Daughter being excluded from prom

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My daughter is year 11 and sits GCSEs next month. She has struggled throughout the whole of secondary school with friendships, MH/school anxiety, behaviour and approximately a year ago almost got sent to pru. She has never settled in school. However she has made significant improvement, not on any behaviour plan, is revising hard and should pass GCSEs and do her chosen subjects in college.

She has autism, anxiety and some physical health issues that are likely linked. Getting her into school is a struggle as she feels unhappy there but we make the effort and her attendance is good.

Although much improved her behaviour score is not high enough to meet the 90% prom threshold (reminders, uniform points and gokng to toilet when not permitted). She was informally told this week the final decision is that she will be excluded from prom.

Now all the girls have their tickets and she is beside herself. They are all making plans and talking about dresses and she now feels unable to continue going to school due to feeling so distressed about this. She is worried how she will cope with the sense of exclusion having to keep hearing about prom in school and assemblies

She's now at home. I have written to the school and submitted 2 complaints over the last 2 months however I have not received a satisfactory response. There has been no communication to me from the school about their decision or how they will support those excluded. Please can someone advise how I can escalate this further and if possible externally.

@Leftrightmiddle and they do that. The issue is that students at prom need to be trusted to behave in a particular way. And those who consistently break rules and don’t meet behaviour expectations can’t be trusted.

Like I said. It’s not a punishment for the behaviour. That was dealt with at the time but if a student insists on continuing with bad behaviour, taking up more of everyone’s time and therefore fails to achieve the threshold for prom then I’m afraid the result is the don’t get to go.
I’m astounded you think schools just let pupils misbehave with no consequences until prom!

Yeah that's the behaviour policy in every school. We deal with nothing at the time and then ban kids from prom. It's a really effective system.

I’m in two minds about this. I have 3 children- all of whom I expect will go to Prom as they behave well. One probably has an element of adhd but still behaves.

I do think prom should be for everyone apart from the fighters / drinkers 😆 It’s a shame to leave school on such a low.

But - the ones whose children can’t go seem a lot more bothered about that than school attendance and therein lies the problem…

Whatever anyone thinks about the policy, communicating this decision before the exams is an indication of how little they actually care about your child's anxiety and their impact on it.

The Prom has been and gone - weeks ago. We will never discover if the daughter went to the Prom; we will never know what she wore; we will never know if she snogged a spotty boyfriend.
Life moves on and so must we. It will all be forgotten by September. Daughter will go to college. She will make new friends. She will find a spotty boyfriend. All will be well.

What are you on about? Year 11s are still sitting their GCSEs until mid June at least. The proms are usually after the final exam.

That just means no prom organised by school. The school HAS "risk assessed" the OP's daughter and decided she's a risk that they're not willing to take.

Risk assessment does include "No".

The OP is not talking about a risk assessment.

Yes it is. Her DD’s behaviour has reached the level that the school’s risk assessment says is inappropriate for prom.

It's not a risk assessment as I understand it.

How? They risk assessed prom and agreed a floor level of behaviour without which it wouldn’t be safe. Communicated the requirements to students then let them either prove they were safe or not.

Where are you getting risk assessment from? She's not on a behaviour plan.

I did not know this. I did not know that kids returned to school after GCSEs.
I did not have a year 11 prom, I actually think they are a stupid idea. I did not have a sixth form prom. We used to go pubs and nightclubs in groups; that was sufficient for us. I don't remember celebrating leaving school. We drifted away after A levels. I think we went up the pub to celebrate the end of A levels. We had a formal speech night to receive our examination certificates. Our next destinations were announced in assembly.
I taught in FE, and I do not remember one single one of my students ever mentioning their school prom.
I do know several people, younger than me, who had sixth form proms. Although enjoyable, they were soon forgotten.

For prom. They’ve (reasonably) decided that prom is too risky with pupils who can’t meet behaviour targets. She hasn’t met the behaviour target. Prom risk assessment will be on the basis that attendees meet the floor behaviour requirement.

That's highly speculative. Nothing about a risk assessment in the OP. It's not the case that every decision made by a school.is a risk assessment. Some schools are using it as an incentive. The op one seems to be operating some sort of points system.

Why would the Op know about the school’s risk assessment for an event? She says her DD hasn’t reached the level required to attend prom. I think it’s more likely than not that the risk assessment for prom sets out the floor level of behaviour expectation. The DD hasn’t reached it.
So actually, a risk assessment is a red herring. The school have said you have to reach a level of behaviour to attend prom. They haven’t announced it late. And the OP’s DD hasn’t reached it. She doesn’t get to go to prom.

Setting out a floor of behaviour based on things from several years ago including uniform- is not the same as a risk assessment based on safety and does not relate to the risks of the event. That's making a random wish list and calling it a risk assessment.

You can have that opini9n. I have experience of risk assessments based on students reaching a floor behaviour level. It’s not just uniform - behaviour reminders and going AWOL are involved for the OP’s DD, and imagine aggression and violence bring you to the floor level more quickly.
Why do you think a pupil who can’t follow instructions, wanders off and can’t follow a dress code sould be safe at a prom in a public space?

The fact that you are talking about a dress code in relation to safety in a prom is insane. What are you talking about, psychological injury from poor colour co ordination?
Absconding is a risk I discussed previously seeing earlier comments.
The risk should actually relate to the situation and be a real risk. Not bringing a pencil to class isn't a risk in a prom. Aggression likely to occur in a prom would be.

Prom is a reward. It’s out of school hours and off school premises. The expectation is that the (by then ex) students of the school behave like young adults. The teachers are not there in any supervisory capacity. So any student who can’t follow expectations (despite being told that would mean they can’t go to prom) shouldn’t go.

As above, prom is a reward not a right. Students need to earn that reward throughout their school career. If they choose not to earn that reward, they're free to make that choice.

Following a dress code shows an ability to do what is expected. I wouldn’t expect a student to be excluded purely for uniform issues, but as part of a wider picture…
Prom isn’t a right. Follow the rules or else it’s not worth the unpaid volunteer staff’s effort. They won’t attend and then the risk assessment will shut the whole thing down.

I think this discussion is a rehash. When did it start being called ' Prom?' Surely it's 'a prom?' A prom is a leavers disco or party.. Theres no ' right' to use it as behaviour management and that's clearly ineffective at that stage it satisfies teachers without helping pupils. . If someone is not safe as in a danger, they can't go the process needs to be risk assessment. It would apply to relatively few. Teachers need to be paid. And start applying the definite or indefinite article.

In this instance it would be the definite, not indefinite, article needed as we are talking about a specific event - but it’s perfectly normal recognised usage now to refer to ‘prom’. It’s not about behaviour ‘at this stage’. It’s part of a long term strategy to encourage good behaviour in the year running up to the event. What do you mean there’s no right to use it as a behaviour management? Schools absolutely have the right to decide who can attend school events and how they are selected. Even if teachers were paid for it - and there’s no precedent or mechanism for overtime really - it would still be voluntary and many would still say no if they didn’t trust the behaviour of those allowed to attend.
As a retired teacher with about 35 years of experience, I’m very glad to be out now entitlement has risen to this level. No wonder there’s a retention crisis…for those who want to teach enough to buck the recruitment crisis I’m fairly sure many will come to regret their choice and will leave.