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Original poster

to be ridiculously excited to have just booked tickets for a swinging club for NYE party?

501 replies

goodcompany2 · 07/12/2015 13:05

First time without kids on NYE in 7 years and excited!!! Blush

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 10/12/2015 19:34

All the talk of 'hygienic play areas' in the link did make me wonder.

SolidGoldBrass · 10/12/2015 19:44

Had a look at the Pedestal website (I have been to the club but found out about it via word of mouth) - that 'slaves' page firstly is asking for volunteers to take on a specific role and secondly is fairly tongue-in-cheek. Yes, there are some men whose fantasy is to be a total slave to a woman, but the fact that both men and women are enjoying the game doesn't make it a bad thing.

karalime · 10/12/2015 19:53

Sounds like great fun.

Never been to a swingers club but I have been tied up and spanked at an event by a very polite man. It was ace.

Men buy tickets to go to Club Pedistal, so I'm not sure how that is akin them them prostituting themselves. Some men get off on pleasing women, and some women are perfectly happy for them to do that.

Now I think I'll find a thread about crotchet or something and go on about how wrong and stupid that is...

naughtyjezebel · 10/12/2015 20:01

I think the term "play" is used because that's what it is. Nothing to over analyse here...its just fun, that's all Wink

51howdidthathappen · 10/12/2015 20:02

My aunt and uncle were swingers for most of their marriage. I think they were married for over 50 years, until his death. They were utterly devoted to each other. In love.

They didn't do clubs, did they even exist back in the day. It was parties with friends in their own homes. Nibbles included.

Never wanted a nibble myself. Those that enjoy though, the buffet is open, fill your boots.

Enjolrass · 10/12/2015 20:11

Men buy tickets to go to Club Pedistal, so I'm not sure how that is akin them them prostituting themselves.

Well no one, including the website seems to clear.

The website says it's a demanding role and talks about being part of a team. Then asks you to apply.

But you are saying they just buy tickets?

It doesn't quite add up

I was very clear that the men do it because it turns them on. I know that. But a post suggested it was redressing patriarchy. It's not the. The men are there because it's turns them on. Not because they are redressing patriarchy

karalime · 10/12/2015 20:24

Yep you can buy tickets.

But I guess that they take on staff/volunteers too. Most events that I have been to have staff to make sure everything runs smoothly and safely. I highly doubt that these 'house slaves' will be forced to do anything.

Destinysdaughter · 10/12/2015 20:33

They are volunteers, I have a friend who does it. There's nothing sinister about it, it's just fun and another form of sexual expression, the men are happy as they are serving and the women are happy as they get to boss men about for a bit!

SoConfused15 · 10/12/2015 21:29

Playing is a good word. It is all about fun for me, and playing is by its very nature fun.

Playing with yourself = masturbation, so what is wrong with playing with others = sex?

I actually find that talking or writing about sex, my desires and fantasies is more intimate to me than bumping body parts. Sharing my mind is more intimate than sharing my body

(Again I stress that I know I am probably on my own here! Lol)

cleaty · 10/12/2015 22:07

There is a bit on this thread about swinging being naughty and that giving people a thrill. There is nothing transgressive about having sex with strangers, 1-1 or in a group. It is normal patriarchal sex that benefits men. But maybe if your life is pretty boring the idea that you are dong something naughty, might give you a thrill?

SolidGoldBrass · 10/12/2015 22:29

Enjolrass:Men can buy tickets to go to Pedestal, or they can apply to be part of the 'crew' which means they get free entry. This is fairly common in fetish events (and other types of nightclub event, for that matter) - free entry in exchange for contributing to paying attendees' enjoyment in some way, whether that's by enacting a fantasy role, running the cloakroom or putting on some sort of performance.

Cleaty: is your viewpoint that women having sex of any kind with men is conforming to the patriarchy whether or not the woman enjoys it?

cleaty · 10/12/2015 22:33

SGB - No

So the men by getting free entry are getting paid.

Sansoora · 10/12/2015 22:33

There's so much terminology going on here that Im having problems with and this is the latest one - deliciously naughty. It makes me want to laugh because I can almost hear it being said in a sultry voice but at the same time I feel sorry for the person using it and not just because I immediately thought of Earth Kitt and that actress who played Miss Moneypenny for years.

