If money wasnt an issue

[Swan2019]

Would you send your kids privately?

Struggling with the decision. We have a good local state school and are in catchment, it's enormous though. I feel that they'll survive it rather than do brilliantly there.

Have inherited enough money to send kids privately without worrying about it.

Would you do it? Is it worth it?

Well, there’s no private schools in my area so I don’t have an option, but I probably wouldn’t. And I wouldn’t move for it either. I would probably spend the money on extra tutoring outside of school, etc.

It really depends on the local school options.

In my case the local comp is outstanding and top sets get excellent results, not much sport or music and no fancy facilities, but we can sort that for the kids outside school. Local private has all the bells and whistles but isn’t top tier academically (though costs the same as the top London schools) - I suspect my kids would achieve the same results in either school. They’d have a more cushy experience in private but as against that it might be held against them in future. On balance we will go with the comp.

If we lived near one of the elite privates and my kids had a chance getting in, or if their local state was bad as opposed to just big, it would be a different decision.

In your case it doesn’t sound like the state is bad and your money is probably better spent giving them lovely experiences outside school and setting them up with a house deposit later.

well we did, even though money wasn't exactly "no object", and there have been sacrifices. No regrets.

Have you been to any open days? what are you hoping the money will really buy you?

We essentially chose to go private in similar circumstances, because we had a large windfall which meant it would make no difference to our quality of life if we spent the money on private school or not. We have a huge range of private school options though (as we're in London) so it wasn't just the option between one state and one private. If your options are more limited then you have to drill it right down to how the specific schools will suit your dc (or consider moving or boarding).

We have some excellent state schools locally, but realistically they are all a bit tired, have more limited sports and arts provision compared to the best private schools, more limited curriculum (eg languages), fewer and lower quality extracurriculars, are more likely to use non-specialist teachers, have much bigger class sizes, more disruption, have fewer and less ambitious trips, less pleasant learning environments and poorer quality meals. Some of those factors aren't too important in the grand scheme of things, and they won't make a difference to academic achievement or can be organised privately. But for us, the finances were there to make life better and nicer for our dcs, so that's what we chose to spend our money on.

There's a counter-argument for not spending on school fees and investing the money for other purposes - uni fees, house deposit, postgrad training etc. In our case we can still afford that anyway, but it's worth crunching the numbers and thinking of it as a pure financial decision. It's definitely an eye-watering amount once you add up the costs (for 2 dcs, and for prep as well as senior school, in our case).

These years of development are priceless. You are building the grownups they will be. I would go for the best that I can afford. It’s not just about GCSEs and A levels, but social skills and character.

You have to judge whether the private option will actually deliver what you want and whether it aligns with your values. Not every private school is good, but being able to pay gives you more options and more chances to find the right school for your DC.

There is some open bias against the privately educated at the moment. So you won’t be buying straight forward privilege. If you can find a school that inculcates discipline, rigour and high standards alongside nurturing, respect, good manners and kindness- you will get something more precious than you give up. Sure parents influence all this at home, but having the 30 hours a week they spend at school reinforcing your values really helps.

I think it depends on the school tbh and how your child would fit there.

Imho, private is only 'worth it' (excluding exceptions such as additional needs or a specialist school) if you can easily afford it. By that I mean, if you can also have a lifestyle without compromises (eg you don't have to sacrifice the holiday, the extracurricular, the new boiler and, more far-reaching, uni costs, help with housing, etc) and you can absorb the fee rises and all the extras (trips/kit etc) without batting an eyelid.

Of course those who have sacrificed to pay will say it was worth it. I dunno. I can only speak from the pov of sending 3 kids to a mix of private and state and honestly, if we're judging by results, the kid who did best academically went to a state school that was good for them. So I am all about getting the right school for the child.

Obviously with money comes the luxury of choice and you may feel that you now have that luxury. But if you are second-guessing, then maybe it won't be as easy as you anticipate.

We did, but I wouldn’t necessarily call our local schools good, even though Ofsted do. Having said which, I hear that the behaviour at my kids’ school has gone downhill (youngest left two years ago) and that was the main justification.

If money was no issue, no I wouldn’t send my DC to a private school.

In your shoes I would probably send my DCs to the local comp - they did very well there. DC1 came out with 4 Astars at A Level and an EPQ so you can't do much better than that.

I would instead invest the private education fund for the DCs so they could buy a property. I would also spend some of that on high quality tutors in any areas they were struggling in.

For me it depends on how much money as I would want to do uni help, generous house deposits and I want to retire before 68! 😆

If enough left over at that then I would do it.

I would want an excellent private option though.

