Death grip... too much wanking makes the man unable to ejaculate when having sex with a woman?

[Confusednet]

True or not? I've had mixed opinions on this - some say it's not a thing others say it certainly is. It ticks all the boxes in regards to my experience with one man. Before this I'd never even heard of death grid.

Would be interesting to also get a man's POV.

I always believed it but read yesterday that the man who came up with the idea of death grip also came up with something called dead vagina and he said women who can't orgasm through penis in vagina are like that because they use vibrators too much.

What a crock!

Bollocks.

And who said romance was dead?

I think there’s potentially a grain of truth in that if someone is used to masturbating in a specific way, they may find it more difficult to orgasm with a partner, especially in a casual or new relationship. However this is by no means universal.

It’s true!

I believe it does happen, however I think often it's used as an explanation for every sort of male sex problem on mums net. I believe in some cases both men and women get used to a certain way that works for them, then struggle if their partner doesn't use the same way

Everytime there's any type of sexual performance issue there's a hundred comments blaming the man for porn use or implying it's self inflected

If a woman said she was having sexual dysfunction the replies are a lot more sympathetic

Men also experience hormone issues, meds side effects, sexual preferences, feelings of pressure, stress, performance, loss of libido due to social factors just like women do (including all the needing affection style posts we see regularly)

I think porn desensitizes you mentally rather than wanking desensitizes you physically

I don't think you can death grip yourself out of physical sensation, it's not really how stimulating your dick works IME.

I think death grip is perhaps the wrong term, but if you "train" yourself to only orgasm one way by only masturbating a certain way then it will take a long while to learn to do it another. Men and women can fall victim to this.

I wouldn't agree so much the grip as they are used to coming solo and then being able to mentally 'let go' in front of someone.
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It's not about 'too much' waking, it's about gripping really hard. If you're very used to a very hard grip then I think it's possible that a soft vagina won't do it for you.

I know using a vibrator or not has not relation to orgasming from PIV but using a vibrator a lot does make it harder for me to orgasm from using my fingers. Having a break from using a vibrator is all that's needed though, so I guess it would be the same with a death grip.

@Tal45

It's not about 'too much' waking, it's about gripping really hard. If you're very used to a very hard grip then I think it's possible that a soft vagina won't do it for you.

I know using a vibrator or not has not relation to orgasming from PIV but using a vibrator a lot does make it harder for me to orgasm from using my fingers. Having a break from using a vibrator is all that's needed though, so I guess it would be the same with a death grip.

Just asked my OH what he thought and he said he didn't think it existed, he could see the logic but wasn't really convinced! So I may be completely wrong.

It's not in the slightest bit true. Concocted by a disproven quack along with his dead vagina theory.

Mumsnet loves it though as it shifts all blame for a partner not achieving orgasm onto porn (the devil according to mumsnet)

‘’’death grid’ - sounds like something kinky to do with electricity 🤣

It's true. I know 2 women who've artificially inseminated due to death grip.

I though it was something that Mr Spock did in Star Trek to incapacitate someone (the Vulcan Death Grip).
Perhaps he did the other one too, could that be why his ears were so pointy?

Almost all men masturbate, or so we're led to believe, since like forever. Therefore shouldn't almost all men suffer from this so called "death grip", and be unable to ejaculate through normal sex? Therefore, shouldn't the human race have died out years ago?!

I believe orgasms are enhanced by joint emotional and physical connection. The power of a woman to bring a man to orgasm with her body is phenomenal. It is often the woman who is the driver of a man's orgasm, not the man.

There is no emotional connection for a man when wanking to porn. There is when wanking to memory of being with a woman, often a particular woman.

It is largely, I believe, that those who are unable to ejaculate have become de-sensitised due to porn and that is largely because they are lacking in some emotion. Leaving health reasons aside of course, such as cancer and certain medical treatments.

Why do you think you might be unreasonable, OP?

I’m a man, and I’ve done a lot of wanking in my time and a fair bit of sexing.
My thoughts;

1. If “death grip” anorgasmia, like so much other chlorinated tripe in our current culture, is an American import, it might be something valid to do with men who have been circumcised. Personally I have no idea how one would go about wanking without a foreskin, but I can imagine it involves friction, chafing, and maybe some death gripping?
2. Libido is on an axis of output/input, and this becomes more important and tenuous as one ages. Personally I have small children and my partner and I will schedule in sex ahead of time. Sexy, yes, I know. Anyway I won’t wank for 24 hrs or so before a session is scheduled, as I’m in my 40s and tragically there is just not that much lead in my pencil anymore. Wanking on the other hand I still do once, sometimes twice a day. It’s a completely different thing, physically and psychologically.

@Tal45

It's not about 'too much' waking, it's about gripping really hard. If you're very used to a very hard grip then I think it's possible that a soft vagina won't do it for you.

I know using a vibrator or not has not relation to orgasming from PIV but using a vibrator a lot does make it harder for me to orgasm from using my fingers. Having a break from using a vibrator is all that's needed though, so I guess it would be the same with a death grip.

I agree. I was using my vibrator a lot and having to turn it up more then when DH went down on me it was taking longer to finish so I reduced my use of it.

Men wanking loads more due to porn.

It is a thing; mental and physical.

Be pleased if you remain unaware of it un relation to your life.

True. I've experienced it (DH did anyway). So yes, the guy who coined the term was a twat, the issue is genuine.

@Magnited

I believe orgasms are enhanced by joint emotional and physical connection. The power of a woman to bring a man to orgasm with her body is phenomenal. It is often the woman who is the driver of a man's orgasm, not the man.

There is no emotional connection for a man when wanking to porn. There is when wanking to memory of being with a woman, often a particular woman.

It is largely, I believe, that those who are unable to ejaculate have become de-sensitised due to porn and that is largely because they are lacking in some emotion. Leaving health reasons aside of course, such as cancer and certain medical treatments.

I don't really agree with your first paragraph. Most men can come from fucking just about any orifice available to them. It's kind of like saying, "the power of a fleshlight to bring a man to orgasm is phenomenal".

Your statement does not agree to mine though, which was more subtle.

It has the same truth as toy use ="dead vagina", I reckon. ie a tiny amount of truth, easily sorted.

The constant attribution of any form of male sexual problem to DEATH GRIP!!1! is a bit daft.