To want sexy photos of us in the bathroom?

[crazykoo124]

Strange title I know

Weve finally moved into our new house and I’ve finally got my dream of my walk in wardrobe and an en-suite (small to be fair, but nevertheless a dream come true for me). We took some “sexy photos” a while ago professionally which were supposed to just be for us and we loved them but haven’t shown anyone! (Think embracing topless in jeans from the back but tasteful in black and with no nudity shown). I’d really love to put them in my wardrobe or my bathroom, as this will only be used by us, but he’s worried about others seeing😥 no kids at home by the way but nieces and nephews do visit but are v small at the moment

Is it a stupid idea? I think we look great and I think he’s being a bit of a prude if I’m honest!

Would you ever do the same??

@PinotPony

Going against the grain here but I think professional nude images can be beautiful. If you're proud of your body or your relationship, why not have something to remind you of that.

I dropped 2 stone, regained my confidence and had a boudoir photo shoot at 40. I can look back when I'm a wrinkly 80 year old and remember that I was once sexy! 😂 I have my favourite photo on the bedroom wall. Couldn't give a shit what visitors think. If they're in my bedroom, they know me well enough.

That said, I'm not convinced that you should pressure DH into displaying an image that he's not comfortable with. It's his body and his house too.

I'm not attacking the taste at all, I agree that they can be beautiful. I'm planning on a fitness shoot once I've got to my peek physique, understandably that won't be everyone's taste but it's what I want to do. However if I had a boudoir shoot done with a partner I wouldn't put them on display if the other person wasn't comfortable. There's two peoples feeling to consider and the one who is uncomfortable trumps the other I'm afraid. No one should feel pressure to have naked photos done or them put on the walls of their house.

There's two peoples feeling to consider and the one who is uncomfortable trumps the other I'm afraid. No one should feel pressure to have naked photos done or them put on the walls of their house.

This sums it up perfectly.

not if he doesnt want them up no

and hes not being a prude

Be interesting if you need to call an emergency plumber!

If he doesn't feel comfortable with them up or being seen by other people then I wouldn't. Why not make an album instead? Print the pictures and put them in an album that only you two will see? That way you can still have them to look at, but not on display where other people could possibly see them?

Not the same thing but when we got married I wanted the traditional bride lifting the dress for the husband to see the garter, then to remove it with his teeth. But I would never ever feel comfortable doing that in front of other people (my top half even remained completely covered while I was giving birth as there was no need for it not to be). I never wanted him to toss it either. So when we went to change into our reception clothes, the two of us done it in private. I lifted my dress and he took a few pictures. Then he removed it with his teeth. After we printed the pictures privately and put them in a small album that will never been seen by anyone else.
It was nice to have the moment in private, to me it's no one else's place to see that happen. The only 3 people who ever saw my garter were the person who made it (was personalised), my husband and I. The only 2 who saw it on were my husband and I.
And I know a lot of people hate the idea of that but I wanted to do it, just privately not publicly.

Oh my word!! I had no clue this thread would blow up so much - sorry I’ve not been active. Also sorry I cannot reply to everyone’s messages, wish I could but it is appreciated, so thank you.
Just to make it clear to a few that have jumped to conclusions - NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS would I put anything in OUR home that my DH wouldn’t agree to. I respect his choices just as I’d want mine to be respected, so please don’t give me any lectures on how horrible I’m being, it was just an idea!!

He’s been reading this thread for about 20 mins having a good laugh and we really like a suggestion a few people have made, we’re gonna go with a lovely framed bedside photo that we can stash away at a moments notice if need be! PS please note I didn’t force him to do the shoot, he was a bit reluctant but he also loved how they turned out, I’m not an evil goblin I promise!!
However it wasn’t a very revealing photo, I’d be ok with the odd family member seeing it by accident as it is more intimate than revealing/any nudity, my bare back and his bare arm are the only things visible.
I realise it’s not up to everyone’s taste, which is exactly why I’d never want it bang in the middle of my my living room wall anyways!
I do have a couple photos of just myself but I wanted something that has both of us in it, I’d seem a bit self obsessed haha.

Wish some people were a little kinder in their comments but a big thank you to everyone who’s given us suggestions - very much appreciated by both of us!!

OP I think it's best to be mindful that saying things like you had to push him into doing it and wanting confirmation that you were right to keep bugging him will be seen as trying to push someone's boundaries and therefore coercing them into consenting.

That he now claims to like the photos doesn't negate the fact that he was pushed into it. Imagine hearing "I had to push her a bit to have sex but she ended up enjoying it". That may seem an extreme comparison but our bodies, our choice whether we are female or male.

It never hurts to revisit the topic of consent.

Clearly there was a consent issue here and it looks as if everybody is now happy.

You can even get swivelling self standing double sided photo frames, which might be useful.

But l’m amazed at some of the comments here about taste and more; this goes beyond the consent issue.

My sister has a tasteful framed quality photo of us both topless in the sea in her bedroom, l’m relaxed with that.

Bodies are only sexual in a sexualised setting.

I'm glad you're finding a way forward, but when you talk about bugging someone into doing something and wanting to know if you are unreasonable to continue to badger someone then to strangers reading a thread that does sound like it's pushy and bordering on coercive (as in if I keep raising it over and over then he might agree and then I claim that he doesn't mind because he agreed).
It's a bit unreasonable to think people are being awful for commenting on what you've said.

Every time I see thread title I think OP is talking about doing a couples photo shoot in the bathroom!

@LolaSmiles As I have said again and again, I’m not sure why others have made this into a consent issue. I realise that it’s a community problem and everyone has a duty to educate themselves on it, but I am perfectly aware and would never dream of doing anything without anyone else’s consent.
As you will have read, if you bothered to do so, I have not bugged my DH any more about the topic - rather we’ve discussed like mature adults and he’s reading this thread with me!! Even he’s annoyed people are so quick to assume I’d ever do anything against my DH consent- especially to do with a photo of his body.
I think people are being nasty as they’ve assumed I’ve gone “can we can we can we”.

I fully understand why people think this way, and that consent should be revisited and everyone should educate themselves on it - however when I have made clear I have my DH consent and that we are on this thread together, please stop making it a consent issue!!!

Trying to persuade your DH to put up a photo isn’t abuse - doing so without permission and unreasonably nagging them is and I have not done this!! Does everyone not have discussions on what to do in life with their spouses?? I understand the difference regardless and I respect his decisions too. I am however happy that it seems that times have moved on and consent is respected in such a way and especially as a woman this makes me feel much safer, so I suppose thank you as well.

Sorry @LolaSmiles that was not all aimed at you!! Just a general disclaimer

And he was not forced into getting the photos done!! His sister bought us a photo shoot as an anniversary present, and when we called them up they gave us a few options, of which one was an “intimate” style. We were both a little bit worried about how comfortable we would feel, but we were told we could cover up and change their setting as much as we’d like. Once we began the shoot we decided we were ok to go with the topless jeans style, and we came home with lots of copies and big smiles! I’m not a nasty person I promise

The way you've phrased it all now is totally different to how you did before. You usesd the words push and bug but now have said you didn't do that. No one's saying you're nasty, it more seems as though you don't understand.