@Swan2019 what would the person you inherited from say? I'm asking because I know my mum disapproved of my brother's wife's choice of school and confided in me in her final days that she hoped he wouldn't use his inheritance for that.

To answer your question, if I were you I would have thought about this years ago and moved closer to a good state school. Or, if I hadn't, it would imply I was quite happy with the state school before the inheritance and so the money shouldn't change that.

I'm using my inheritance to pay off the mortgage, put my kids through uni debt-free, and funding deposits for their future homes. Do you have those things covered by other means?

Yes, I have and I would again without hesitation

I went private. My parents sent me on a government scholarship which they still had back in the day.
Hard to look back and see if it made a difference but I did go to uni and get a law degree. But I didn't fit in. Didn't have friends. Left all my mates behind. Couldn't keep up with them much because I lived far from both school and my previous mates .

Without a doubt. We did and have zero regrets

Money gets you choice... so you can move near a school you like, or chose a Private school, or just stick with a school nearby. Its the choice that is the luxury, not just the school itself.

If money was no issue I would send my kids to the local comp.
my DM offered to pay for private for mine (although it doesn’t align with her values- she went to boarding school and sent me to local comp).
so we had the option but wanted them to get in education in all aspects of life, and to have a good friendship group locally.
no regrets at all, they’ve all done really well and I think they are wonderful well rounded people.

Would depend entirely on what the alternative is. If the comps were awful and my child was at risk of being stabbed, or completely failed by the teachers I’d consider it.
otherwise no I wouldn’t.
my brother was a scholarship kid at a private school and he really struggled relating to his peers, my poor mum worked herself into the ground to afford school trips etc. and tbh a lot of his peers were entitled little shits.
I’d have to be RICH to consider it without being desperate.

No but only because we live next to one of the best state schools in the country. We pay a huge premium in terms of house price to live in catchment so I guess we’re buying our way into the system, but I like where we live and I like the school so am happy to pay it.

I went to a semi private school- if I had the option and the local school wasn’t in any way rough I’d definitely definitely do that. I won’t say it was full of snobbery but there was a definite divide

This was us. Well, in a way. Had planned on sending DD private but it would have taken sacrifices and a bit of a lifestyle change so it was a tougher decision. Came into some money around the same time and confirmed it. 100% best decision, it’s a fantastic school and the opportunities are amazing. She has absolutely flourished there and it has installed motivation, ambition, confidence, teamwork and kindness. She can speak to anyone and is great at debating (actually unsure if that’s a good thing …she’s only 7! But it’s impressive 😅) I went to state school and her private school is so, so much better. Also to add, people from all different walks of life send their kids to private school. It’s not all absurdly rich people, some grandparents pay/lots of hardworking parents/inheritance etc.

money's always an issue unless you're absurdly rich, eg you might want to have enough money to give your kids a house deposit, or a whole house, or maybe do the same for your grandkids, etc.

i personally am against it because the culture is so different and basically all my friends, colleagues, family, etc don't send their kids to private school, culturally it'd be alien to me, not in a good way. that's what it boils down to for me.

I wouldn’t! I would keep the money for a deposit for a house for them in the future. My boss, who is a partner in a Big 4, he once told me that private schools are overrated. He sent his kids to a private school throughout primary and secondary and the one decided to become a photographer and the other youtuber. And I don’t say that these are not good jobs, it’s just that even if you spend the money it doesn’t mean they ll go to oxford or cambridge.

I'm poor & my DD got a fully assisted place at an independent school. Our local comp (we're in a grammar area - she turned down a place at the grammar to go to the indie) is a Catholic High School & was a feeder for her primary - she would have got a place there, its a really excellent school & I'd have been more than happy if she'd have gone there.

However😬 my DD studied 4 languages at gcse, I'm not sure where she gets her language ability from, we're a monoglot house hold - it wasnt a problem at her school & she was very much encouraged - at the Catholic Comp she could have had one language option in a block.

Seeing as she's a bit of a dope with everything else, im just delighted she's had the chance to pursue a subject she loves.

Oh course in an ideal world every child would have this - its unfair & probably hypocritical of me to say this. But I cant fix our sometimes less than ideal education system for every child - wish that I could.
She's been a very lucky kid & its shouldn't depend on luck🙁

Dd teaches in an independent boarding/day school. She would send her kids there. Over the fantastic secondary school whose results are similar, over the super selective grammar that gets better results.
The whole teaching process involves the individual child much more. The classes are smaller, the behaviour exemplary. A heck of a lot more teaching and pupil involvement happens because the day is longer and behaviour management takes pretty much zero time out of her day. (And that is with 2 to 5 SEND pupils in each class of 7 to 15.)
She says it is a different world.