Aibu - men on sex topic

[Anxiodogo]

AIBU to picture many of the men who respond as being Kevins from Motherland?
It's the way they are so caring and at pains to make sure all women know they are all beautiful and should feel amazing. And really, they could never spank or choke Jill even if she wanted to because it wouldn't feel respectful or right.

Yes, it’s women’s fault. 🙄

One of the male posters on this post has responded to a thread on a different post with the comment.
”There’s a name for that!” Clearly the toxic masculinity is coming out.

@Coffeeandcake15 what was the context?

There is a name for it...trolling. You're accusing other posters of having no standards for their children and gaslighting. Your posts come across as incredibly aggressive with no room for other points of view.

Something is toxic but I'm not sure its me

Really? My posts were aggressive, what when a woman or man, who knows? addressed the message to me as ‘For the love of god, woman!’
There was a huge amount of minimising and gaslighting on the thread, that’s not aggressive or toxic to point out. You do also realise it’s not acceptable to refer to people as trolls on here? You could have been polite in your message to me but were clearly triggered by me pointing out that some parents have better standards for their children and they don’t want support staff at schools ‘yanking their children!’

Why does there have to be a context? He was insinuating I was a troll, as I had a difference of opinion.

Your posts came across as very confrontational to many other posters which caused the 'for the love of god' comment (which wasn't me).

I have no problem with differences of opinion about standards but you outright stating someone had no standard of care for their children comes across as wildly over the top, demeaning, insulting and inflammatory.

That might not be your intention, I don't know but I don't see anything wrong in saying that's what it looks like.

I’ve just read that thread, it’s a strange one. There is no reason a teacher should handle a child like that when they’re reluctant to go into school. I agree that if you’re ok with school staff doing that, your standards for your kids are on the floor.

If a child was fighting then there may be reason to physically remove a child from that situation for their safety and the safety of others. But for a child upset at going into school, never. It could cause more emotional harm to force them.

So you missed the numerous posts of minimising and gaslighting and posters accusing the OP of making it up and chose to pick up on my comment because I didn’t agree that a child should be yanked into school. With an ever-growing mental health crisis for children I do not believe that children should be yanked or pulled into school by teachers, it doesn’t set a good standard if children think it’s ok to be pulled into an environment they may find overwhelming not to mention the many additional needs of children who struggle with school environments, we can’t all expect children to go into school happy everyday, there will be days where children need patience and reassurance, their emotions do matter. I’d never pull/yank an adult so why would people find it acceptable to do that to a small child. Anyway I think my points been made and I stand by my opinion.

I wouldn’t pay much attention to his posts, he has quite the reputation on many threads here and on other sites.

@Coffeeandcake15 as I said on the thread I honestly think it depends on the OPs definition of yanking, it really isn't clear.

I suspect what was potentially overwhelming for the child was the situation of no other children around because they were late but in either case the child wasn't at all distressed according to the OP.

I've not got any problem with your opinion, none of us know because we weren't there and it's fine if yours is different to mine.

I was only commenting on how your posts were coming across and I'm not sure why you brought that to this thread with accusations of toxic masculinity.

The toxic masculinity was a result of you saying, ’There is a name for it!’ You were insinuating I was something but didn’t disclose what.

@Coffeeandcake15 your posts do come across as confrontational and that, coupled with the OP changing pertinent details, makes me understand where @Surplus2requirements & the other so called ‘gaslighting’ posters were coming from. Moving forward, from a safeguarding perspective, if a parent/carer believes that their child has been on the receiving end of undue force they should raise their concerns immediately. Why would they leave their child in their care for the rest of the day?

@Surplus2requirements Anyway as the thread here is now being de-railed, apologies to the OP. I will leave it here.

It’s very sad when women stand by other men who call other women names and back it up with it depends on context and also you’ve just basically said it’s ok to gaslight people if they don’t agree with you, gaslighting is recognised abusive behaviour in itself.
I see you spend a lot of time on this board defending men @Mermaidparades and that’s entirely up to you but in a world of toxic masculinity and a world where men abuse, rape and murder women everyday, maybe you need to look at the reason behind this and look out for women a bit more than the men.

@Coffeeandcake15 thank you for the character analysis. In a world where I have already been on the receiving end of several serious sexual assaults, I have chosen to believe that all men are not evil and fucked up. That way madness (and bitterness) lies. I will continue to take people as I find them.

You asked me what the context was behind the male poster calling me a name. That’s a little victim blaming, don’t you think and then you was ready to protect the male poster by telling me the reaction was justified. That says all I need to know about you as a person. For all means, carry on protecting the men on here at the detriment of another woman.

Also I do not believe all men are fucked up and evil, I base my assumptions on their words and actions.

Why would they leave their child in their care for the rest of the day?

Really? You can’t think why a person would feel that they ‘should’ trust authority, like a school, and would worry about questioning them or doubt themselves. That’s certainly how many women are made to feel daily.

Do you question women on not acting the ‘correct’ way in other situations? Why didn’t they fight back, speak up, do something? 🤔

There was that thread the other day where a woman had been violated by her husband and surprise, surprise, who showed support for the husband? Bet you can’t guess. 😏

Ah I'm sorry, I described how your posts were coming across and the 'name' bit was related to my previous post of saying it looked as if you were trolling (which I appreciate is a MN faux pas) though I wasn't 'troll hunting' as such.
I'm happy to withdraw any troll reference and appogise for it.

Words on a page can easily be misconstrued.
I took yours to be inflammatory towards another woman and you took mine as toxic masculinity.

I hope both of us were wrong

Being fair there were many different opinions on that thread from a wide variety of people.

It's unfair to single anyone out for sharing an opinion with many others

Ok so you’re happy to name call a woman but at the same time call my opinion inflammatory? Also how do you know those posters were women?

My point still stands, I will stand by it, if a child accepts being yanked and pulled into school by teachers as normal behaviour, then that’s not setting them up to have good boundaries. Again, we would not pull/yank another person so why would we assume it’s ok to do it to a child. I really do believe to accept that as parents, it shows a lack of standards for your children.

No. @SavedByDogs is right to point it out when we have a poster that time and time again goes against women and defends indefensible men. This has been raised on many threads on mumsnet in the last month or so. It’s not unfair, it’s just facts.