Porny Expectations - do you find men's attitudes have changed?

[LoisPuddingLane]

I watch a fair bit of porn, although I'm more into the naturalistic stuff. No bouncy ball tits, fake nails, that sort of thing. I like hair. Proper orgasms. Anyway...

What I wanted to discuss was whether the unrealistic nature of much mainstream porn has affected how men respond and react in sexual situations. I don't have a lot of sex these days (old) but the last time I did, I really noticed a very porny style to the guy's behaviour. As if he'd watched a lot and thought it was normal.

Things that see to be considered "normal" in a lot of mainstream porn:

1. An expectation of no body hair at all.
2. An expectation of effortless female orgasm.
3. Along with that orgasm, gushing lots of "cum" (pee?)
4. Easy and expected anal.
5. Expected "gagging" oral.

Have you also found these things creeping in to real sex?

What we old folk call rimming?

I thought it was arse to minge [blush ]

No dick in arse then in mouth without washing
It's a thing that some men like more degradation and humiliation if you ask me. I know YKINMK and all that but a man who got off on degrading me sexually is not one I would want to spend time with, sexually or otherwise

Yeuch, I'm fairly open minded but sucking a shitty dick is not my idea of fun. And it does sound degrading.

I feel like bookmarking this thread for whenever I feel depressed about my lack of a sex life. I've just realised there are far worse things than having to make do with a n active fantasy life. Are there no men out there who like good old vanilla sex any more?

I bloody hope so. All I want is a damn good snogging followed by damn good downstairs snogging and then a damn good shag.

Arse to mouth is a thing that some men like?

Why do they like it?

If you analyse it, the actual sensations are the same whether it's mouth to arse or the other way round.

The only difference is that the woman is being disgusted and humiliated one way.

Now why would they like it that way, i wonder?

Women are in deep denial about how much some men hate them, if they're putting up with shit like this (literally) in their bedrooms.

I think a lot of younger women have not yet realised they can say no to this sort of shit. They want their boyfriends to think they are cool and sexy and if they don't do it, maybe he'll find someone who will. I now realise how fortunate I was to grow up in the 70s. Boyfriends back then might ask to try anal but did not go on and on about it. They certainly didn't ask to do all this weird humiliating shit as routine.

I'm in a new relationship with a man who was previously married for 20+ years. Single for a year.

The sex is great, refreshing that there's no expectation for porn-sex (there has been in previous encounters I've had over the last 5 years) and he's never sent me a cock-shot (again, that was pretty standard in other encounters).

However. He slaps my bum! What is that about? That's quite porny isn't it? It does nothing for me, he can carry on if it does for him but....why??

No idea. Does he like to think you are a pony?

Is it being slapped on the arse generally or during sex?

I'm not keen on ass slapping, I don't see how it does anything for anyone.

And what's 'slapping cock on face' all about?

I think porn has a lot to answer for

Slapping their cock on a woman's face? They'd find my front door slapping their arse on the way out if they tried that.

I've just thought of that film with Jennifer Aniston and Ben Stiller and the arse slapping episode

See, i quite like a bit of spanking etc.

I don't think there's anything wrong with liking spanking (or any other consensual stuff) but when you watch porn (I do watch quite a lot, I'm sorry to say) it just seems to happen a lot, without apparent permission. And of course the porn ladies love it.

Yeah, nice ex and i did / do a lot of stuff, but hes always respectful, asking first, checking in "are you ok?" Etc.
sigh might text him, see if hes busy tonight

Whoops, i bolded my sigh.

The porn ladies all start moaning at the sight of a knob too. You are lucky if i make that much noise EVER.

They make more noise than foxes in the back garden.

Some things were probably started by the porn industry, but then they move over to main stream. Ladies used to shave their legs, now the fashion is other parts as well. Not sure it is any longer a porn related issue.

1. is a must. 2,3) women are all different and have different responses. I have no preconceived expectations. 4)is part of a normal sexual relationship for me.
2. I agree this is some porno fantasy and not for me. Although I do prefer a lady to swallow. I admit it's a huge turn on, if the lady shows it before swallowing. I guess that's slightly porno.

Wow caveman I'm surprised you get much sex at all if totally shaved pudenda and anal are a must for you. Have you considered that some women don't enjoy shaving or anal? Would you dump a woman who wouldn't do either?

Its funny (on here), if a woman makes a comment she never get's asked to justify it.

You comment is a slightly silly thing to say Ehric. Lots of women shave and have anal. Its hardly rare nowadays (ps my partner does both).

Anyway a long time ago I had a fairly long ralationship with a woman who (thinking back) probably didn't like oral sex (she wasn't any good at least). Then I went out with a woman who blew my mind (sorry for the pun) she loved it and was brilliant at it. Incidently she was the one who did the show it before swallowing thing (not every time obviously, but that blew me away when she first did that). Then I realised that I shouldn't "put up" with anything that didn't fulful my likes (shall we say). I couldn't then go out with someone who didn't like/was crap at oral for example. Why should I?

So like you, I have my preferences, I am not sure about the shaved being a "deal breaker" (Although it may be) but no anal sex would be a "deal breaker". I am not saying it should be every time, but it should be on the menu.

If an bloke expected anal from me he would be told to fuck entirely off. And to be honest, i dont keep my legs and underarms smooth, let alone my fanny. I find it helps me sort blokes. The ones who have an opinion are the ones i dont want to shag.

Well caveman that's great for you that you found someone you don't have to compromise with. I guess that's what we all hope for. I hope your lady isn't comprising either!