Should DC go on the school residential when he can't swim?

[Thoughtfulgolondrina]

The Year 8 Residential is coming soon and most days water sports/swimming is the activity of the day. Due to COVID shutting pools and stopping swimming lessons for a couple years of primary and then living abroad for a couple more years of primary, my son can't swim. We have tried to get him into swimming lessons now but all in the area have unending waiting lists or won't teach older children because he is outside the age range for the national swimming programme implemented in England. The end result is my DC doesn't want to go on the residential but will miss the fun with his friends on the other parts of the trip. For my part, l am worried about his safety. While abroad, he almost drowned at a beach. I don't feel his teachers really understand 'he can't swim'. Therefore, l worry about whether the vigilance will be there. Also, my DC, rightly so, wonders what he will do instead. There are whole days of water sport (boogie-boarding, surfing) and other days of hiking to a pool to spend the afternoon swimming. What should l do?

Our local pool costs £8 per person, and doesn’t actually have a proper lane swimming facility that is accessible…. just a splash zone and a play pool.
To access the lane swimming part, you need to be members if the swimming club (need to be able to swim for that!), ir take swimming lessons (waiting lists a bit over 2 years for evening/weekend slots).

People who can't afford swimming lessons (particularly from babyhood): unfortunate for them but reasonable. Spending over two years looking for swimming lessons and not just taking the child swimming yourself during that time: really quite mad.

That is expensive. We used to go to a £1 after school hour though that was 10 years ago now.

But we're not talking about poverty stricken families here, are we. Obviously I am not blind to the poor, but that isn't the norm. OP keeps saying she's happy to throw money at it. I'm speaking in context of just regular people, not children in care etc. You're being deliberately rude towards to me and I'm not sure why.

This, but apparently because I can't quite articulate this, I'm middle class in a bubble.

This. 100%

But as usual a few posters start bringing in completely irrelevant issues such as homeless kids, parents on the poverty line etc

the OP has said she will throw money at it. Travel as far as she can go and back within the day to access lessons.

This is all theoretical anyway as I’m convinced it’s a load of bull. There’s no way a Year 8 residential which must be taking place within the next 7 weeks of term would not be properly organised with bookings made and deposits paid by now.

I'm just looking up mine (it's near to where I live now, but would have involved two buses where I lived when the DDs were little).

No sessions today as it's closed for parties, if somebody isn't working and is therefore able to book an hour in the baby pool for 12pm (the only session), it's £6.80 for an adult and £3.65 per child. Add in the £3.50 bus fare and that's not a 'couple of quid', assuming you can already swim well yourself and don't need to find and pay for private lessons.

No sessions Tuesday, one at 12pm Wednesday, you can get to the big pool between 4.30 and 5.30pm (but not the baby pool) on Thursday and that's your lot unless they don't have a party booking on Saturday afternoon or you've managed to get a job that doesn't require you to work weekends, so can get in first thing. The rest of the time it's either closed for clubs/private commercial bookings or is single lane swimming for adults - eight places per hour. Which makes it somewhat inaccessible for working poor parents or anybody with school age children.

I took advantage of the gym membership I had when they were younger to get them into the water for no additional cost beyond the yum yums and sausage rolls early on a Saturday, but the current price - from a 'council' pool - is extortionate in my opinion.

In my experience most councils offer swimming lessons, always after school or weekends. They work out around £35 per child per month.

The reason a few of us mentioned that was because @Blueberry911apparently doesn’t know anyone who didn’t start their children in lessons before they started school and thought that’s what everyone did- so was giving some examples of why everyone didn’t do it.

Some people really struggle to see out of their own tiny world.

But you(and the other poster) were talking about “people” , not OP specifically.

You also thought “everyone” paid for private lessons.

I agree that not all 7 year olds are competent swimmers but also lots are - children start trialling to join swim clubs from 7 years old, and there are long lists for the swim trials, because there are lots of younger children that can swim well, not all well enough but many get through the trials. That is totally achievable and on track if starting regular lessons from reception year.

The rest of your comments are really not very accurate in my experience either

I would try whatever I could to get him into a swimming crash course, even if it means travelling out of your local area.

OP you said you were willing to throw money out of it so if it’s impossible to find lessons in your area what about going away for a weekend and finding a crash course? And then once he has the basics take him yourself every day if needs be, until he is confident.

