Sexless marriage - circumstances

hanketypankety · 2023-01-08T16:31:11+00:00

If anyone is in a sexless marriage, how old are you? How long has it been? I'm 40, 1 DC and haven't had sex for 1 year. I'm in a state of mind right now that I think about it a lot in terms of we should be doing it, but I also don't really want to do it. Not looking for the usual posts of 'leave him!', 'how can you live like this' etc etc. just wondering who else is out there like me and going through the same thing. Please be kind [blush]

sexyporridge · 08/01/2023 16:36

There are so many in your position. I am 37 and I’ve had sex with H I think once in 3-4 years. None at all for the last 2 years. You are very much not alone.

Uap60 · 08/01/2023 16:36

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

ATabulaRasa · 08/01/2023 16:38

Man here in pretty much same position. There are lots of us, M and F in same position for lots of different reasons. It’s almost as if someone needs to start a support group but having that many horny people in the same room may not be the best idea

Original poster

hanketypankety · 08/01/2023 16:42

ATabulaRasa · 08/01/2023 16:38

Man here in pretty much same position. There are lots of us, M and F in same position for lots of different reasons. It’s almost as if someone needs to start a support group but having that many horny people in the same room may not be the best idea

Would be such a great idea 😂

OP posts:

sexyporridge · 08/01/2023 16:44

ATabulaRasa · 08/01/2023 16:38

Man here in pretty much same position. There are lots of us, M and F in same position for lots of different reasons. It’s almost as if someone needs to start a support group but having that many horny people in the same room may not be the best idea

I think there’s a name for rooms like that!

ATabulaRasa · 08/01/2023 16:47

sexyporridge · 08/01/2023 16:44

I think there’s a name for rooms like that!

Show quote history

😂

WagyuBeef · 08/01/2023 17:09

I'm in the same position (m45). DW's pre-diabetic and it really seems to have affected her libido plus we're mismatched in terms of size so if she's not really into it, it ends up hurting both of us.

My DW has repeatedly told me to 'get professional help' but I don't like the idea of going to prostitutes.

I'd really like a FWB but I've got no idea how to get one. I've tried a website called Illicit Encounters but there's hardly anyone on it, usually fewer than a thousand people online in the whole country, men and women.

I do have single female friends but I've no idea how to approach the subject.

WagyuBeef · 08/01/2023 17:28

@hanketypankety He can't force you to have sex with him, obviously, but also he can't force you to be celibate. If you wanted to be a nun you'd have joined a nunnery so I think you are within your rights to get an FWB under these circumstances.

MovingonfromMartin · 08/01/2023 18:08

Get yourself over to the sexchat thread. Full of us in the same boat with mismatched/ sexless marriages.

ATabulaRasa · 08/01/2023 18:15

MovingonfromMartin · 08/01/2023 18:08

Get yourself over to the sexchat thread. Full of us in the same boat with mismatched/ sexless marriages.

I pmd her to say same thing. It’s definitely helped me

Crestaq · 08/01/2023 18:27

MovingonfromMartin · 08/01/2023 18:08

Get yourself over to the sexchat thread. Full of us in the same boat with mismatched/ sexless marriages.

Do y'all fuck each other or only chat?

sexyporridge · 08/01/2023 18:35

Crestaq · 08/01/2023 18:27

Do y'all fuck each other or only chat?

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@Crestaq
Just chat - sadly.

Joey69 · 08/01/2023 18:38

@hanketypankety M (53), DW has gone through menopause and now has 0 sex drive, and no interest in doing anything

stereoboomer · 08/01/2023 19:18

MovingonfromMartin · 08/01/2023 18:08

Get yourself over to the sexchat thread. Full of us in the same boat with mismatched/ sexless marriages.

Agreed. There are loads of us on the sexchat thread. Come and join us. Lots of really friendly people just looking for a bit of fun. Join in if you want to, if not - don't.

KirstyMac74 · 08/01/2023 19:29

No sex for 2 years and it is driving me mad x

MovingonfromMartin · 08/01/2023 19:37

Crestaq · 08/01/2023 18:27

Do y'all fuck each other or only chat?

Show quote history

That would be the orgy chat thread

Fred12345 · 08/01/2023 20:02

Man here for reference. Like other contributors, I am in a sexless marriage. It used to be about once a month, dwindling to once a year if that. Now seems to have stopped completely. I fully accepted a person's right whether or not to have sex. What hurts is having a sexless relationship imposed. I have tried to talk about it but the conversation is always shutdown. It is difficult to accept that my sex life is over.

KirstyMac74 · 08/01/2023 20:07

Fred12345 · 08/01/2023 20:02

Man here for reference. Like other contributors, I am in a sexless marriage. It used to be about once a month, dwindling to once a year if that. Now seems to have stopped completely. I fully accepted a person's right whether or not to have sex. What hurts is having a sexless relationship imposed. I have tried to talk about it but the conversation is always shutdown. It is difficult to accept that my sex life is over.

I’m 100% same x

Joey69 · 08/01/2023 20:25

Fred12345 · 08/01/2023 20:02

Man here for reference. Like other contributors, I am in a sexless marriage. It used to be about once a month, dwindling to once a year if that. Now seems to have stopped completely. I fully accepted a person's right whether or not to have sex. What hurts is having a sexless relationship imposed. I have tried to talk about it but the conversation is always shutdown. It is difficult to accept that my sex life is over.

Yep, exactly the same here, I have had celibacy imposed on me.

WithTheirDogAfterTheWar · 08/01/2023 20:47

We were married nearly 27 years, last 3 1/2 with no sex and hardly any physical affection at all. Just suddenly stopped. I did talk to him about it every now and again and he just said he wasn't really interested in that side of things any more. I also said to him multiple times that I couldn't live like that, it was killing me. It wasn't the only thing that finished our marriage off but the lack of communication was a major part of it.

Funberry · 08/01/2023 21:08

this is me!

AverageGuy · 09/01/2023 08:13

All. I was in a sexles marriage for 10 years... Don't ask me why, but I kept trying - lots of different approaches, but nothing worked, so we (amicably) split. I'm now 60 and single, and really struggling to find a partner with the same appitite & attitude, so beware...

On previous threads, I've (very much tongue in cheek) suggested those that are in a similar situation get together in a hotel for a weekend of, er, support...

But part of me does wonder...

ATabulaRasa · 09/01/2023 08:33

@AverageGuy Maybe you should organise and see what uptake you get!

sexyporridge · 09/01/2023 08:50

I can just see the Daily Mail headline now…

BasicItch · 10/01/2023 20:44

I’m not but if I were I would feel zero guilt in looking elsewhere for a FWB because that is really depressing. I do know several female friends in this position usually they don’t fancy or even like their OH any more.