AdventuresRUs, I have always had a sort of antenna, I can tell. I don't mean I can look round a room and find a practiced Dom, I can tell if a man is naturally inclined to be dominant, by the way they behave. Little things like holding the door open and where he placed his hands on my back, the amount of pressure, the way he handles other people in the environment, body language can tell you a lot if you watch. He was confident, assured, he knows how to speak to people, how to influence, how to get things done, completely attentive to me. I flirted making little jokes about being a brat, he responded by saying I'd go over his knee, and various other stuff, but it was more about the dynamic than sex. He's intelligent, emotionally intelligent, articulate and attentive.
He's never had a relationship with a sub. He's never been on the scene. He has developed over time, he has learned me. Like all people he has his issues, but he dealt with it, he is very protective of me and he listens and responds to me. He has always done exactly what he says he will do.
When I was at uni the first day this very stunning woman said "let's go for coffee later" very direct. Two hrs later she says "you are a sub" out of nowhere. She is too. She has this same ability to read people. She's now one of my dearest friends and I hope she finds a home, because she's a bit lost. And until you meet the right person you don't really know just how lost you were. Like a lot of people wired up this way it's not easy to find the right person, and find love.
Took me until I was 40 to be honest with myself. I've been extremely fortunate to be so happy. And despite being submissive, I've never been treated badly by any man, and in day to day life I'm assertive and anything but fluffy!