to be ridiculously excited to have just booked tickets for a swinging club for NYE party?

[goodcompany2]

First time without kids on NYE in 7 years and excited!!!

We were always very careful with protection but there is never oral protection
There is oral protection, you chose not to use it.
I'm sorry you ended up with an STI, but protection is your own responsibility.

prime genuine question, how do you protect from stis if a man is giving oral sex to a woman?

I get that a man can wear condom when receiving oral.

But I genuinely didn't know there was protection that can be used if a man is giving to a woman.

If you want to be truly "naughty" have sex with a woman with no men involved, watching or being told about it afterwards. Not involving men n any way at all, is what is really forbidden.

'Cos you know, it didn't happen if some bloke didn't witness it 😀

Enjolrass ...as someone who has undulged (albeit not in a public setting in a club) I strongly disagree that it addresses patriarchy etc.. .its just a bit of fun. Its sex bot a friggin women's studies course

Cleaty you keep coming back with digs about other people's fun ...why does it bother you so much what people do to enjoy themselves? Why do you feel you need to criticise them over and over? They are consenting adults so why do you feel so threatened by that?

"Not" not "bot" (Freudian slip?)

Heh

Definitely true re the oral sex....I caught chlamydia once through oral sex...not from a swinger but from a boyfriend! Swingers tend to be extremely careful.

A condom will only protect you from the end of a fella's willy...not from his mouth or even hands. I think that is also what deters me from attending swingers clubs: the hygeine, the publicness and also I can't do sex unless I know someone fairly well.

But each to their own. Unfortunately lots of people catch stds because they "trust" the other person, feeling they know them. But you never know who that person has been with, or who their previous partners have been with etc

I was talking about female/female oral sex. I know there is something that can be used there but noone ever uses it! Yes it was my own fault I'm just saying it can happen so don't be complacent.

To answer your question enjolrass you can protect against stds when giving oral to a woman, it's called a dental dam. Cheap and readily available but not well known unfortunately.

Cleaty: Did you know there are women-only sex parties?

I don't think that anyone's arguing that swinging is the way to overthrow the patriarchy, but it is true that female sexual autonomy is something a lot of people find threatening. Whenever something bad happens to a woman who does not follow the normal rules of pursuing or maintaining a longterm heterosexual relationship (whether that's swinging, sex work or just having lots of hookups or several fuckbuddies) it's seen as her own fault for doing such Bad Things, and everyone wrings their hands and calls for a ban on swinging, sex work or the 'casual sex culture'. However, marriage and longterm monogamous relationships often lead to women being abused in a variety of ways and even killed, yet very few people blame the institution of marriage for this.

A fairly small number of people are excited by the idea of being the 'plaything' of a number of others, and of having no right of refusal. Most of those people will just enjoy that as a fantasy; some will seek ways to try it out in reasonably controlled conditions. Other people like the idea of group sex but that doesn't mean they are willing for any random passer-by to hop on and have a go, and all the clubs I have ever attended insist on people waiting for an invitation to join in and ensuring consent. If you like multiple-partner sex, that doesn't mean you don't exercise choice, or have no right to do so.

I do not feel at all threatened by female sexual autonomy. I just don't think swinging clubs are an example of it.

Agree with everything SGB said. Furthermore, it takes a certain amount as courage to enter into this world. It's quite scary at first and also you know you will be judged by others ( as per this thread ). For example I've been accused by a female acquaintance of 'using my body like a toilet' and by a man of being ' damaged' and that ' women are naturally monogamous'.

What I really appreciate about both fetish and swingers' clubs is that it's a totally safe space for a woman to explore her fantasies where women are respected and not judged. I got into it as I was frustrated and unfulfilled by the sex I was having in my monogamous relationships and was thrilled to finally discover this world where people were accepting of me for who I was. I've only had positive experiences but am aware it is threatening to many people and it isn't something I talk about in RL as I don't want to be subjected to people's negative assumptions and judgements. I've personally found it fulfilling, exciting and have made great friends through it. It's not for everyone but don't think it deserves the amount of condemnation it has received from many on this thread.

Enjolrass ...as someone who has undulged (albeit not in a public setting in a club) I strongly disagree that it addresses patriarchy etc.. .its just a bit of fun. Its sex bot a friggin women's studies course

I totally agree with this. You enjoy it, so do it. I don't judge people who do. It was the patriarchy comment that made

To answer your question enjolrass you can protect against stds when giving oral to a woman, it's called a dental dam. Cheap and readily available but not well known unfortunately.

thank you. Off to google.

Surely these clubs should be making people aware of these as well as condoms?

Cleaty: so what (apart from sexual activity that excludes men) do you consider female sexual autonomy? If your position is that it can only be sexual activity without male involvement, then fair enough: that's a consistent position. I don't agree with it, but it makes it easier to understand your hostility towards group/public/bi sexual behaviour.

prime genuine question, how do you protect from stis if a man is giving oral sex to a woman?

Dental Dams

it's not just sti's that worry me it's just being in close contact with so many other peoples germs, saliva, people breathing on you etc etc.

I get a bit contamination phobic in the swimming pool and I feel so repulsed looking at all those nearly naked flabby bodies that I couldn't bear to wear the prescription swimming goggles which brought it all into sharp focus

I think everyone's obsessed by the buffet as it just seems so incongruous and polite.

I expect I am not the only one picturing a balding Terry in a gimp mask, paunch hanging over the edge of his latex shorts, munching on a vol-au-vent, nodding politely as a blonde-highlighted Suzanne in a carnival mask and red PVC basque earnestly jabbers on about house prices and schools in the area.

There's also the awkward question of the bonking/noshing crossover. Does Bob still have his fish-stick and glass of prosecco held awkwardly in his hands while jack-hammering away at Brenda's rear entrance, or does he have a chance to pop them down somewhere and hope nobody uses them in some imaginative sex-game while he's not looking?

blonde-highlighted Suzanne
How dare you, I've never had blond highlights!

I would be so pissed off if some nicked my prosecco

That dental dam article made me laugh when it started talking bout people using cling film

Quite honestly if clubs India on condoms to protect patrons they Gould be insisting on dental dams to protect women.

The pp who caught an sti from it clearly didn't know they existed, I didn't either.

The dental dam.

I'd rather be celibate than indulge in a pastime that meant I had to use one of those.

Its awful.

Lol @ Dadonice's visualisation of the swinger's club. Hee hee I imagine Terry as Terry Scott the comedy character

Re. This thread...its very funny how those who have never indulged have so many negative opinions regarding something they know very little about

Definitely concur that many people are sounding very threatened by the very concept of women who are sexually active and confident. There is a lot of hypocracy in the UK regarding sex. All very "no sex please, we are British". Also a lot of genuine fear and ignorance about the very idea that one's partner might actually enjoy to have sex with another person, god forbid...and horror that one might actually allow them that pleasure in a safe environment (safe as in not threatening to the primary relationship).

When I first told do that I was going to experiment with women and 3sums, he said he felt worried that I would fall in love with one of the women, or their husband. Now he has hot to know them and joins us, so we can all enjoy each other without anyone feeling threatened or insecure.

The swingers I know are some of the most interesting people I have met as they tend to have an adventurous and curious approach to life as a whole, not just to sex. They are people who want to grab life by the horns and enjoy every moment but in a safe and controlled environment.

Personally this is much more attractive to me than the drink fuelled casual sex/1 night stand culture that most of my non-swinger friends are into. Each to their own

Has anyone on here actually used a dental dam by the way?

Dental dams are disgusting. That is why they are very rarely used. The official advice is to cut up a condom, as at least the material is thin.