than derogatory

@ScottishZoe tbh, if a bloke’s small and you make up a reason for not seeing him again, chances are he’ll think it’s because of that reason AND because he’s small.

btw, you didn’t come across as making fun of smaller guys and I think it’s fine to say they don’t measure up.

Thanks, and I had previously made something up but then they would pester to how they could be different for future relationships. And well men don't to say anything about a woman's appearance, they can see that in advance and make the decision to not to ask us out or decline. Women don't have that same benefit of knowing what a man has when he asks us out.

Actually, it’s a two way street on that one as far I’m concerned, the disappointment can happen for both.

A male mate at uni lusted after my housemate for nearly two years. He eventually got it on with her.
the next day he was fuming, using derogatory terms like stick in a bucket and wizards sleeve, even though she was well known to have an ex who was famously hung.
she was disappointed too, but soon moved on.

Maybe there’s room for a dating app that acts as a matchmaker based on size preferences? It’s a bit embarrassing to put “I’ve got a small penis” on your profile, and sounds just wrong in soo many ways to say “looking for a woman with a tight fanjo”

@ChezzD it sounds like the 8.5” guy needed an ego reduction, so you probably did him a favour!

That’s very true

Only one guys ever asked me if I’m satisfied with the length / girth of their penis and he wasn’t that big. That said we had great sex and he made up for lack of size in other ways, and he wasn’t tiny. I of course said yes I was satisfied with the length, but I think he’s aware he’s probably a bit below average and that’s why he asks, just addresses it straight away. In fact the very first time we had sex and I grabbed his penis he told me the length of it 🤣. There are bonuses too, BJ’s not so gaggy, and he knows which positions are best to get the max benefit from it, so he’s clearly learned this over the years

>>Women don't have that same benefit of knowing what a man has when he asks us out.
another bizarre statement.
As far as I can see men very usually don't know much at all about any woman they may ask out in this "department".
If any "dared" to ask I imagine they would, quite rightly in my view, be given pretty, er, short, shrift.
But if you have any approved templates for the question, do feel free to share.

Are you being purposefully obtuse?

@pendleflyer
Are you asking how to approach a woman to ask about her penis size preference?

Or are you wanting to know how to ask how big a woman's vagina is without offending?

er neither.
wouldn't dream of asking either.
what a bizarre post.

no

@pendleflyer I don't think it's that bizarre, however maybe you didn't read the previous conversation?

Wouldn't the world be a better place if people could approach each other knowing they at least had the chance of meeting the other persons sexual needs instead of leaving it to chance?

This thread and others has loads of people saying that they put up with sexual incompatibility, sometimes for years.

yes bob there are lots of threads about sexual disatisfaction on here- very sad - usually something that has developed over years I think rather from "the off".

As for "the off" the first heady exploratory days I suppose I just think you have to accept a certain uncertainty originally. On many things. It's hardly as if a decision to have sex with someone is a once in a lifetime decision/jumping off a cliff and hoping for a good landing.

Maybe on certain specialist hook-up sites you could be upfront/explicit in your wants, but I still wouldn't dream of asking a woman that. And am pretty sure I'd get an outraged reaction if I did - from them and others if word spread. Could well imagine some outraged threads on here.

Of course I do have my preferences.

not looking for an argument I stress.

@pendleflyer I completely understand your points and I'm not looking for an argument either 🙂

Interestingly there are a couple of UK sites that I stumbled on, one for below average penises (dinky one dating) and the other for above average (big one dating). I'm not looking to use either and I don't have any association with them btw!

For those ladies who have expressed an interest, the above might be useful for when you're on the lookout?

bi guy here, and I can confirm the differences can be enormous - and what might look small or large at the start of the proceedings can be quite different by the end......

Hi @PrivateMolecule0 interesting to get your perspective.

If you have a size preference, are you open with partners about this, and at what stage?