As for 'play' - yikes.

However, each to their own though and whilst Im trying really hard to be accepting of what people want to do in their spare time I cant but help feel its a bit degrading for all involved, especially for the women, and those sex slaves mentioned earlier. Why would you want any kind of slave? Its just so ugly.

DifferentCats · 10/12/2015 23:26

Sansoora, I think it is an idea to question why it is possible for women to either gain respect or degrade themselves with their sexual choices.

CocoDeJour · 10/12/2015 23:35

Is swinging classed as a hobby? If so, how sad.

SolidGoldBrass · 10/12/2015 23:46

Cleaty: As I said previously, many clubs, bars, events etc offer free tickets in exchange for contributing to the entertainment in some way. There's a whole other discussion to be had (and which is often had, elsewhere) on whether or not it is exploitation to 'pay' performers and crew with free admission rather than actual cash, regardless of whether the event is a sex/BDSM night or a gig by an internationally famous band at the O2 arena (on the whole, there are plenty of people who will 'volunteer' to work at an event in exchange for free entry because they want to attend the event and can't afford the ticket and the value of the event is considered as good as a cash payment). In the case of men 'working' at Pedestal rather than attending as customers and paying for admission, no one is forcing them to do it. Men are not forbidden to buy tickets if they would prefer to sit around having a drink and watch the entertainment, for instance.

Titsywoo · 11/12/2015 00:03

This isn't something I like to talk about but I think needs to be said. I went to a swinging club a few years ago with dh. We have a fab relationship and sex life but wanted to try a threesome which we did a few times then we tried a swinging club run by someone he knew through his work. We were always very careful with protection but there is never oral protection. I was very unlucky to catch gonorrhoea. Sadly I didn't notice it in time and I ended up with pelvic inflammatory disease which was very painful and the gonorrhoea was antibiotic resistant so took a few doses of very strong pills to get rid of. I have since discovered my fallopian tubes were badly damaged from this and my pelvis is full of scar tissue.

So for me it really wasn't worth it. But I was unlucky I guess. Still you must be very careful with your sexual health. Luckily for me our family is complete as I am almost certainly infertile.

Sorry to put a downer on your thread but I think it is important to think about.

Eekaman · 11/12/2015 02:14

Critical of someone else's hobbies?

How sad.

Sansoora · 11/12/2015 03:25

Sansoora, I think it is an idea to question why it is possible for women to either gain respect or degrade themselves with their sexual choices

Destiny, only women?

Enjolrass · 11/12/2015 06:23

Fwiw if you want to be able to go to. Club and pic a slave/sub and order him about, quite honestly that's up to you.

But the claim it's redressing patriarchy just doesn't fly with me.

Men who have volunteered do so for their own sexual kicks, the website say they are expected to service any female. So these men do not give a shit who the woman is, they don't care about wether he finds her attractive or not. They just service anyone that's what's it.

Which is the opposite of what people have been saying happens in other clubs.

If that's what you want to do. That's fine, it's the claims made about what it's doing for women that doesn't sit right.

And the website isn't very clear, it makes it sound like something it isn't.

I actually know quite a bit about the Dom/sub situation. A very nice woman on our estate is a Dom and runs her business out of a flat she rents. She is fully aware that she is being paid because they get off on it. Not because they respect her or respect women as a whole.

ShowMeTheWonder · 11/12/2015 07:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Enjolrass · 11/12/2015 07:38

showmethewonder put it loads better than I did Grin

naughtyjezebel · 11/12/2015 08:50

There is a lot of heavy analysis going on here about what is just a bit of fun! And a lot of crititical comments about other people having fun. Grin Why not learn to live and let live? The talk of patriarchy is hilarious.

Sparklingbrook · 11/12/2015 08:53

I think Titsywoo's post is something to think about.

Enjolrass · 11/12/2015 09:08

The talk of patriarchy is hilarious.

It was destiny that said it was 'redressing the patriarchy'

Are you saying that we should all ignore that?

As I said if you want to do it, do it. Claiming it's something it's not, is going to be challenged.

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