Going to my first swingers party in 3 weeks

[areyouhavingagiraffe]

Hi all, Yup, so as the subject line ways, heading to my first "party" in a few weeks. As a single woman. Think there will be about 50 people there, couples, and some singles. Have wanted to try this for a while, but am very nervous. Have paid for my hotel accommodation already (it is in another City) so that way I don't chicken out.
Have any of you been to anything like this? It is through the FAB site, which I have seen posts of on MN

You might get more traffic over in the sex board (and possibly less judgement!).

I'd be interested in hearing how you get on.

I've been to a swingers party as part of a couple. Don't agonise over what to wear, anything goes. Don't agonise over your body or being naked, so much variety of shapes and sizes.

Check the fab forums to see if there's a chat going with other people who will be there, maybe see if you can meet someone for a drink first?

"I'm Louis Theroux, I'm Louis Theroux and his wry smile at the orgy."

Will you be safe? Are you comfortable having weirdos touching you? Are you not going to be grossed out in reality?

Your post title made me laugh... I read it as if you'd had 3 weeks off your normal swinging party schedule! Like dry Jan...

No judgement. I'm curious!

Why would you refer to consenting adults of legal age as weirdos. Just because it's not something you're not into. Very rude

That was for @Wiseupkid

I think the reality will be very different. People's smell, being strangers, hairy bits and once you have an orgasm do you not want to just disappear or sleep! If op wants to it is up to her, but wondering whether it will just be quite sordid for most people's tastes.

The men in the couples are generally older and not attractive. The women generally don’t want to be there, but are trying to ensure their husbands stay with them.
The sex rooms are horrid.
From experience……..
You may feel different though…..

It is at a hotel, I have a room booked so I can disappear when I am ready to sleep :-)
I dunno what it will be like, just curious. @WanderingLost167, thanks, I was agonising over what to wear!

Lynn, these are sex people! They're sex swappers.

@username1987a

Lynn, these are sex people! They're sex swappers.

🤣

I wore a black dress, and then changed into like a lace sort of lingerie dress thing, see through with lingerie. Some will just wear towels, or bra and thong.. Anything goes

Gross 🤢

Ahem.

We're moving this over to the Sex topic now.

Why is it gross

@Wiseupkid

I think the reality will be very different. People's smell, being strangers, hairy bits and once you have an orgasm do you not want to just disappear or sleep! If op wants to it is up to her, but wondering whether it will just be quite sordid for most people's tastes.

Maybe parties can vary a lot @Wiseupkid and maybe people are highly aware of their perceived hygiene in such settings, but yeah......

......aren't people put off by the armpitesque, yeasty, sweatycummy smell of men they're not attracted to??? It would make me retch. Hope it's a big spacious place with a lot of ventilation and separate rooms.

If its in Nuneaton (I used to work at the hotel they "played" at) then you will be in safe hands, they are very welcoming to newbies.

@Wiseupkid

Will you be safe? Are you comfortable having weirdos touching you? Are you not going to be grossed out in reality?

Of course it's safe. And certainly way safer than hooking up with someone you meet on a night out, or through a dating app.

No one's going to touch you if you don't want them to. And who says they're weirdos - the op has the same mindset as them, does that make her a weirdo too?

Being a single woman at one of these events may make you stand out a bit more than you'd like on your first time.

@BarbaraLoganPrice

"I'm Louis Theroux, I'm Louis Theroux and his wry smile at the orgy."

Hehe! This gave me a good laugh, classic Mark Corrigan 🤣

I have been on and of Fab for a couple of years and have been to a couple of parties and clubs.
In my experience its true that non attractive men have an expectation to play with far more attractive women. In clubs there is no touching allowed unless requested but at the parties I felt there was pressure to join in with sexual activities.
I suppose it depends what you are looking for really. If you are not bothered about physical attraction then you might enjoy it.

Weirdos
Sordid
Gross

Nice judgement there of adults having consensual sex

Usual Mumsnet judgment on anything vaguely outside the boundaries of conventional sex... 🙄

50 people will be a nice amount, OP. There were over 600 at the last KK party I went to and it was a bit overwhelming. That said, the entertainment and music was great so I just danced with my pals whenever I needed to decompress.

My tips would be...

Only do what you're comfortable with. The vast majority of people will be welcoming and let you go at your own pace, so you shouldn't feel any pressure.

Obviously you should always ask before touching anyone. "That looks fun. Mind if I join in?" Don't take it personally if you get a polite No or shake of the head. Just smile and move on.

Take a little bag with breath mints, condoms, lube and wet wipes. Many parties don't allow phones so I use a runners wristband to store my bank card for payments at the bar.

Don't get too drunk. Pissed and consent don't mix well!

Oh.. and perhaps take a robe or similar if you want to cover up whilst going for a drink or chatting in between play. Climbing back into your knickers at the bar isn't so sexy!

And, for gods sake, keep your shoes on at all times! 😂

@PinotPony, loving the advice on shoes....
Okay, so when I spoke to the organisers, they told me that "the women call the shots" at their events. i.e, that I have to make the first move if I am interested. So that makes me feel a bit more comfortable that people won't be groping me! Ha, but equally not sure if I am brave enough to make the first move. Anyway, it is out of town, and I am going to make a nice weekend of it!