Should DC go on the school residential when he can't swim?

[Thoughtfulgolondrina]

The Year 8 Residential is coming soon and most days water sports/swimming is the activity of the day. Due to COVID shutting pools and stopping swimming lessons for a couple years of primary and then living abroad for a couple more years of primary, my son can't swim. We have tried to get him into swimming lessons now but all in the area have unending waiting lists or won't teach older children because he is outside the age range for the national swimming programme implemented in England. The end result is my DC doesn't want to go on the residential but will miss the fun with his friends on the other parts of the trip. For my part, l am worried about his safety. While abroad, he almost drowned at a beach. I don't feel his teachers really understand 'he can't swim'. Therefore, l worry about whether the vigilance will be there. Also, my DC, rightly so, wonders what he will do instead. There are whole days of water sport (boogie-boarding, surfing) and other days of hiking to a pool to spend the afternoon swimming. What should l do?

I doubt the OP will come back as she seems unwilling to listen to the very practical advice on here, but……

1. Check with the school whether ability to swim a certain distance is a prerequisite for going on the trip. If it is, then it makes the decision easier- he can’t go. If not, then presumably alternative water activities suitable for non swimmers will be on offer.

2. Every other Year 8 in his school will have had the same Covid restrictions at the earlier stage of their education. They will also be in the same local area so they’ll all have the same difficulty in getting private lessons later on. Unless you are suggesting that every other year 8 is a competent swimmer then your son won’t be the only one in this situation.

3. Do what many posters have suggested and tell us the general area you’re in. It doesn’t need to be identifying, just enough for people to help out. Because the reality is that it’s highly likely someone will be able to offer private 1:1 lessons (which would be best as probably not many would be needed.) it sounds highly dubious that no swimming tutor within, say, a 20 mile radius of you would be able to offer anything.

Anyway …… I expect the OP won’t return as she hasn’t got the responses she wanted!

I’m surprised a school residential for this year hasn’t had to have been paid for or at least a deposit paid.

Can you teach him? Take him to the local pool as much as possible. My DD cab swim but I'm not sure if I'd agree to her going surfing in the sea on a school trip

I never had swimming lessons growing up, couldn't afford it. My parents took me swimming a few times in a half term once and taught me the basics. Can you throw yourself at it instead of money and get into be pool yourself?

I agree with PP, pay as much as you can afford and get your DS swimming asap. He’ll miss out on so much, otherwise. Also, it’s considered a basic life skill. Everyone should know how to swim or at least tread water and float on their back!

I'm sorry to pile on, but you've been back for 2.5 years. Why have you not taken him to the pool and taught him yourself? While you were applying for lessons you could say least have taken him to gain water confidence.

I don't know when this residential is, but if you or a friend or relative could teach him you may still have time. Those of us of a certain age all learned this way. Organised swimming lessons were rare, so our parents taught us.

@Thoughtfulgolondrina Sorry you're getting such a hard time on this thread.

Like you, I consider swimming an essential skill. Unlike you I have been able to access swimming lessons for my young children. But one thing which has really helped my DS make fast progress is swimming together as a family in between lessons.

If you can swim yourself, have you thought about trying to teach him yourself? Do you think he would be receptive to it? There are loads of videos on YouTube explaining how to teach different swimming techniques, floating etc.

Could you afford to take him to the pool every day or even a couple of times a week for a while and work on basic swimming skills?

You'll need to do the following in the deep end of the pool where his feet don't touch the bottom.

1. Teach him to get in and out of the pool safely using a ladder.
2. Teach him to make his way along the wall by moving his hands one by one in a crab like movement.
3. Teach him to float on his back and then on his front. Explain that if you take a big breath and hold it, the air in your lungs will be like air in a beach ball and you will float naturally.
4. Teach him to jump in from the side and make his way back to the wall.
5. Teach him to put his mouth in the water and blow bubbles through his mouth.
6. Teach him to put his nose in the water and blow bubbles through his nose.
7. Get two pool noodles and teach him how to move round the pool kicking his legs with a noodle under each arm.
8. Get him to jump in from the side and make his way towards you without assistance, moving about a metre further away each time. When he's reached you, turn him round and get him to move back to the wall.

This last move is what got my son swimming and he can now swim about 8 metres unaided after 6 months of lessons.

I understand your difficulty, and I would be reluctant for my child to go on a water-based trip if they could not swim.

I think you have no choice but to withdraw him from the trip, and to teach him to swim yourself at the local pool.

