I'm in agreement with Gorgon. I have never been on the scene. I do though know others who have and are. I have read here and elsewhere all about how wonderful it is, all about safe words, safe, sane, consensual, all about other people's experiences, I've read the usual narrative "the sub has all the power" and I call bullshit on it.
A guy I know would be many subs dream Dom, wealthy, erudite, very very clever, intellectual and very sadistic. He told me he does it because it's a legal way to get the high he needs to get off. He likes subjecting women to pain. He gets off on seeing women suffer. He can sadistically get off on causing real harm and it's legal. He's not a nice man. He's a charismatic man.
Some people are forced to top from the bottom because, it certainly fits the narrative "the sub has all the power" it's so ridiculous. If the sub has all the power then no one's getting off. What sort of mental gymnastics is involved in saying day is night. It's not authentic.
Limits......well people talk of soft and hard limits. Soft limits can be pushed, hard limits not so.....error sadist will only get off if he's pushing you or there is a real possibility of pushing you beyond your limits. If something has a limit, it's limited, you can't have two limits differentiated by the same thing.....a limit. It's either a hard limit or no limit. It's like saying a boundary can be found in two places, it's either a boundary or it isn't. So a soft limit can not exist, it is impossible. So, you can't be authentic, you play. That's where the idea comes from. You have a scene, you play.ike you played tea parties and learned to negotiate the narrative. Except playing is not authentic and as stated above sadists get off on causing pain, and subspace isn't something you play at being in!
Safe, sane, consensual. It's often not safe mentally, physically or emotionally. Sane, well it's not because it requires people to tie their heads in knots. Consensual, see above above about limits. Plus if it's a well worked out Scene, scripted to within an inch it's inauthentic and rather dull. But sadists don't like scripts they like inflicting real harm, pushing a limit (and ultimately there is only one limit....a hard limit) is not sticking to the script of a scene. Only by breaking the agreement can a sadist get off.
The community is full of people tying their own heads in knots, it's full of contradictions and double speak.
I am interested though in why Bluntness keeps saying hit with heavy objects. I have no doubt some might go in for it, but I'd say that's very weird and extreme. Short, burning, searing, stinging sensations yes, being clobbered with a heavy blunt object......weird.