For example, this holiday cottage has a pool and offers swimming lessons and has availability for weekends:

https://www.threegatesfarm.co.uk

I have no idea what part of the country you are in as you haven’t said, but if you tell us we could try and find some options for you.

DS didn’t have lessons (because of his ASD, he couldn’t concentrate, it was a waste of money), so DH took him and taught him instead.
We also prioritised holidays with a pool and they were in the pool every day practising.
DS isn’t a skilled swimmer, but he can do well enough, do a length, jump in etc.

I am very aware this isn’t something everyone can do, as holidays are a luxury, but it’s an idea for OP.

Not being able to swim isn’t an option.

@onwards2025 in your area, your experiences seem to be quite different from ours. After being on the local leisure centre and several other waiting lists for more than 3 years, we joined David Lloyds for swimming lessons when my youngest was 6. Stage 4 (not competent swimmers by any means!) are all around 8 years old.
From the OPs post, their area is more similar to ours when yours.
You are lucky, good for you and your kids!
Local swim club exists, but most kids there have already older siblings, parents, aunts/uncles at the club so get priority for the early stage lessons there as family members of club members.

https://croft-holiday-cottages.co.uk/1828-learn-to-swim-swimming-lessons-swimming-without-stress/

Here is a holiday place in Wales that does crash courses

Sorry that I didn't specify children in care/disabled children/children with disabled parents/children with mums that work 101 hours a week/children with very specific circumstances that don't apply to this thread. I actually never knew children like this existed until this thread 🙄

I OBVIOUSLY did not mean the exceptions.

I couldn't imagine being this politically corect annoying for the sake of a mumsnet thread.

Does it? That page was last updated 12 years ago.

An availability search works, though?

That doesn't say anything about swimming lessons.

OK so I admit I didn’t actually do an in-depth search or contact the cottages on OPs behalf to check if they still offer this - it was a quick Google to demonstrate that there are other options out there if you really do want to help your child learn to swim…. OP has not stated which part of the country they are in so I wasn’t going to spend hours on this. Just trying to be constructive.

My sister couldn’t swim and she went. I could swim in a but wasn’t confident at all. Most of the water based activities (canoeing, raft building) are in very shallow water. At its deepest point it only came up to my waist. We still all wore life jackets, even the confident swimmers. There are also loads of adult helpers around to keep an eye on things. He will be ostracised by the rest and feel left out if he’s the only one not going. Just inform teachers so they can discreetly keep an extra eye on him.

one boy actually didn’t do any of the water activities (medical reasons) and still got to put the life jacket on and be a part of things ie help build the raft, he just didn’t go out in it. He was able to do all the other activities, archery, abseiling, rock climbing, bungee jumping, zipwire etc. So if your son really wants to sit out of water activities they will let him.

in the UK, none of these residential trips are centred around swimming as they tend to be outdoor based and it’s just too cold in the UK for outdoor swimming. There’s usually 2/3 pool activities, in our case it was kayaking, canoeing and raft building on the shallow water. Very difficult to fall in during canoeing, but I managed to flip a kayak!

Swim a bit but*

I wonder if the Op @Thoughtfulgolondrina is still reading her thread
and getting notifications every time there is another reply

even tho she has decided / stated she isn't coming back...

See how much your poor child is missing out on?

You have neglected him and failed him badly, OP. Swimming is an important life skill. Never mind the missing out, though that’s bad enough for the poor lad, what would happen if he was in danger and couldn’t get himself out?

No one has to be an Olympic swimmer but it’s a life skill that you as a parent have failed to teach him.

Throw as much money and time at it as you can, now. Take him yourself, pay for a private tutor. You can’t keep making excuses like you have been, because it could literally be life or death.

You really shouldn’t be so blasé about your child not having a skill that could save his life.

I don't intend to be mean OP as I see you're frustrated and feel judged, but you haven't answered why you can't teach him? Can't you swim? '80s Scottish kid here. Swimming lessons aren't even a "thing" to me. Dad taught me. I'm not Sharon Davies but I can swim well enough for what you describe and love the water.

Ooh I’m in Scotland too. My dad taught me but he’s a strong swimmer and I think a parent who isn’t super confident in the water would struggle. Some parents also feel like aren’t teaching their kid to a high enough standard.