I had no swimming lessons at all - just went to the pool - and that was how I learnt.

This is what you need:

https://www.konfidence.co.uk/products/youth-jacket?currency=GBP&variant=42413649363106&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Google+Shopping&stkn=6b855e897f14&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20358550792&gbraid=0AAAAAD-FIlZfnEcQED1GSdVBaPchrO5fh&gclid=Cj0KCQjw9O_BBhCUARIsAHQMjS7vG4uMaBKgAQlTde1iPran3b9h96YJd5UiTIFkV2n5Hp64Ab3eqFQaAl1IEALw_wcB

It is a swim trainer jacket with removable floats and it comes in sizes up to age 14 and in pink or blue. You start with all the floats in place and then gradually remove them as they begin to gain confidence.

This is how we taught my DD - hers was more of a swimming costume with floats, but the principle is the same. She learned very quickly indeed, and we took some floats out without her even noticing until one day she was off with no floats in the costume!

I think it is best to retain the front floats and remove them last - that is what we did.

Pool were not shut for 2 years, but ok. Can you swim? Take him to a training pool he can stand in and show him the basics (for example blowing out, floating on his back with support, getting his face splashed). Then, join a waiting list! You’ve said they’re long but haven’t said you’d joined it. If you’ve been searching for ages the waiting list would
have moved by now if you’d joined it straight away. If money isn’t the issue there really is no excuse. Drive to another area…

My father taught myself, brothers & sister how to swim. We didn't have swimming lessons. Our technique isn't great but we all ended up being able to swim lengths, some better than others. We lived near the sea so he made sure we could all swim.

One of my children wasn't improving in the group lessons so I took her swimming to help. While at the pool, I asked the lifeguard if she knew anyone that could do private lesson. The lifeguard said she would and the private lessons took place during the normal public times at the pool.
One on one lessons will really help your son learn to swim much quicker than group lessons. I would suggest you do similar and ask the lifeguard instead of the pool reception.

One on one coaching had mine confident in a week.

Aside from council pools other places may also offer this.

So what happened between when he was born and age 7/8 in year 3? Most kids start lessons around age 3 or 4 if they didn't do baby and parent lessons so by the time you left the UK he should have been able to swim? You say you think it is a vital life skill but seemed to have never done anything to ensure he could swim? And now you are in a situation that he is going to be missing out on residential with his friends because he can't swim

You are where you are.

(DD(17) has a Sunday lifeguard job and has mentioned it quietens down over lunch and on Sunday afternoons unless there’s a birthday party).

Go to a pool today (possibly via a supermarket/shop like M&S to buy swimwear if the pool doesn’t sell kit). Practice getting used to getting his head wet, then get used to popping his head underwater (doesn’t need to be for long, try to count to ten by the end of the swim), try floating (hold onto the side if it’s too tricky by itself) to see how you get on. Buy a handheld kickboard and see whether you can kick across a width (don’t worry if you can’t do it at first).

If your son turns out to be terrified of water, that will need a different approach to him simply not having the skills to float/propel with grace.

If you have a “local” Facebook group or Nextdoor try asking on there for swim teachers (or contact the local competitive swim clubs for advice; most will have some feeder teachers/qualified teens who teach). Also ask re private pools (we have a few farms/holiday lets etc who will rent small pools by the 1/2 hour).

Regardless of the lack of lessons so far, you’ve not said what the actual criteria are to be able to attend this residential.

If it says must be able to swim 50m unaided and you’re not planning on trying to get him to that level then it’s quite simple - he can’t go whether he wants to or not.

You need concrete information from school. You may find that the decision has been made for you which just leaves you with the issue of getting him in a pool and having a go (watch YouTube videos, read books, get him a woggle etc first) whilst you do absolutely everything in your power to get him
some lessons (advertise on FB, approach local swimming clubs, triathlon clubs, lifeguard clubs as well as the more obvious routes).

Good luck.

ok, not England but still UK. I live in a part of Northern Ireland where this could feasibly happen to the most conscientious parents, even without Covid. In a 20 mile radius to me there is one public pool and no private pools. The public pool runs lessons which meet about 20% of the demand. They do not allow private instructors.
I tried and failed for two years to get my sons into lessons. I was willing to throw money at the problem and get them private lessons but that wasn’t allowed.
The public pools which are over 20 miles away are similarly in demand.
Perhaps not entirely similar to the OP but she has said she values swimming lessons as a life skill. The same applies to scores of parents local to me.

Lots of holes in this! If the Year 8 residential is coming up soon - ie: before the end of Year 8 - then it’ll be within the next 7 weeks or so. So why haven’t places been booked and deposits needed? These sort of activity weeks normally require a deposit paid well in advance.

And if the OP was genuine and wanted solutions, she could easily have posted her general location in a non-identifying way and the power of Mumsnet would probably have been able to suggest swimming teachers.

Before we left England, poos had been shut and schools had no lessons for 2 years. We were abroad in a developing country who don't have the privileges that citizens of this country have. Thus, no swimming lessons for love or money AND no public swimming pools l could take him to teach him myself

This makes no sense though. If your child is in Yr8 in secondary school, they would be roughly 12/13yo? Going by 12yo that meant roughly 8yo when COVID shut down swimming pools. Apparently they had 1 years lessons prior to this? So, a child who didn’t even start swimming lessons until 7 or 8yo, then had 1 year? Kids are proficient swimmers by 7/8yo and should have mastered freestyle, be adequate at breaststroke and the components of butterfly by that point and be starting on turns. From that point freestyle is only about refining technique and stamina but they should be able to do 200m with decent technique and speed for body size. Having 4 years break they may have slipped a bit but not what is described here! Something is amiss.

I agree with others: don’t go on the course, learn to swim as a matter of urgency.

He doesn’t need professional lessons if they aren’t available. Actually I think they’re a bit of a con. When I was a kid people only had lessons to become better at swimming/ learn particular strokes if they were really into it. I don’t even remember my parents teaching me to swim, and neither was themselves a good swimmer. But I could certainly do a few lengths of doggy paddle by the time I started a new school at 7 — as could all of my friends. Paid for lessons for years for my own kids but they didn’t develop the ability to swim more than a length until we spent two weeks at an otherwise boring house in France with a pool.

At his age, he could also be watching YouTube videos and reading books about how to learn.

Please just take him to the pool and teach him yourself. I’m in my 50s and few of us had formal lessons when we were kids. It was parents or school, few people paid for formal lessons. Such an important life and social skill - as you’re now finding out. Holidays abroad with his friends when he’s older? You’ll feel assured knowing he can swim.

Take him this afternoon, then Wednesday night, then Saturday morning, then Sunday. You can teach him the basics. But also put this on 10 local Facebook groups. There will be loads in a 15 miles radius.

Urgently looking for a qualified swimming teaching who can teach a 13 year old nervous swimmer. Needs to be able to swim by July 4th for a school trip. I live in Village Bloggs but will travel up to 20 miles. Many many thanks. 🙏🏻

There are some holidays companies eg TUI which run swim academies.

Take him to a swimming pool this afternoon! Stop making excuses and just go.
Im not usually hard on posters but come on, you're making this harder than it needs to be.

Even if it's too late for this trip you don't want him missing out on the next one.

Can you swim? then just teach your kid at the local swimming pool.

It really is not rocket science.

I never had a single swimming lesson as a kid but I lived by the sea and learned when I was a toddler from simply playing with floating aids then naturally moved on to swimming in the shallows when I was a bit older.

Of course not everyone has that opportunity but my point is you or your partner can teach him the basics.

The older he gets the more likely he is to become scared of water/swimming.

Covid was ages ago and you really need to crack on.

Are they fuck proficient swimmers by 7/8. When we start in y3 with school lessons we have a lot of children that have never even been in a pool. The same applies for some y6’s (mostly recentish arrivals from abroad). By y6 only about half 2/3rds (in a good year)of the class can do the 50m required . About 10 are actually proficient swimmers. Some never move away from the shallow end.

In honesty, I think the only reason that you are getting 'judgemental' replies is because of the apparent helplessness in your responses. All these reasons beyond your control, when so many people up and down the country and around the world learn to swim without either council or school swimming lessons.

Even without swimming, getting him water confident would be a massive help. Go swimming, 3 times a week or more and just in and out, practice getting in and out of the pool, watch others, start off small. How you let him get a position where he could nearly frown when you know he can't swim is another matter.

I have 3 kids, only one of them had formal lessons, and all 3 are strong swimmers. The youngest is 7 and will be having private lessons for half a term after half term just to formalise his strokes. We swim probably 4 or 5 times a week on average between June and September, at the beach or in a pool. And through the winter at least once a week in the local pool.

Not purely to get them water confident (though as we live on an Island and take part in lots of watersports this was non negotiable) but because it is great exercise and wears them out, which on a wet day in November is great.